Love Resolution

On the cold concrete bench beneath the shadows cast by the surrounding buildings, Avery tensed as Marcus’ mother approached.

“Avery.”

“Don’t,” she said tersely, folding her arms tightly to her chest. “Just leave me alone. Please.”

Rheta pulled her coat closed and sat down on the bench beside her. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.” She gently smoothed a strand of hair away from Avery’s face. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you. We all are.”

With a sob, Avery threw herself into Rheta’s arms, burying her face in her scratchy wool coat.

Rheta stroked her hair. “I think I understand how you feel right now.”

“How can you?” Avery asked, pulling back to look at her.

“My father was an alcoholic, too.”

“I’m sorry. I never knew.”

“I don’t talk about it much. It’s in the past and I’m a private person. But it’s something that never leaves you, as you know. Growing up in that type of environment, I learned to take care of myself. To be self-reliant. Strong.” She gave Avery a soft smile. “Just like you.”

Avery shook her head. “I’m not strong.”

“Yes, you are. We’ve had this conversation before. Most people wouldn’t have come out on the other side of what you’ve experienced and still be warm and caring.”

Avery ducked her head. “Well, I’m not handling the current situation very well though, am I?”

“It’s a lot to take in. Give yourself some time to sort it all out.”

“Ok.” Avery closed her eyes. “But is it wrong that I’m still mad at him?” she whispered.

“No, Avery. That’s normal.”

“I don’t want to talk to him, either. I don’t want to have to feel sorry for him.” She lifted her eyes. “I don’t want him to ever think that what he did was ok.”

“I know. I’ve had to work through similar feelings about my own father.” Rheta paused and squeezed Avery’s cold hand. “Only mine died before I had a chance to talk to him about it. That’s a regret I still have to this day. I wish I’d told him how his drinking made me feel, like I didn’t matter enough for him to stop.” She looked deeply into Avery’s eyes. “You have an opportunity to start a dialogue with him. Going in to see him doesn’t mean that you’re condoning what he did. But I think it’s the first step on a path that leads to healing for you. Your life will be a lot better if you can let go of that big lodestone of bitterness that you’ve been dragging around for all these years.”

Avery shoulders stiffened.

“Unforgiveness is an insidious thing, Avery. It never ends up hurting the other person half as much as the one harboring it. It’s the poisonous pill you swallow hoping the other person will die.” Her cell phone pinged and she glanced down, reading the message. “That’s Marcus checking on you. He loves you and he’s worried about you.” She kissed Avery on the cheek. “I love you, too, and I trust you. I have complete confidence that you’ll make the right decision.”