“Are we leaving, Divine?” the girl who came with him screamed over the music.
Hearing her reminded me of my frustrations with him. Had he really played me by moving on so quickly even if he didn’t know that I’d be there that night? I didn’t know whether to feel cheap and used or that the joke was on her because he had just fucked the shit out of me behind the club that she was in during their date. Or, again, was I the trash dumpster whore who didn’t care that he was there on a date? I was so confused and unsure of myself. Not to mention slightly still buzzed.
Azmir never answered her, at least verbally because I never heard a word from him. Michelle’s gape stayed on him. She didn’t know if he had hurt me or not but knew that something definitely happened because we were both behaving conspicuously by wanting to leave.
I grabbed Michelle by the arm, “Let’s go, Shelly.”
Reluctantly, she followed but not without paying Azmir a few more nasty looks before turning on her heels.
As we walked off I heard, “Yo, where are you going?” It was Azmir.
Michelle jumped and turned around in an alarmed manner. I knew she was frustrated by our bizarre and fragmented interaction.
Along with my feelings of self-debased obscurities were specifically those of insecurity and embarrassment. Right away I thought that if he was asking where I was going, he was putting himself out there to ol’ girl that there was something between us. I rubbed the back of my neck and gave a reversed nod in Michelle’s direction as to say I was going to her place.
“I’ll send the car,” Azmir informed loudly.
Michelle immediately turned to me for my response to that in hopes of getting some answers as to what happened. I fought the smile that begged to eclipse my face. Oh, it was a wrap! If his “date” didn’t know I was someone special in his life she knew then.
The ride back to Michelle’s where everyone had met earlier to leave for the club was weird. The other girls were cackling and carrying on almost as if nothing had happened, and to my delight. Michelle would only speak when spoken to and I was completely silent. I knew she was going to rip me a new one once at her place. I felt so dirty and needed to wash the sex I’d just had in the parking lot minutes before off me. I was wearing Azmir in between my thighs.
When at her house, Michelle practically kicked the drunken girls out in anticipation of reprimanding me. Once she closed the door on them, she turned and set her dangerous gaze on me as I sat on the couch like a child waiting to be scolded.
“Spill it, bitch!”
Ouch! She’d primarily call me out of my name when she was absolutely angry.
“I know…I know! I just don’t know how to explain it. It was all so weird,” I attempted, rubbing my temples.
“No! Fuck that! Start with the dance floor fiasco. Was he crazy or what?” she demanded in her valley girl trill.
“I thought he was for a moment,” I murmured trying to gather my thoughts. My buzz was wearing off and the details of that night began settling in.
“Rayna Brimm, if you don’t start talking I’m going to kick your ass!” she screamed trying to intimidate me. And it worked.
I forced my pleading eyes up to her and opened my mouth hoping something would come out, but nothing.
Frustrated, she shouted, “Okay. Let me try to help you out. The biggest question I have is what the fuck happened after the dance floor? Did you guys go to the bathroom?”
I shook my head no.
“Okay now we’re getting somewhere. Did he take you outside?”
I nodded my head yes.
“Well…what the fuck happened then?” Already she was getting tired of the guessing game. I tried to use my hand to motion an explanation but that didn’t work either. Exhausted from defeat, I took both my hands and buried my face in them.
She walked up to me with wide eyes and a collapsed mouth and calmly surmised, “You fucked him, didn’t you?”