“You’re in your 30th week. I don’t think you should be lying on your back,” he murmured as he placed his head to my bare belly.
I was still out of breath and confused by the sudden change in elevation. I felt lightheaded and all I really wanted to do was lay down and catch my breath. His scent was rousing and didn’t help me relax.
“I’m fine,” I whispered. “Really.”
Stent’s big hands were splayed over my bourgeoned abdomen. “No. You grabbed your belly and then I felt the baby move just before you…” he cleared his throat. “…came.” His eyes were quizzical as he stared into the distance, feeling my tummy in an examining manner. “Plus, I know at this time, you can be experiencing lots of heartburn. Your mom told me about the episode you had last week when she needed to go out to get you some TUMS.”
W-what?
“You spoke to my mother? She didn’t tell me,” my voice was a bit clipped.
“I speak to Sarah all the time,” he informed unperturbed. “I told her that it was about that time. I read the same hormones that cause the heartburn are what assist in relaxing your pelvic muscles when you deliver. A gift and a curse in my opinion.” He gazed up to me with a forlorn smile.
“Stenton, what do you mean, you speak to my mother all the time? I wasn’t aware of this.” My words come out formally, despite his mouth having just been on my vagina seconds ago, because over the past few months, that’s the tone he’d taken with me.
“I have to keep track of you and the pregnancy,” he appeared confused. “You won’t call with updates. You don’t even call to say hello.”
I’m confused. Was he smoking crack?
“You broke up with me—”
“I’m still here for you, Zo. I’m still expecting a baby,” he qualified resolutely and paused to examine my eyes. “I’m excited to be a dad. All these years, I’ve entertained millions. Brought joy and excitement to the lives of people I’ll never meet. This thing,” his words pour throaty as he cups my belly. “This is something I keep for me. This is a piece of happiness I created and doesn’t have to be shared with the world; just with the co-creator and those who will cherish it as much as I plan on doing. I would like to enjoy him even now that he’s in here, so I call to check in.”
And there was the Stenton I knew. The one I’d been spending months wondering if he’d ever existed. The conception was an accident, but this baby was created by love. Still things didn’t add up.
“You’re doing that thing with your throat again,” he informed with a glint in his eyes. I don’t know why he finds my irritating habit so amusing. “What’s going through that head of yours?”
“Things have become so…clinical between us. You want me to call your people for my needs. That doesn’t sound like you want to be a part of this with me.”
Stenton shook his head. “That’s me giving you access to the channels that I would have to go to for what you need. I’ve cut myself out as the middle man. You’re the mother of my child; you have access to my world.”
“But you haven’t called or stopped by to see me.” I shook my head, trying to shake the pain from the ordeal.
“Because I know you’re still upset by the changes, Zo. You’ve made it clear you wanted distance. I feel like shit. Your world has been turned upside down. I get that. All that’s changed for me is losing my best friend and expecting my first child. You’re getting the shorter end of the stick here. I won’t push you to tolerate me, but I’m not going far from my baby, and I would like to not have you as an enemy. I will always adore you, Ni?a. I may have made some fucked up decisions, but I’m not shying away from them. I’m not running from you.”
“But sex…” We were here naked, but dancing around the fact that we’re not together. “This can’t be healthy.”