Lost and Found

The Walkers had believed me. They’d believed my explanation as to why I’d been wearing Jesse’s shirt. Of course, I told them the truth—I didn’t have any clean pajamas and found it buried in the back of the dresser drawer—but I’d found adults were unappeasably suspicious when it came to teens. Especially when it came to the topic of sleeping around.

For example, if I’d woken up wearing some guy’s shirt at home, my mom would have just assumed we’d done the deed. She wouldn’t have asked for an explanation because she didn’t need one.

Neil and Rose, on the other hand, gave Jesse and me a curious look after Clementine’s announcement. I gave them a simple explanation, they nodded, then they got on with the morning. They trusted me. They believed me—they believed in me.

It had been a while since anyone had trusted or believed in me, and I didn’t want to do anything to betray them. Even if that meant Jesse and I had to admit what was going on between us sooner rather than later. I didn’t want to lie to them.

I knew the idea of their perfect son linking up with someone like me, with a less-than-perfect past, might make them uncomfortable, but the Walkers were quite possibly the most understanding and forgiving people out there. If anyone would give me the thumbs up to date their son, it would be them.

After I’d put a few loads of my clothes into the dryers, I wandered back into the kitchen. The guys were moving the cattle to a different pasture and wouldn’t come in for lunch, so we’d packed a sack lunch type meal, and I would drive it out to them in a few minutes.

Rose was stacking the sandwiches into a big cooler when I walked into the kitchen.

“Clean clothes are a mere dryer session away,” I said, walking over to help her.

“You know, my dear, you can always ask me or one of the girls if you need some pajamas,” she said as I started laying bottles of water into the cooler. “No need to go into the bowels of Jesse’s dresser in search of an old, smelly shirt.”

I almost corrected her. It wasn’t old and smelly. In fact, I’d take a shirt of Jesse’s any night over the finest, silkiest pajamas out there. “Okay, thanks. It wasn’t so bad, really.”

We were quiet for a few moments as we continued to load up the cooler for an army of ranch hands. The cooler was so big, I wasn’t sure Rose and I could move it on our own.

“Your mom called again,” she said slowly.

The chill Zen I’d managed to achieve at Willow Springs flew out the window. It always did when someone brought up the topic of my mom. Rose generally tried not to mention her, but she was in a tough spot. Since I’d refused to take any of my mom’s calls, my mom had moved on to Rose. Rose was the intermediary between Mom and me, and that wasn’t a role I’d wish on my worst enemy.

“She said she still hasn’t been able to get ahold of you,” Rose said diplomatically. That’s because I’ve hit ignore every time she’s called. “And that you haven’t returned her messages.”

“I don’t have anything to say to her, Rose. Her ultimatum included me working hard out here and not stepping a toe out of line. She didn’t say anything about pretending we have this great mother-daughter relationship where we check in with each other every day.” My voice was rising. It always did when I started down the rabbit hole that was my mom and me. “But I’m sorry you’re in the middle of this. I’ll give her a call so she’ll leave you alone.” I’ll just make sure to call when I know she’s at work so I can leave her a message and not have to talk to her directly.

“You do whatever you think is best, Rowen. I’m a big girl, and I’ve been dealing with your mom’s drama for decades now. I’m an expert in drama dealing with that woman.” Rose placed the last few sandwiches on top of the pile and closed the fridge. “She’s seeing some new guy, I guess. She said she wanted to bring him out here to meet everyone and have dinner.”

So much was wrong with those couple of sentences I glanced around, half expecting the apocalypse.

“She’s always seeing a new guy. There’s never not been a new guy in my mom’s life.” I couldn’t think of a single instance when her boyfriend lasted longer than two months. As old as she was, that meant she’d dated so many guys, if you laid them down in a straight line, they’d circle the earth once. At least once.

Rose shrugged. “She sounded pretty serious about this one. Just the fact that she wanted to make the journey with him out here to meet you made me stop and make sure the sky wasn’t falling.”

“The only reason she wants to bring him out here is because she probably wants to break up with him. She knows seeing her freak of a daughter will be enough to send him running. It’s worked before. Makes it easier on her if they just run away screaming.” I leaned into the counter and looked out the window. I didn’t want Mom there. Willow Springs was my special place. A place where I didn’t have to walk on egg shells around her. A place where some “new guy” didn’t take automatic priority over her flesh and blood. I didn’t want to taint what small sliver of peace I’d found with the wars and battles that would surely come if we were under the same roof.

