“Let me cut to the chase. It’s not good because it’s not Mark’s baby. Na-Na, the bastard that raped me got me pregnant.”
My pulse quickened and bile leaped through my esophagus causing me to cup my mouth. I didn’t know what to say. All that I could formulate was, “How did this happen?”
As I asked the question with my gaze fixated somewhere down at the foot of my bed. Michelle had known for months she was pregnant. Denial is a bitch. It allowed her to fool herself. She thought she could force the memory of that New Year’s Day morning to the back of her mind and throw herself into Mark in an effort to erase it.
She explained how Mark eventually caught on to her secret from their lack of intimacy and Michelle not dressing or undressing in front of him. She could no longer deny it and broke down during the wee hours of that morning telling him the truth. When Mark learned the baby wasn’t his, he left angrily. It was a matter of minutes before her family would know and began to call to try to dig into her.
It wasn’t losing Mark that crushed her, the truth of the matter was Michelle never truly loved Mark. He was just the ideal mate for her as far as her family was concerned. They were afraid that she’d follow her mother’s footsteps and be with a black man. They thought it was even more of a possibility when she brought me home last summer. She entertained them by dating Mark but she wasn’t really into him at all. This was a mess—a big one.
Overall, I suspected that Mark grew exasperated by Michelle’s inconsistencies regarding their relationship. He knew she wasn’t giving her all and got tired of the yo-yo act. As cruel as his departure may have been, the pregnancy pushed him over the edge. It was yet another obstacle preventing him from having Michelle in complete totality.
That morning I encouraged her to rethink her situation. She was a wonderful being and could be so much to a child no matter the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. Michelle ended up in counseling and eventually decided to keep the baby. She said she didn’t want to just throw or give away a life as if it were her decision. Now, Michelle wasn’t religious to any extent but she believed in a higher power; some BS about Mother Earth or something. I stood by her side just as she always had with me. I threw her a shower and was surprised when quite a few of her relatives showed up even her evil cousin, Amber.
When Erin, who was named after Michelle’s mom, was born that following September I thought she was the most beautiful thing life had to offer next to Michelle. She had wonderfully hazel lit eyes with sandy blonde hair much like her mother. It was apparent her dad was African American, Erin’s skin pigmentation was richer than her mother’s. Her skin tone didn’t matter to me one bit. I loved her instantly.
Michelle was forever changed. Her life from that day on was consumed with Erin’s needs. And me—I was Auntie Na-Na.
Chapter 4
Azmir