Twenty-three
They were barely inside the room before they went at each other as if no time had passed or too much had. Sarah grabbed him and pulled him to her with nearly as much force as he reached for her. Their mouths crushed together while Joe slipped his hands underneath the hoodie. Sarah lifted her arms so he could tug it over her head. Then she undid the tie on her kimono top and let it fall to the floor.
Joe stared at her naked breasts, his breath ragged. Then he yanked down the pajama pants and found nothing between him and her flesh.
“My God, Sarah, you’ve been like this all night? Why did you let me sit there so long?” He covered her mouth with his as he cupped a breast in one hand and her ass with another. He pulled her hips into his. Sarah could feel the hardness struggling to escape his jeans.
“Why did you wear a belt?” she gasped, fumbling to undo it.
He took over, and then popped the top button of his jeans for her. Sarah pulled the rest of the buttons free, then reached inside and released his erection. Joe kicked off his shoes and Sarah pushed his jeans and underwear roughly down his legs. It was all taking too much time, and she still had his shirt to get rid of.
She slid her hands under his T-shirt and then spread her fingers across his warm chest, exploring the width and the strength. He was so different from how she remembered, so much firmer and more muscular. She pushed his shirt up to his shoulders so she could feel the unfamiliar muscles there, too. Then she pulled the shirt free, and leaned forward to flick her tongue against his nipple. She took him in her hand at the same time, gripping and stroking him, and Joe groaned as she controlled him from both above and below.
“Sarah . . . ”
He slid his fingers into her wetness and pulled her mouth back up to his. Sarah locked her arms around his neck and pressed as much of herself as she could against him, chest to chest, groin to groin. Joe briefly abandoned her mouth to nip and suck at one of her breasts, but then they devoured each other again as he backed her toward the wall.
He paused for a moment to grab his jeans from the floor and dig into one of the pockets.
“That sure, huh?” Sarah managed to say as Joe found the condom.
“Never sure.” Then he was back in position, kissing her, lifting her from the ground so they could take each other the way they had that very first time.
“No,” Sarah said. “Wait.” Even though she wanted it that way, too, hard and fast and now. Her heart pounded so hard she had to hold her hand there to steady it. “We’re only doing this once, so you’d better make it last.”
Joe immediately obliged by carrying her to the bed. He ripped the covers back and lowered her to the sheet.
He met her gaze with a dark and knowing look, then levered her thighs apart and took her with his mouth.
Sarah cried out, arching her back, nearly pushing him away, ready to stop him at any moment because it was too good, too long overdue, and she might not live through it.
Damn right you’ll let him do this, her body responded, shoving those insane thoughts right out of her mind. You shut up and let him go.
So she shut up and let him go.
All through dinner she imagined what it might be like to be with him again, but her fantasies hadn’t done him justice. Here he was, flesh and blood, the best lover she had ever had, and he’d lost none of that, only improved on it.
She thought she understood her body, what it liked, what it needed, how long it took to climb up the crest and then take the plunge over. But between his tongue and a hand expertly deployed, Sarah could feel the pressure of a wave building far too soon, ready to take her whenever she let it.
“Joe—”
“I know,” he answered, “do it.”
And with that she let go, his name on her lips as she let the wave overtake her.
He stayed with her the whole time, still pressing, still tasting, charging every nerve in her body with such wattage and heat she wondered how it could still be safe to touch her.
Then he was above her, with a look of such exquisite need on his face, she didn’t wait to hear the words.
“Sarah, I have to—” But she was already pulling him to her, because she needed it, too. He paused only long enough for the condom, then he was on top of her, sliding into her, as Sarah lifted her hips to meet him.
She had waited too long, she knew now. Waited and tortured them both. When really this was for her, had been for her all along, and giving Joe pleasure was no sacrifice when she could have all of this for herself.
They moved together, lovers who had memorized each other’s desires once before and had forgotten absolutely nothing. Sarah arched as she came again and Joe drove himself to release. The two of them trembled with the force of it, Sarah’s arms still shaking as they held on to each other and waited for their eruptions to subside.
