I closed my eyes to rest. I don’t know how long we laid there, I’d drifted off at some point, plagued with exhaustion. I felt satiated and grateful for Stenton’s comfort. I thought the silence was agreeable to our mood.
Until I vaguely heard, “My Dad was killed by a d-boy and his crew. He stole a whole bunch of their shit from a kid they used a squatter on their block. It took them a while to find him. In the meantime, he shared their product with my mom. It was bad shit...shit that made her go crazy.” I could feel his body steel behind me, revisiting his nightmare. Facing the wall ahead, my eyes bulged in horror. “One day, my mom goes into the hospital, overdosing on the dope. Two days later, my Dad’s body was found rolled up in a carpet behind an abandoned warehouse. My mother couldn’t ev—” Overcome with tormented emotions, he choked on a silent cry.
Stenton waited for some time, silence so thick my heartbeat could be heard. “My mother couldn’t attend his funeral. She’d just come through when he was put in the ground.” Stenton let go of a shuddering breath. “It’s hard to trust people with your essence...your emotions—who you really are—when you never had anyone around to teach you how to sort them first. It’s hard to admit, but you’re the first I’ve felt this type of emotional connection to. It scares the shit out of me. But nothing has ever felt so right. It makes me want…permanency with you no matter how I can get it.” He exhaled harshly again. “Zo, I know that sounds all kinds of…confusing and…fucked up, but—”
My hand moved up to his arm encasing me and clenched it adoringly. It was my way of saying I accepted his disclosure and was grateful for it. He spoke about permanency in the wake of his abrupt breakup, something totally contrary to his actions. We remained that way for countless minutes. I transitioned to an even more peaceful and blissful state than before Stenton shared his turbulent past with me. And I knew in that moment I could never love another man the way that I did him. It didn’t matter if I were to fall in love a second time with another man; no other man could ever claim my heart the way that Stenton had.
Once relaxed and washed, we made our way downstairs. There, I was formally introduced to Jimmy John who prepared the most wonderful chicken curry dish. It was rich and well-seasoned, but nothing compared to being with Stenton again. He sat across from me, engaged in his plate.
“So, Indian cuisine?”
Stenton looked up. His marble eyes zeroed in on me, causing my belly to flutter.
With knitted brows he informed, “It’s one of your top three favorite cuisines, right?”
I nodded. “After Spanish food,” I reminded him.
Then I regrettably watched his eyes return to his plate.
Seconds later, Stenton muttered, “My mom…before she…ummmm…overdosed…she cooked for a Spanish spot called Manny’s in Newark. She was…ummm…pretty good at it.” Then I heard his fortifying cough. My stomach twisted. Stenton rarely spoke of his parents. It was so bad I’d never ask, not wanting to pry, but tonight he’d been more than forthcoming.
“How’s everything?” Jimmy approached the table.
Stenton glanced over at me.
“Everything’s great! You’re an awesome cook,” I gushed.
Jimmy smiled and strode back to the sink.
“We’re good, JJ.” Stenton then tossed a glance over his shoulder. “If you don’t wanna see me devouring Zo, you can bounce. I can have Marie clean up the mess in the morning.”
Jimmy nodded humbly. “With what you’ve paid me, it would be highway robbery to leave your kitchen in this state. I’ll clean and then leave, Stent. Just be quiet while you’re feeling her down.”
I giggled, then it quickly turned into full blown laughter. I had to hold my belly.
Stenton’s face sobered and he asked, “You okay? I noticed you look a little pale and thinner.”
I rolled my eyes in my plate. “Aside from suffering from a broken heart, I’ve never felt better.”