But it was a portion of my new and undeniable insecurity. Stenton’s commitment to Jordan never faltered, unlike his affection for me. My lips quivered in embarrassment of that confession. Before colliding with this man I had no bouts with jealousy or inferiority, but since his leaving me, I’d questioned lots of my essence.
“Look at me,” he gritted. I still attempted to hide my eyes. “Damn it, Zoey.” He took me at the chin. “Look at me!” My blurred eyes met his. “I love Jordan far beyond anything I’d ever thought was possible. When I look into his eyes, I see so much of my future, my legacy. I never thought I’d be so wrapped up in something so tiny.” As I listened, I felt the tears pool in my lids. “But that’s a different type of love. A different chamber of my heart. You are the very pulse of that heart that keeps it alive and capable of letting anything in. You’re the reason I could love Jordan. Sometimes I fucking wonder if I love you more than I love me. Look at this!” I sucked in a breath as my eyes grew at his ring finger, bearing my initial directly in my view. He’d now had my attention. “Always and forever, Zoey. No matter who or what, I’ll never have another love.”
“Stenton!” I whispered desperately.
And without thought, I grabbed him by the back of the head, pulling him into me until his mouth covered mine. In the recesses of my consciousness I knew I was crossing the line, knew I was wrong because he’d moved on to another woman. However, my immediate need overruled all morality and for the second time, I’d conceded and consented to overlooking my heart. I wanted him to make love to me. Yearned for him to provide a security that I never needed until him. I needed to feel that I was good enough to be with the man who stole my heart.
Stenton’s mouth moved down to my neck, making me squirm underneath him. I felt my desire liquefy between my legs. I was too caught up to react to him ripping my pajama shirt open, sending the buttons popping into the air. He next removed my flannel bottoms and panties, discarding them as well.
When he slowly licked down to my breasts, I clenched the sheets beneath my palms while biting my bottom lip to the point of breaking skin. And when Stenton worked down my belly and to the apex of my thighs, his facial hairs tickled my heightened skin and my hands gripped the back of his head as my pelvis thrust into his face. He inserted a finger in me, rolling it several times before including a second, eliciting a groan. The combination brought ripples of pleasure to every inch of me. I wanted to call out his name, affirming his diligence, but I couldn’t for fear of alerting the house of our activities.
Then I felt his finger enter a new cavity…the one below my vagina. My eyes flew open. That sensation was new. There was an area unexplored. The awkward impression of it didn’t supersede the pleasure from his tongue or other fingers inside of me. In fact, within seconds, it tripled the pleasure. The triad effect had my back bowing off the bed. Stenton was busy below, twirling his masterful tongue, plunging his long fingers into my core and looping another lone finger just below.
Zings of pleasure shot through my extremities, springing from my core. I thought I was going to lose my mind in bliss. And then I collided with ecstasy. My frame juddered violently on the mattress, toes curled, and fists clenched. I was overtaken by the most powerful orgasm wrecking my frame. I should have been mortified by the lack of control over my body, but I was shameless in my bliss. Instead of my explosive cry glaring from my vocals, the intensity forced it to ring silently into the air while my mouth hung agape to allow its escape.
Once I came down, Stenton moved to his knees and peered down on me. Still emotional about my forceful orgasm and disgraceful admittance, I found it difficult to return his gaze, however anxious about what he’d do next.
“You fucking him?” he growled, mouth glistening from the smears of my essence.
“Wh-what? No!” I couldn’t believe his question. I licked my lips. “Are you, her?”
His neck collapsed, obviously relieved. Then he slowly shook his head. “No.”