“Oh, no! I am not about to share my number with you, buddy! That’s personal!” I declared.
“I would never think to ask you that question. My heart would never be able to stand an obscene number. I’m asking how many times have you been in love.”
Oh. That’s more reasonable.
“Ummmmm…I only had one boyfriend. I’ve told you this. I guess I was in love at the time…considering my age and lack of life experience. It was a train wreck of a relationship.”
“Are you still in touch with him?” His head turned to me.
“Oh, no! Absolutely not. We are worlds apart and I would rather keep it that way.” I chuckled at the thought of a man of O’s caliber approaching me at that point in my life. He would get the same half a look as Azmir’s younger Clan members.
“What’s so funny?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think about my past often and some things about it is hilarious.” I turned on my side to face him. “I’m content where I am now. I have only a few regrets and hope that never changes.”
Azmir’s eyes went back toward the ceiling, “Indeed.”
We sat in silence, I suppose recounting our exchange, or at least I was. The silence was peaceful. I guess it was agreeable to the early hour. But it didn’t last too long.
Azmir asked, “How do you know when you’re in love?”
My head swung up to catch his expression.
What an odd question…and coming from Azmir Jacobs. I was askew, and didn’t have an answer. I’d been getting by for so long without a legitimate relationship that I had no clue.
“I have no frame of reference,” I muttered, answering while the revelation hit me and I rolled back on to my back. I really didn’t know. “I guess that’s something I could take on in a session with Pastor Edmondson. Hmmmmm…what is being in love?” I said trying the question on for size.
Feeling it would somehow start answering the question for me as well, I turned my head to ask him, “How do you know when you’re in love?”
The next thing I knew Azmir lunged at me, pressing my body into the mattress using his full weight. He kissed me, pinning my head between his hands and in one rapid swoop from his arms, he pulled me on top of him. He shifted the covers so there was nothing between us, just skin on skin. His aged cologne was still present and intoxicating. I couldn’t ignore it as he ran his hands up and down my back while using his mouth to claim my tongue.
His kiss caused a blur in my mind and appealed to my heart, consuming me completely. It spoke secrets of Azmir’s being, filled with deep passion and unexpressed needs. I tried to keep up, blocking out the fear from his exposure. I didn’t want to run from it. He was raw and unshielded, something I envied. His actions were so arousing that immediately my juices began to flow. He worked me onto his steely erection pushing me down, burying himself inside my flowing depth. He held me close to his chest, just as he did the first time we made love in my house. I loved it because I could feel his increased heartbeat. And suddenly I wondered was that point of it. Did he want me so close that I felt what was going on the inside of him?
He pulled and pushed me into him to the point of me losing control of my rhythm from the overwhelming sensation of him being so deep inside, tapping my frozen heart. He pulled my hair forcing my eyes to meet his. And right there in that moment, the atmosphere charged between us. It was electrifying and he knew what was happening and demanded that I acknowledge it as well. Only, I felt the charge, but didn’t fully understand what it meant for us. All I knew was that he couldn’t be close enough no matter how deep inside of me he was. He couldn’t warm me enough, no matter how much heat emanated from his divine touch, thawing my chilled chambers. I wanted more of him. All of him.