Her expression is pensive. “Oh yeah, Van mentioned that before. I think she was diagnosed as a kid or something? They never made a big thing about it because they didn’t want her to feel stigmatized or like it defined her as a person.”
“Okay. That makes sense.” And Dillion understands what that’s like, since Billy was diagnosed last year with bipolar disorder. It’s part of who he is, but it doesn’t define him as a whole person. “I just . . . the whole not-sleeping thing worries me a lot. She’s always hopped up on those energy drinks, which I don’t think is helping her at all. And her not being able to say no is probably making it all worse.”
Dillion taps her fingers on the desk. “She’s always been the kind of person to put herself last. Her job, her living situation, even her ex-boyfriend.”
“You mean the asshole who cheated on her?”
Dillion nods. “She started dating him because her dad thought he would be a good, stable partner. And then she kept trying to make it work even though she wasn’t invested because her dad liked him.”
“I didn’t know that.” But I’m starting to think there are a lot of things Teagan is hiding. And under that sunshine-and-smiles facade is a woman facing a lot of demons. I wish she understood she doesn’t have to face them alone.
Dillion makes a face, like she’s concerned she’s crossed a line. “I don’t know how much I should or shouldn’t say. I don’t want to get into your personal business, Aaron, but she’s been through a lot, and I think she’s still trying to figure things out. And maybe taking on too much in the process.”
I hold up a hand to stop her from having to step into the awkward territory of my relationship nonhistory and what exactly I’m doing with Teagan. “We’re well past the fling stage. I know I don’t have the best track record, but I’m serious about her.”
“Okay. That’s good. I hoped that’s where you were at, since the two of you are always together, but I wanted to make sure.” Dillion blows out a breath. “Van worries about her a lot. She was only six when her mom died, and the coping strategies in that house weren’t great. Their dad is a good guy, but he has the money-managing skills of a teenager on a shopping spree. He used money as a substitute for actual parenting. Add to it her brother going to jail for fraud, her feeling like she’s part of the reason her brother is in jail, her ex breaking it off and dating her former best friend, and having her entire family’s financial status shift—that would be a lot for anyone. Her entire world has been thrown into upheaval, and now she’s on this soul-searching mission.”
“I wonder if her talking to Bradley isn’t helping things, either,” I muse.
“She’s talking to Bradley?” Dillion’s eyes are as wide as saucers.
Half of me wants to backtrack, because based on her expression, Teagan hasn’t told Dillion or Van that she’s talking to her brother in jail. “I think he calls her sometimes.”
“Shit. Did she initiate it, or did he?”
“I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Bradley’s a manipulator, and Teagan can’t say no.” She scrubs a hand over her face.
“Maybe it’s not malicious on his part?” Dillion’s feelings about Bradley are tainted by Van’s experience.
“Maybe, but I think we’ve all learned that the word no doesn’t seem to be in Teagan’s vocabulary.”
I don’t know if there’s ever been a time in our relationship when Teagan has been anything but agreeable. And that’s . . . unnerving at best. “Do you think she’s afraid of letting people down? Or she’s looking for approval?” I think about the ways I dealt with losing Devon. I couldn’t focus in school. Nothing I read was absorbed. My head was a spinning mess of guilt and pain. I tipped over the edge and found an escape in alcohol, looking to numb the feelings. I failed a bunch of assignments and moved back home, to Pearl Lake.
I got a job with Dillion’s dad, worked long, grueling hours. Wearing out my body was the only way I could settle my mind enough to be able to sleep. And I needed that break from all the noise in my head, because the drinking was only making things worse, not better.
“Maybe? I can lighten her load up for the next little while, at least until she’s done with the projects she’s currently working on.”
“I don’t want to take things away from her, but if you can keep an eye on her, that would be great. The not sleeping worries me. It’s not a sustainable way to live.” Exhaustion leads to poor decision-making.
“Do you think she’d be willing to quit one of her jobs?” Dillion asks.
“She probably needs to. I’ll see if I can work on getting her to do that.” Although based on what I’m learning about Teagan, I’m not sure how easy that’s going to be.
“Okay.” She flips a pen between her fingers. “Do you want me to talk to Van, see if he knows anything about the medications she’s taking?”
I shake my head. “No. I don’t want to put you in a weird position or do anything to make Teagan think I’m not on her side. I can do some research. I don’t want to make him worry more than he already is. I’ll keep an eye on her and see if cutting back the demands helps.” I lace my fingers behind my neck. “Can we keep this between us for now? I don’t want to betray Teagan’s trust or give her a reason not to confide in me.”
“Yeah, I can do that. You’ll let me know if you think there’s anything else to worry about?”
“For sure. I’m hoping she’s just overwhelmed with everything and that we can take some of the pressure off.”
CHAPTER 22
OOPS
Teagan
I have to change my routine up because Aaron keeps insisting I come to bed at the same time as him every night. If I don’t take my sleep medication before I snuggle up with him, he mentions it, so I do something I shouldn’t and switch them out for caffeine pills sometimes so I can get work done after he passes out.
And he always wants to spoon. Which I love, but he wraps himself right around me, like an octopus. Half the time I wake him up when I try to wrangle myself out of his hold, and then I have to wait for him to fall asleep again before I can get up and tackle a few emails, set up a design board, or make sure everything is ready for the fall market.