“I have a real issue your reasoning, Jenna. This shit should have been discussed with me before presenting it my family—”
“They’re not your family! Jordan is your only fam—” Jenna caught herself, cupping her mouth as she turned away.
“I’m heading home. I’ll check in with you tomorrow,” I said as I opened the coat closet there in the small foyer.
“You’re leaving. Just great. I thought we’d celebrate a milestone, but I guess we haven’t exactly reached that tonight, have we?”
I turned to face her. “No. We haven’t.”
“Stenton, I know last summer we took our relationship to another level, but I’m not trying to stop at sex. I want more. Do I have reason to be concerned?”
I looked her in the eyes and in there, I didn’t see her pleading with me. I saw her issuing an ultimatum. I didn’t take to those very well. Never had and wouldn’t start then. In the beginning we agreed to just being friends. Now Jenna was forcin’ me into some shit I ain’t sign up for. Again!
“You do if you continue going behind my back arranging shit you know I ain’t with. I like you, Jenna. I really do. But I’m not ready for what you’re alluding to. I don’t need you taking initiative, thinking you’re progressing or fixing shit in my life. If that’s what you’re about, you do have reason to be concerned.”
I turned and walked out into the brisk autumn night, heading to my car. As I sat inside, waiting for it to warm, I thought about how I didn’t have security with me because my original plan was to stay the night. My second thought belonged to Zoey, whose actions tonight troubled me. I knew Zoey began drinking, but there was something very disconcerting about it. She threw ‘em back like she needed them. Like she had lots of experience with it.
After sending a text to Rob about my change of plans and heading out to Philly, I shot Sarah a text, too. She replied over a half hour later while I was on the Turnpike.
I’ve seen her better. I don’t like what I see.
That shit fucked with me bad. Real bad. I had to do something. I needed to break through to her. Things were going way off track. This was not my plan.
~~~~~~~~~~
January 2013
~Zoey~
“I think it’s wrong. Plain wrong.”
“I agree. People give too much control to their flesh,” Bernard asserted.
Hmmmm…
“And have done so, historically,” his associate, Reverend King, amended.
“Yeah, man. The Bible never noted that nonsense. It’s been since evolution. God ain’t pleased, man. I want no parts of it.” That was Bernard again.
Interesting…
Since we’d been at Ocean Prime in Philly, these two have gone on and on about theology, “what’s Bible” and holiness. This was one of a few of the conversations I’d been in on with Bernard that actually annoyed me. I never stomached judgmental talks like this. I would admit to having a good time hanging out with Bernard over the past couple of months. I’d gone to many of his shows and attended church events with him. It wasn’t unfamiliar to me. I was a worshiper. Those types of activities were cathartic for me and helped during the recent period of anger and disappointment with…Stenton. It was even hard for me to think his name.
I hadn’t seen Stenton much since Christmas. He’d called and texted, all were ignored. I didn’t understand the need for being in touch. I was tired of the rollercoaster. I needed to move on…and away from him.