“Please stop calling yourself that, Rowen,” Rose said in as firm a voice as I’d ever heard her use. “You’re no more a freak than I am. You’re just as much a freak as I am, too. Don’t let some ignorant name you’ve heard directed your way define you. You define you.” She pressed her finger into my face. “Stop playing the victim and live your life.”

I think if she’d just slapped me across the face, I wouldn’t have been as shocked. Rose was such a calm soul that seeing her so fired up was a bit unnerving.

“Those are some powerful words,” I said slowly.

“That’s because they’re true.” Rose looked at me and waited. She wouldn’t let me out of the kitchen until she’d pounded it into me.

“I’ll think them over.” I reached for the handle of the cooler. Uncomfortable conversations were something I tried to avoid at all costs.

“Promise you will.”

To argue would have been pointless. Rose may be small, but she was mighty. “I promise.”

“Good,” she said, and her whole body relaxed. “Now,”—she grabbed the other handle—“let’s get this thing loaded up before those boys keel over from starvation.”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want them to kill a cow and start roasting it over a fire.”

“No, we wouldn’t,” Rose said around a chuckle.

Rose and I managed to wrangle that cooler out of the kitchen, out the back door, and down the stairs before we had to set it down and take a break. Last week, I couldn’t have helped carry that thing five feet. Just went to show how strong one got working around a ranch. I also knew my muscles weren’t the only things getting stronger.

Everything about me was getting stronger.

“What car do you want to take?” Rose asked. Her breathing wasn’t even labored like mine. “The Suburban or Neil’s truck?”

I studied them and made a face. The family Suburban was almost as long as a school bus, and Neil’s truck was an extended cab monster truck. Then another vehicle caught my attention.

“Why don’t I take Old Bessie?” I said. “It’s the only one I think I have a decent shot of seeing over the steering wheel without having to prop a phone book under my butt.”

Rose studied the truck with me and gave a good laugh. “Old Bessie it is then. Jesse would be happy to know someone on this ranch other than him isn’t too embarrassed to drive it.”

We lifted the cooler again and headed for Old Bessie. “I didn’t say I wasn’t embarrassed to drive that thing. I’m just choosing the lesser of two embarrassing options.” Rose lowered the tailgate, and we swung the cooler up into the bed. I grunted like it weighed a ton. Rose smiled like it was light as a feather. “Drive Old Bessie or sit propped up on a phone book . . .” I lifted both hands and weighed the options. “Kind of a tough call.”

“Well, enjoy the ride and make sure to wash your hands when you’re done driving that thing. Lord only knows what could be growing in it.” Rose lifted the tailgate and wiped her hands off on her pants. “You got your phone in case you get turned around?”

I patted my jeans’ pocket.

“You shouldn’t have a problem. Just follow that windy dirt road until you see a bunch of cattle and guys on horseback.”

“I think I can handle that.” I came around the truck and opened the car door. It made a whiny, screeching sound. I leapt up into the driver’s seat and found I could see over the steering wheel. Barely, but I could. “Oops. I need keys.”

“They’re in the ignition,” Rose said.

Yep. Sure enough. I guess no one would want to steal Old Bessie anyways. Turning them over, the engine fired to life. When I say fired, I mean I expected a real life, raging fire to erupt from the hood.

“See you later. If I’m not back in a few hours, send the search party.” I waved at Rose before closing the door and heading out of the driveway.

Surprisingly, Old Bessie drove fairly smoothly for a truck in its condition. And that truck had something no other truck had: Jesse’s smell overpowering the cab.

I was about a couple miles down the bumpy dirt road when I reached for the CD player. I hit play without thinking, and that Johnny Cash character Jesse was such a fan of started singing in that deep, dark voice of his about rings and fires.

Actually, it was pretty good. It could have been badass good if the country twang about it could be removed. The lyrics were like poetry, and Johnny Cash’s voice was like nothing I’d heard before. When the CD moved on to the next song, I realized that, in a little over a week, I’d gone from hating-with-a-capital-H country music to tolerating, and maybe, just maybe, appreciating it.

