“I know, baby. You’re right. I’m glad you forgive me. Now I need to forgive myself for getting so caught up back then and putting us in a situation where you had to live a life without me and here I’ve been breathing all this time.” She sobbed.
It really was okay. I’m sure I could recall when things weren’t okay right after she disappeared, but today I was okay. I’ve seen and accomplished more financially at the age of 18 than most men do in the their entire lives. I’ve worked hard and long and probably at the expense of having those core relationships, but I have no regrets. Though, I now fear mistakes moving forward. More specifically, I feared mishandling this thing with Rayna.
On the one hand, I wanted her more than I wanted every penny I had. I craved her. Adored her. Worshipped her. But on the other hand, I didn’t want to fuck up what we were building by giving it a generic title of girlfriend or love. I’ve done that shit in the past and neither of them worked. What I feel for Rayna goes beyond what I could give a name to. It’s more than what my heart has ever held. The shit felt so good it hurt.
“I hate that man just as much as I do the devil,” Yazmine hissed, snatching me from my trance.
I chuckled. “Let’s talk about Daryl Harrison and how you’d like to see him dealt with,” I suggested in an attempt to properly navigate this meeting. Yazmine’s eyes darkened, filled with contempt. We spent the next few hours discussing things we could control and not braising in regrets.
~~~~~~~~~~
I rushed into the suite in search of her. I’m not sure why I acted as if she wouldn’t be found there. It was where she agreed to be until I returned. She was right in the living room packing up my paperwork. As I turned the corner off the foyer, I halted in my strides. I took a minute to adjust my eyes to her beauty. I stood there just staring at her.
“Ummmm...when I realized you'd be late I thought to start packing. We leave so early in the morning,” Rayna offered up nervously.
She wore the hotel’s plush robe and her hair in a high ponytail. My eyes were fastened to her as if she was my lodestar.
Continuing her anxious gaping, she asked, “Did all go well?”
I exhaled and gave a calm nod.
“Did she answer all of your questions?”
I give another nod.
“Are you feeling satisfied having spoken to her?”
I nodded, this time more emphatically.
“Well, what's the matter, baby?” she asked with grave concern in her tone.
I shot my chin towards her.
“Me?”
I swallowed, “I've been neglectful...a little malicious even.”
She inhaled deeply and her eyes fluttered in relief. She caught the reference immediately. “You...you haven't touched me in days.”
I launched at her with remorse twisting in my chest. I needed to make things right. Grabbing her, I swung her around, gently pulling her head to the side as I nibbled on her neck and across her clavicle. I felt her shiver against me as I untied her robe with her back still against my chest.
“I thought there was someone else,” Rayna blurted out breathless. How ridiculous a thought.
I pulled the robe down until it hit the floor exposing her bra and underwear, pink lace. With soft and wet lips in tow, I gently scraped my teeth down her back and unhooked her bra. Her breathing grew uncontrolled, further twisting my guilt.