I couldn’t sleep. I had too much brimming in my mind. Restless, I got out of bed and walked over to the floor-to-ceiling window and looked out over the city of Los Angeles. I’ve come to know these sleepless nights too well. Life couldn’t be more complicated than it is right now. Not to mention the contempt I felt for this woman that was asleep in bed just a few feet away. I didn’t want to be there, I was fed up with the way I’ve settled in this relationship. There were too many sacrifices made on my part over the years that had begun chipping away at my quality of life. Shit had to get better. Life had to offer more.
Since I was a kid, I said I would hustle these streets until I’d create an exit from the game. Now that day has come and it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. I’m getting older and want to branch out—spread my wings. And I can’t do that with my hands half dirty. I know Big D won't take this well. But I have to tell him. Once that happens I can deal with his beloved daughter. Tara. Tara has been an issue for a while now. She’s starting to let the money and the life get to her. There’s no love for me but for the lifestyle she’s grown accustomed to instead. I’m trying to keep shit together for appearance sake but I don’t know how much longer I can compromise my happiness.
I don’t know what the hell I was thinking letting people get in my head telling me I should be with her. Who am I kidding? I know what it was. It was her father, Big D, who I admired and respected so much I’d do anything for him. I still would. I just can’t sell my soul to this dude. I’m a man now and I need to make changes in my life that I can live with. I know I can no longer live like this. I need a fresh perspective…almost like a new start.
I’m successful by many measures. My businesses are doing extremely well. I can have almost any woman of my picking. I have good friends in high places. I’ve traveled the world—even have friends in distant lands. I have my health and good sense. Who wouldn’t respect this life? What man would turn this down? I would. I don’t have family—a family who genuinely cares for me and not because I’m cheese-maker, either. I am thirty-six years old with no children; no one to pass a legacy down to.
Hell, I don’t even have an old lady that I would want to have children with. I’m tickled when I think about asking Tara to start a family. Even if I were truly interested, which I am not, she’d laugh at the thought of tarnishing her precious body. Oh, and of course that would create the perfect opportunity for her to ask for a ring. That’s a question I’m tired of hearing from people. When are you going to get married? When are you going to marry Tara? When are you going to pop the question to my daughter? When are you going to marry me? She doesn’t even know how to be a woman. She doesn’t cook, clean, listen, hold a selfless conversation, be financially independent, only fends for herself. I don’t think she knows how to keep a checkbook. She has no career goals other than shopping.
Tara’s a beautiful woman with smooth golden skin, naturally wavy hair, slit gorgeous brown eyes with long eyelashes, decent body, very polished and knows how to interface with people of affluence. That came from her upbringing. Her parents thought she could counterbalance my coarse nature. Now that I’ve evolved as a man, no thanks to her, she’s more like dead weight. I need change.
“Babe, what are you doing up?” Tara called out from the bed a few feet away interrupting my introspective thoughts.
“I’m alright. Go back to sleep.” I ambled out of the room needing my space. I was able find my way back to sleep an hour or so later.
I woke up on the couch when something was shoving me disturbing my breathing. I opened my eyes and saw Tara. She was trying to saddle on top of me. I knew what this meant, she wanted to fuck. I wasn’t in the mood.
“What are you doing?” I barked.
“You know what I’m doing. It’s been so long and you know you love it first thing in the morning.” She wiggled her hips on my crotch.
“Not now,” I grumbled as I managed to turn over on the couch with her still on top of me. I buried my face into the pillow.
“Damn it! What the hell is going on here? Oh, now you don’t want to sleep with me?!” she jeered viciously as she leaped from the couch.