“Rayna,” Azmir calls out, as he grips my hand, then cocks his head to the side, and pushes his tongue into his molars, telling of exercised patience, just as he’s done since our first encounter in the cafeteria of his recreation center, barely over a year ago.
“I’m going to start, of course, by telling you how beautiful you are today…on this special day…at this very moment. I can hardly believe your mine, but this you are. It’s something I’ve known since the fourth time I laid eyes on you. You were pensive, head buried in a leaflet. I envied that booklet…wanted that same attention…dedication. You were an unusual desire. A type of leaf never thought to turn over. I wanted you instantly. It alarmed me…the desire,” Azmir peers deeper into my eyes. “I challenged myself to pursue something that held something different—my heart at arrest. Each day after, I fought with myself until I could no longer defer my destiny. You.”
My breath catches in my throat, and I’m enraptured. “Rayna, I want all of you. Before God and our witnesses, I vow to walk these dogs with you,” his Brooklyn persona cannot be constrained, “…hold your hand, be your endless resource against the world, be your friend, hold you down, protect you when the world is banging at the door, declaring your guilt. I vow to be faithful to only you. To love, honor, and respect you, and only you. I vow to wake up every morning full with fidelity to you and you only. My eyes, hands, desires, and heart belong to you and will always act in accordance to your needs and preference. I want to go to battle for your love and commitment until I no longer have ammunition. I vow to be your forever until the air leaves my lungs.”
Chapter 12
Azmir
I watch as Rayna’s shoulders rise and she holds her breath. I just hope she’s absorbed my sentiment. I need her to believe in my ultimate vow to her. I feel everything I’ve said and more.
She chokes out, “Azmir…” and I know I’ve touched her. I only wish she understood how much it’s felt by me. I love this woman with every fiber of my being. So much that I fear the phenomenon of what she makes me feel.
She flashes a wide smile that disappears almost as quickly as it appeared, a telling nervous move. Her lips tremble just before she proceeds, “An improbable possibility. That’s the phrase I’ve battled with since the moment I laid eyes on you in Cobalt, when I was with my best friend and others. Your smile was bright, scent compelling, and eyes held possibilities that before then, I thought of as impossible. I was eerily drawn to you from the first time I saw you…and fought tooth and nail from that moment on. I didn’t know love. I knew nothing of commitment or devotion until your patience and unwavering assurance.” She gives a fortifying breath and I understand her pacing; Rayna isn’t keen at expressing her feelings.
“It took you to recognize my imperfections. It wasn’t until I had a taste of your commitment that I appreciated unconditional love. Because of your assurance, I sought help with my deficits. It wasn’t until running into your being that I perceived the possibility of more. It wasn’t until I crossed paths with you that I appreciated God loving me, creating me with a purpose and illuminating love as a gift. And it is because of all this that I’ve come to know love’s improbable possibility. You are every bit of that possibility.
“On this day, I vow to you…no more running. No more self-protection. No more feeling the need to escape what I have selected as my forever. My eyes were made to…” she coughs and fights back a blush. “…appreciate you. My arms were made to comfort you on lowly days and to protect you on those that are stormy. I am yours, Azmir Divine Jacobs. Forever.”
That’s all I hear for a while from that point in the ceremony. Each word of her vows keep echoing through my head, my heart, and my groin. Everything in me is aligned as far as Rayna is concerned. I can hardly believe that she’s narrated those words of commitment to me. Rayna is never good at unveiling her feelings via words. I’ve always had to seek alternative methods to extract them. And here, before me, she’s perfectly articulated them. What’s equally satisfying is that I’ve already sensed them, but needed them to be confirmed.
We exchange rings and the next thing I hear outside of my introspective thoughts is, “You can now kiss the bride.”
I don’t think. Never gave a conscious thought to how this will go down. I only feel what my heart and dick corroborates. I lift Rayna in my arms by gripping her ass and throw my tongue as far down her throat as I can reach.
After hearing a moan extract from her, I then feel her pull back, she groans, “Azmir.”
And although I can tell she’s turned on, I can hear the reprimand in her tone as well. That’s when I abruptly hear the blaring applauses and pivot my neck to see Pastor Edmonson’s face is red and filled with embarrassment as he laughs his ass off.