What. In. The. Hell. was happening to me?

I didn’t know yet, but I did know the changes taking place inside and outside of me were good ones. They were changes to be proud of, so I would just keep keeping on. I didn’t need to have all the answers to my questions yet.

After a few more miles, I found what I was looking for. Even from a good football field length away, I made out which of the guys on horseback was Jesse. The white tee and straw hat were a dead giveaway, but it wasn’t just that. It was almost like I was . . . pulled to him. Almost like he was what my eyes were trained to find. Man, it was a cheesy thing to think, but Jesse was the only one I saw out there.

The cattle were stopped and grazing in the large field, and the riders just trotted around them, checking them over. A few of the hands must have noticed the truck because one shouted over at Jesse on the far end of the field. Everyone glanced over before steering their horses toward the truck. Those cowboys took their mealtimes seriously.

I parked Old Bessie under a large shade tree and jumped out. I checked my cell phone and, no big surprise, there was no reception In-the-Middle-of-Nowhere. If I’d gotten lost, Rose wouldn’t have been a simple phone call away.

Most of the guys’ horses trotted over. Jesse’s horse galloped. If nothing said “obvious” like a smiling guy riding his horse balls-to-the-walls toward an equally smiling girl, I didn’t know what did.

When he and his horse were so close I could make out the color of the horse’s eyes, Jesse pulled back on the reins. His horse came to an immediate stop. So immediate, a cloud of dust erupted from his hooves.

I smirked up at Jesse. The rest of the guys weren’t even close. “Hungry?” I asked, shielding my eyes as I looked up at him. Jesse made “cowboy” look good like no other, but him on a horse . . . I couldn’t imagine anything sexier.

He flashed me a knowing smile. “Like you wouldn’t believe. Especially after seeing you pull up in my sweet ride.” He winked before swinging his leg around and dismounting. He came toward me, horse in tow, and didn’t stop until his body was almost against mine.

“I missed you today,” he said as his eyes scanned my face. “I missed touching you.” Jesse’s hand dropped to my hip, and the breath I’d been holding rushed out. “I missed talking to you.”

My eyes closed for a moment when his thumb drew circles into my side. Jesse’s touch was hard to explain, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed it any less. When my eyes reopened, I noticed a few bobbing heads over Jesse’s shoulder getting closer.

“Cowboys on the horizon,” I said before stepping back. Jesse’s hand fell from my side, but I still felt it there. I swung around the truck and opened the tailgate before taking the cooler lid off. I heard Jesse’s footsteps and his horse’s hoofsteps follow me.

“Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?” I could tell from his tone he was teasing, but it was a delicate topic for me.

“No,” I replied instantly. “I’m embarrassed for you to be seen with me.”

Jesse’s eyebrows came together. “Well, that makes a whole lot of no sense.”

“It makes a whole hell of a lot of sense,” I said, giving his chest a gentle shove, “and you know it.”

He studied me for another moment with a furrowed brow before his expression cleared. “What are you doing right now?”

I swung my arms toward the cooler. “Serving lunch.”

“These guys know how to reach in and grab a few sandwiches,” Jesse said, tilting his head back at the guys dismounting behind him. “So it looks like you’re on break.”

“And what do you have planned for my break?” I crossed my arms. “You want to hide behind the tree and make out the rest of the afternoon?”

Jesse’s dimples made their appearance. “That sounds nice. Really nice,” he said, smiling at the tree behind me. “But I was thinking I could take you for a ride.”

“Oh, really?” I crossed my arms tighter.

Jesse lifted the reins in his hand. “A horse ride,” he said in an amused tone. “But if you’ve got another idea, I think I could be persuaded.”

I cleared my throat and tried to ignore the thick band tightening around my stomach. “A horseback ride sounds nice.”

“It doesn’t sound all that nice now that you’ve got me thinking of something else.”

That comment earned him a soft elbow to his hard stomach. I walked around the side of his horse and wondered about how to go about it. Jesse made it seem so easy. His movements were seamless whenever he got on or off of a horse.

Inspecting the saddle and all its gadgetry, it didn’t look anything close to easy or seamless.

“Wait,” Jesse said, coming up behind me. “Don’t try to get up on Sunny unless I’m already in the saddle.”

Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t have. I might as well have tried to climb Everest.

“So this is Sunny?”

“This is Sunny boy,” Jesse answered, patting the giant horse’s muscled neck.

Sunny was white with big, black patches scattered over him. His mane and tail were streaked black and white, and he had one blue eye and one brown. He was beautiful in a very . . . odd type of way.

Jesse stepped in front of Sunny and ran his palm down the horse’s face. “Hey, boy, this is Rowen. We’re going to go for a little ride and I want you to be a good boy. She’s special to me.” His eyes shifted to mine when he said the last part.

Special? Special? No one had called me special once in my entire life. At least not in the way Jesse had meant it.

Sunny’s big head flicked into the air a few times before Jesse came back toward me. In yet another seamless move, Jesse swung up on Sunny before I even noticed his foot was in the stirrup. He held his hand out and waited.

“Come on, Rowen. You’ll be fine. Besides, if he didn’t like you, you couldn’t be as close to him as you are now.” Jesse reached his hand toward me again.

I glanced over at the truck. The guys were already tossing around sandwiches and water bottles. A few of them looked as though they’d already finished their first ones. Lunch was served. Time to live a little.

I took Jesse’s hand, and his fingers wove through mine. “My life and limbs are in your hands, Cowboy,” I said.

Jesse chuckled. “Put your left foot in the stirrup.”

I inhaled and followed his instructions.

He chuckled louder. “Your other left.”

I was off to a great start. I did, contrary to appearances, know left from right. Dropping my right foot back down, I tried again.

“Okay, good. Now just step up, keep your weight in the stirrup, and swing your right leg up and over Sunny.”

“I’m sure it’s nowhere near as easy as you make it sound,” I said, gripping onto his hand like it was a life ring.

“It’s not,” he said. “It’s easier.”

I narrowed my eyes at him which only made his smile widen. I felt everyone’s eyes on me. I was sure I was quite the spectacle. After blowing out a breath, I tightened my hold on Jesse’s hand and got after it.

Jesse’s bicep flexed as he curled his arm up, and once I found myself magically on top of Sunny, I knew it had more to do with his effort than my own.

“You did it,” Jesse said, looking over his shoulder at me.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” I said as I shifted in the saddle. The thing was really only made for one backside, but I couldn’t exactly complain. The front of my body was pressed tight into the back of his. The apex of my legs was pressed into that perfect butt of his, and when Jesse shifted in the saddle, I suddenly became very aware of the spot below my belly button.

“You want to back out of this adventure?” he asked, sounding like even if I wanted to, he wouldn’t let me.

“I think it’s a little late for that,” I replied, feeling every eye on me. I hoped no one could hear the way my heart pounded, or noticed the pick up in my breathing. I’d never felt like such an open book before. Usually I controlled my emotions and the physical reactions accompanying them, but with Jesse, I could do neither. The way I felt about him wouldn’t allow me to hide it.

“Wrap your arms around me and hold on tight,” he said, grabbing one of my arms to wind around his torso. We hadn’t taken one step and I already loved horseback riding. “And don’t forget to enjoy the ride.”

I wound my other arm around Jesse’s middle and clasped my hands together. “If I had a dollar for every time a guy gave me that line . . .”

It took a moment for that to sink in since Jesse’s head wasn’t as sick and twisted as mine, but he shook his head and laughed when it did. “I will gladly take you for any and every kind of ride you’ll let me, Rowen.”

Before my stomach had a chance to bottom out, Jesse clucked his tongue, and Sunny lunged forward.

The ride was surprisingly smooth, and I could, literally, feel the wind breaking over my face. Jesse held the reins in one hand and covered mine where they were locked together around his stomach with the other.

Riding through a grassy green field at a breakneck pace while wrapped around Jesse Walker’s body on a warm summer afternoon was the closest I’d come to perfection. It was the closest by a long shot.

I didn’t do perfect. I didn’t believe in it and, up until right then, I hadn’t wanted it either.

My whole life was shifting, like I was experiencing my own personal earthquake. I felt the plates shifting and rearranging below the surface. I felt the fire and heat molding and shaping them. I felt change, whether I wanted it or not. It was happening, and I might as well embrace it.

