“I don’t know!” Liz heard herself getting louder and tried to moderate her tone. “Something. I changed my whole life, Rosie. I’m starting all over and what’s the point of leaving everything behind if I don’t do something going forward?” She could feel herself unraveling on the inside.
“You finally left Darren after all those years because you were unhappy. You gave up almost everything you owned and drove all the way across the country alone to come home because you were unhappy. It seems to me the point of all that was to be happy.”
“Well, I screwed that up in royal fashion, didn’t I?” Liz popped the entire half of a muffin in her mouth, and then had to drink some milk to swallow it.
“Are you happy living in Whitford?”
“I love it here. I love being near you guys and friends from when I was younger. I don’t have any regrets about moving back.”
“How do you feel about working at the diner?”
“I love it. Really. The customers are great and I adore Gavin and Tori. Even Ava and Carl a little, though I don’t know them as well.”
“So you love your home and you love your job. How do you feel about Drew?”
Liz breathed in through her nose, then slowly blew the breath out through her mouth. “I love him.”
It felt good to admit it, even if it was too late. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it had happened, but she’d fallen in love with him along the way and she’d been too stubborn to admit it.
“So what are you chasing that’s more important than all that love?”
“It’s so hard, Rosie. Look at the rest of the family. They own businesses and they’re successful and I feel like...less somehow.”
She felt stupid saying it, but Rose covered her hand and squeezed her fingers. “Call Mitch and ask him what the most important thing in the world to him is. Ask him what makes him happy. Call Ryan. Call any of your brothers and ask them what makes them happy.”
“I don’t need to ask them,” Liz said. “I know what they’ll say.”
“You know I’m not into sports as anything other than a reason to sit and knit in front of the television, but even I know what a hat trick is.”
“Three scoring shots in one game,” Liz murmured. “Love my town, love my job and love my man.”
“Not bad for starting over.”
“He walked out, Rose. It was pretty horrible, and what am I supposed to say? Yeah, I was stupid and stubborn and didn’t know what I wanted.”
“That’s pretty much what you say, honey. Love’s messy and people are messy and sometimes stupid and stubborn happen.”
“Is it just me,” Liz asked, “or do they seem to happen to Kowalskis a lot?”
Rose sighed and took a pumpkin muffin for herself. “Oh, honey, you have no idea.”
*
Drew didn’t have any more to give. Unable to sleep again, he hadn’t bothered going to work. And he’d burned through the energy he had left by going through every flower bed and pulling weeds and clipping off dead blossoms. He raked mulch and fixed paving stones that had shifted. He mowed, then he got the weed trimmer and did the edges of the lawn. His yard looked amazing and he’d almost exhausted himself to the point of numbness.
Almost. He’d yet to find a way to achieve a total lack of feeling. Alcohol was tempting, but he was afraid if he started, he wouldn’t stop. He’d tied one on the night Mallory packed up her belongings, but he’d had Mitch to go to. Mitch had not only kept him from doing something stupid while he was in his alcohol fog, but he’d made sure Drew limited it to one night.
Instead he took a shower, washing away the sweat and grime of a day outside. Then he poured himself a glass of water and went into the living room to stare at the television for a while. He didn’t know what he was watching, and he didn’t care.
When there was a knock on the door, he ignored it just like he’d been ignoring his cell phone. There was a good chance it was Barbara, his dad or Rose, trying to do a wellness check or offer him company. He didn’t want company.
But after a second knock, the door opened and Mitch walked in. “You’re not answering your phone and you look like hell.”
“Hey, come on in. So nice to see you.”
“Shut up.” Mitch walked right past him, into the kitchen. A few seconds later he came back with two beers. He set one on the coffee table in front of Drew, then sat in the recliner with his. “Okay. Now talk.”
“About what?”
Mitch pointed at him. “Don’t be an asshole. I was in Philly, but Paige called and said you’re having woman problems. I’m your best friend, so I’m here. Talk.”
For a few moments, Drew wasn’t sure he’d be able to. The fact Mitch thought Drew needed him and had come without question choked him up and he had to blink a couple of times and clear his throat.
“This is weird,” he finally said. There was that word again, but it always seemed to fit.
“You’re telling me.” Mitch popped the cap off his beer and took a long swallow. “But friends listen to friends whine about their women problems, even if the woman happens to be my sister.”