“If we must do this here...” she said, once again, stealing a glance at me. “I thought we could talk about why the money has stopped. I didn’t receive anything for this month and I have bills due.” Tara didn’t resemble the strong, confident, and colorful woman who had confronted Azmir and me last summer at The Grove. Instead, she looked all of a twelve-year-old child who was embarrassed and in need.
This all boiled my blood. I absolutely felt nothing but enmity for those who pulled on and relied entirely too much upon Azmir’s wealth. No one seemed to have sowed into him, other than her father and even that has changed according to Azmir. Azmir said he was helping out financially and I had wondered why, but didn’t deem it appropriate to ask.
“I take it you haven’t spoken to your father?” His face was agitated.
“Why should I? This arrangement is between the two of us.”
“But made between your father and me,” Azmir pushed out a long exhale as he gripped his head with both his hand. You could see all the muscles in his back bulge reflexively. My heart bled for him. In that moment I wanted to kick Tara’s ass for upsetting him. I wanted to call on my inner b-girl and drag her across the apartment by her hair. I still had it in me. The only thing making me think twice was her baby being present. With calm in his voice, Azmir said, “You brought the baby to play on my conscience. How fucking incredulous,” He’d just been smacked with the revelation.
Oh, wow.
“Tara, you have to go. I can’t have you barging in on my personal life like this. Please don’t stop by again. I don’t live alone and don’t think it’s fair to her to have to deal with reminders of my past. If you need to contact me, call my cell or my office.”
I saw the tears rushing from their ducts and Tara’s face reddening. A ball gathered in my throat. I felt uncomfortable for her until she said, “Azmir, could you at least let me know what to expect with the money so that I can take care of my mounting bills?”
That’s it! “Why can’t you just hurry with the paternity test so that the payments to her will either be justified or permanently suspended!” I shouted to Tara before turning to Azmir and asking, “Why must you carry a load that we don’t even know is yours?”
“Not now, Rayna,” Azmir warned calmly.
“Don’t know?” Tara perked up and giggled as I watched her mood go from sullen to excited within a second’s time. I didn’t understand how or why. Just seconds ago, I felt sorry for her. “How did you phrase it earlier?” Tara furrowed her brows and tilted her head, feigning a pensive state. “Oh! I guess you weren’t made aware that the test was taken and the results were revealed weeks ago. Azmir isn’t the father, but he’s been helping out with things until I get on my feet.”
My neck jerked involuntarily and I saw Azmir’s eyes close in exasperation.
“What?” I demanded.
“Tara, get the fuck outta here!” Azmir ordered in his Brooklyn tongue through clenched teeth then paced over to the door. “And if you really want to know about money, go ask your muthafuckin’ father,” his voice had slightly hitched.
Tara didn’t say another word. She didn’t have to. She won. She placed her baby back in the stroller and with a trace of a grin, made her way to the door. She didn’t turn to look at Azmir before he slammed the door when she stepped over the threshold. He stood there, facing the door with his hands resting on his waist.
Suddenly, I realized my breathing was out of control and my body had tensed. I felt like I’d been hit with a bag of bricks. Azmir was caring for a child that was not his and her mother, who tried to trap him into believing it was his? He’d lied in Tahiti. He agreed to take care of Tara and her baby indefinitely?
Was Harrison correct about their bond?
Why was I now feeling like the outsider that Harrison tried to convince me I was?