She threw an incredulous gaze my way. I couldn’t give her the impression that she could make a weak attempt at weaseling her way back in my life. I was more surprised that she’d slipped up and gotten pregnant by that Dwayne guy. She’d always been on the pill while we were together citing she never wanted children, which wasn’t in my grand scheme of things either, so it worked well. But I was left to wonder when she stopped taking her birth control and why? Had she wanted to become pregnant? And by whom?
The look I shot her told her she had no room for rebuttal. It had been an evening of blows for me and Tara’s time to deliver hers had expired. Once she realized this, she turned with a humbled hanging head and left.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I felt like there was still some type of hold on me. The gravity of my former decisions still gripping me in a bind that I’d tried so desperately to break free of, the drug life and Tara. As soon as I felt I’d effectively dealt with my relationship with Tara this comes along and throws me back into that grip. Tara was convincingly conniving and a baby was a chokehold. And if she was in fact carrying my child I’d handle my responsibilities but my gut told me otherwise. We’ll just have to wait this one out.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rayna
I was preparing for a night with Azmir Jacobs. I was at Michelle’s getting ready for our date. I showered, lotioned, applied my makeup, played with my hair, and got dressed. I bought a black, long sleeve lace mini dress that fell inches above my knees revealing my firm thighs. It was simple and absolutely flawless. Michelle loaned me the black lace Via Spiga booties that matched with it. I tried not to overdo it considering we were going to a jazz club, but it was Azmir Jacobs that I was going with, so I kept that in mind.
Although I hadn’t gotten much sleep, I was extremely energetic. Early that Saturday morning, I’d taken Michelle to have her port inserted for pending chemo therapy. It was difficult for me, but she was a champ. Afterward, I escorted her home and put her to bed. I had to drop Erin off at her girlfriend’s birthday party and pick up a gift on the way. Before I returned to Michelle’s I went grocery shopping and grabbed up a little gift for her and then stopped at the local florist to pick up fresh flowers. The weather was letting up, as it was spring so I refused to allow Michelle’s home to be dark. Dark and grim represented death and depression and I wouldn’t give them reign there.
I offered my home to Michelle at least until she was done with her treatments. My place was bigger and near the beach. The scenery was so California with sounds of the shore and the sun beaming through every window. While Michelle’s place was spacious and luxurious, my home was more retreat-like. She declined saying that it would disrupt Erin’s schedule. In a way she was right so I didn’t put up a fight. I made sure I had enough clothes stashed there for late nights. This morning I was sure to bring my clothes for tonight because I knew I wouldn’t have time to ride to Redondo Beach to change and be ready in time.
Michelle managed to get out of the bed and plant herself on the couch in the living room. From there she could track my every move.
“I’m so jealous, Na-Na. At least somebody is getting some around here. I want all the details. You’ve been holding out on me for months!” she tried to shout as I trudged from room to room in search of accessories.
“You’re not the only one I’ve been holding out on.” I swiftly crossed the room fiddling with my earrings while looking for my shoes.
“You haven’t fucked him, yet!?” she asked more in anger than disbelief.
“The time hasn’t come yet, Shelly. Please don’t start with me.” I didn’t have time to fight her wanton persona and risk becoming flushed before seeing Azmir.
“Rayna, come and sit down here next to me.” She patted on the sofa she perched from while watching me search frantically to complete my ensemble. After locating my shoes, I obliged.