Then Joe rolled to the side and pulled Sarah close against him. She draped her body over his and rested her head against his chest, feeling the strong pulse of his heart against her cheek. She reached up her hand, and he threaded his fingers through hers. Then she lifted her face and pulled him toward her so he could kiss her again.
“Damn, Burke,” she whispered. Then she collapsed back onto his chest.
He stroked a hand gently down her back.
“Sarah . . . ” But then he must have forgotten what he was going to say. He covered them both in the blankets, then wrapped her in his arms.
***
Sarah dozed for almost an hour before her leg twitched and woke her up. She and Joe had changed positions during that time, and she now lay on her back with her thigh open, resting on top of Joe’s. He slept on his back, too, snoring softly, with his hand curled possessively around her thigh, gripping it even in his sleep.
If she was awake, he should be, too.
She drummed her fingers against his arm.
“Subtle,” Joe murmured.
“It’s still my birthday,” she pointed out.
Joe groaned and rolled onto his side. He looked into Sarah’s eyes. “You’re so beautiful. I never get tired of looking at you.” He ran a hand over her shoulder, then down her arm. “You’re so different now.”
Sarah leaned back and let him explore. She had never been shy about her body around Joe. He claimed it so completely their first day together, she didn’t see the sense in trying to hide it.
He cupped her breasts in his hands, kneading them softly, looking at them under the glow of the bedside lamp. He kissed the peak of each breast in turn. “I like how rosy your nipples are. Your lips turn the same color if we’ve been kissing for a long time—did you know that?”
“No.” But she liked that he noticed. He never mentioned that before.
He smoothed his hands down the sides of her waist. Then he poked the tight muscles of her abdomen. “I like that.”
“My trainer said I used to be ‘skinny fat’ when I first came in,” Sarah said. “Thin, but no muscle tone.”
“I liked it then,” Joe said, kissing along the sides of her belly, “and I like it now.” He kissed the pale skin just below her belly button, then turned his head and rested his cheek there. Sarah laid her hand gently on top of his head. She stroked his short hair, then spread her palm softly against his cheek. Joe wrapped his arms around her waist and the two of them lay like that for a while.
It felt completely natural, Sarah thought, to be with him like this: tender, loving, no different from how the two of them had been toward each other all those nights and days of their seven weeks together. She felt no need to be cagey or smart-mouthed or self-protective in any way.
Because once she made the decision in the lobby of her hotel to give herself this one night, she let go of any of the barriers that held her back. She could erect them again in the morning, but for now, for these next few hours, she just wanted to feel him, to let herself be free with him, to give herself this gift and not hold anything back—not from herself, and not from Joe.
She caressed the sensitive area behind his ear, knowing what he would do. He raised his head from her belly and climbed back up to where their mouths could meet once again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts against his chest, and angled her hips so that she stroked him without taking him in.
Joe moaned. And grabbed her cheeks to control the motion. Sarah felt a familiar laugh bubbling in her throat. The two of them had become expert at the tease, both trying to hold off longer than the other, to make the other one beg, to be the one who gave in when the other couldn’t bear waiting another second more.
Abruptly Joe pulled away and strode toward the bathroom. He returned with a handful of condoms.
“Joe…” Sarah said with a laugh.
“I wanted to be ready,” he said. “In case you ever said yes.”
“How long have you been waiting?” she asked.
“Six years.”
Her expression darkened. And one of the barriers instantly went back up. “I’m serious, Joe. You need to be careful here.”
“All right, then,” he said, “two months. Does that make you feel better?”
Sarah nodded. And tried to shake off that flash of momentary anger.
“Do you have any good ideas?” Joe asked.
“About?”
“What comes next.”
“Lots of them,” Sarah said. And if Joe meant something else, she didn’t want to know it as she reached for him again to take what she had been missing for far too long.
Love Proof (Laws of Attraction)
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