A couple of days passed in an easy rhythm of laughter, riding, swimming and dodging projectile marshmallows, and Liz was glad she’d let Rose and Paige talk her into coming. Maybe Drew was being a pain in the ass, with his running hot and cold, but the total-immersion method of re-bonding with her family was a huge success.
Today it was quiet. Joe, Keri, Kevin and Beth had taken all of the kids out for pizza, which meant Mike and Lisa had disappeared someplace private. Uncle Leo, Aunt Mary, Rose and Andy were playing cards inside. A bunch of them, including Drew, had taken advantage of having no kids or older folks to go for a ride.
Liz had opted out. She hadn’t been sleeping well, thanks to Drew and her less-than-high-quality camping gear, and she just wanted to kick things down into a lower gear and relax. She read for a while, slowly working her way through the pile of books Hailey had chosen for her, but eventually she went looking for company.
After grabbing a water from the cooler, she joined Paige and Emma in the screen house on Mike and Lisa’s site. A shady, bug-free zone and the company of her sister-in-law and her cousin’s wife were just what she was in the mood for.
“I’m surprised you didn’t go riding,” Paige said when she’d zipped herself in with them.
“Just wasn’t in the mood.” While everybody else seemed impervious to it, the tension between her and Drew was as taut as an overstretched rubber band and she was enjoying the absence of it. “I’m sorry you can’t ride, though. Bad timing on the baby’s—”
She covered her mouth, a few seconds too late, but Paige just smiled. “Emma knows.”
“Oh, good. Maybe in the future, you shouldn’t tell me any secrets.” She watched Emma’s foot, gently rocking the baby carrier at her foot where Johnny was sleeping. “Were you drunk when you agreed to come camping with an infant, or are you just flat-out crazy?”
Emma laughed. “If we hadn’t taken over almost the whole campground, I’d be worried about him bothering other people. But I have most of the comforts of home and no shortage of people willing to help me take care of him.”
“I noticed playing pass the baby is a favorite family game. Although it’s a blessing they don’t call it pass the baby of doom.”
“I do have to be pretty firm if it gets out of hand. It makes him fussy and, oh good lord, the germs.” She smiled at her son through the netting. “But I’m going back to work soon and, even though Sean and I are coordinating our schedules so one of us is always with him, it’s nice to have this last bit of quiet family time. Or quiet-ish, anyway.”
Liz leaned forward to peek at Johnny. “I’ve noticed the kiddo can sleep through anything.”
“Self-preservation. If loud kids woke him up, he would have been a hot, twitchy mess by the time he was two weeks old.” She smiled down at her son. “And he may as well get used to the crazy now. Lily and Brianna will be a bit older, but he and Paige’s baby will be close in age. Kevin and Beth are trying for another. And Katie’s working her way around to being a mom soon, from what I’ve heard.”
That ticking biological clock Liz never paid a lot of attention to came to sudden, clanging life and she sat back in her chair. Maybe there’d been too much immersion-method bonding. Just because they were all having babies didn’t mean she had to.
Sure, she wanted kids someday. She had time. But having kids that would grow up as bonded and close as her siblings, cousins and Katie had would be fun. If only she was in a place in her life where having kids was really an option.
“So, Liz,” Paige said after they’d all watched Johnny sleep for a few minutes. “How do you like working at the diner? Be honest.”
“You’re my boss and married to my brother. But, luckily, I can honestly say I like it. Great staff, great food, busy enough without being crazy.”
“It’s probably not the highest-paying job you’ve ever had.”
“It’s not, but it doesn’t need to be. Lauren’s only charging me enough rent to cover her costs on the house and it’s not like I have a fancy car payment.” They laughed, but then Liz got serious again. “And I like working there. I don’t wake up dreading the day and then spend the hours after my shift dreading the fact I have to get up and do it again the next day. Trust me, that matters.”
“It does,” Emma agreed. “I think we’ve all been there at some point.”
“Yeah, well, try being the underachiever of the family. Everybody owns their own damn businesses, except me. I wait tables.”
Paige held up a finger. “But you do it exceptionally well.”
“And it makes you happy,” Emma added.
All true, but she still felt as if she should want more. She wasn’t sure where the feeling came from. Maybe because she’d spent her adult life to date working to support a guy whose desire to be an artist came from an unwillingness to have an actual job rather than artistic drive. But now that she only had to want things for herself, she felt some pressure to want something. She just didn’t know what yet.
“Hey, did anybody tell you tonight’s dirty Scrabble night?” Emma asked.