So while my instinct was to push someone away if they tried getting too close, I rested my head on Jesse’s back and breathed in as much of him as I could. It was a powerful moment and over much too soon.

Jesse pulled back on the reins a few minutes later as we approached a fast-moving stream.

“Still back there?” Jesse’s voice was light, not a worry in the world.

“You feel that death grip around your body?” I loosened my hold just barely. We might have stopped moving, but I was still five feet from the ground on a horse.

“I’m feeling it,” he said. “I’m feeling a lot more than just a death grip around my body, though.” Jesse’s back did a little wiggle to prove his point. Hello, Jesse’s back, meet Rowen’s front.

“So much for all those sweet county boy manners I thought you had,” I said, pinching his side.

“It’s a tough act to keep up with you around.” He looked over his shoulder and winked. In yet another super cowboy move, Jesse swung his leg up and over Sunny’s neck before hopping off. “Are you planning on staying up there all day?”

“I’m thinking about it,” I said, taking in the landscape. Nature as far as the eye could see was growing on me. “Why? Do you have any other suggestions?”

Jesse’s eyes gleamed. “One or two.”

“In that case . . .” I planted my foot in the stirrup and swung my other leg around Sunny’s backside. By nothing short of a miracle, I managed to get off of that horse without falling on my duff.

“Impressive,” Jesse said with a nod as I dusted off my hands. “You must have an amazing teacher.”

I lifted a shoulder. “Maybe I’m just a really kick-ass student.”

“Maybe,” he said, coming toward me.

I didn’t step back the way I knew I should. I didn’t step forward the way I wanted to. I stayed where I was and waited for him.

“So, now that you’ve got me out here, wherever here is,” I said, waving at the nameless landscape, “what did you have planned?”

I’d barely finished my question before Jesse’s hand formed around the bend of my waist. With his other hand, he slid his straw hat off and lowered his face until it almost touched mine. Everything inside of me quickened. Jesse’s skin hadn’t touched mine yet, and my body was rushing like a runaway train.

His mouth was so close to mine, I felt his warm breath on my lips when he said, “This.” His lips covered mine for such a brief moment it was more of a tease than a kiss. “And this.” His mouth moved over mine long enough to be in the kissing category. “And this, too.” He separated from me just long enough to get those words out before his lips settled back over mine. That kiss wasn’t a tease; it wasn’t anything close to a tease. It was the kind of kiss a girl would forever measure against. It set the bar for all future kisses. That kiss made me want to do nothing but keep my mouth firmly planted on Jesse’s until the day I died.

The kiss made me moan when his tongue gently touched mine. Even with our mouths combined, I felt Jesse’s smile move into position at my response. He was still smiling when we both came up for air.

“That good, huh?” he said, settling his hat back onto his head while I struggled to fill my lungs.

“That’s some gloat you’ve got going on, Jesse,” I said, circling my finger around his face. “And here I was under the impression you were humble.”

“When a woman moans while a man’s kissing her,”—he lifted an eyebrow—“that’s grounds for a full-on gloat if ever there were grounds.”

“Fine. Take it all in. Yes, your mad kissing skills made me moan. Soak it up and let’s move on.” I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, believe me, I’m soaking it up.”

I crossed my arms and waited a few seconds. “Done soaking?”

Jesse’s dumb smile kept shining until he tapped his wrist where a watch might have been. “And done.”

It was about time.

“What are we going to tell your parents?”

Jesse’s face ironed out. “Wow. You really know how to kill a guy’s soak.”

I waited.

“Are you talking about us?”

“No, I’m talking about me and Sunny.” I motioned toward the resting horse beside me while Jesse’s forehead lined. “Yes,” I said with exasperation. “Yes, I’m talking about us.”

He shrugged. “What do you want to tell them?”

“Nothing yet,” I said. “But we’ll have to tell them eventually. We’re sleeping together, after all.”

“That’s true. We are sleeping together,” Jesse said. “I’m not usually that kind of guy.”

“That’s not what your exes say,” I threw back.

His eyes rolled to the sky.

“No, really. In all seriousness, I like you, Jesse.” I narrowed my eyes as I concentrated on finding the right words. Expressing myself, truthfully, had never come easy. “I don’t want to feel like we’re going behind your family’s backs because I like them, too. But this is all so new to me. So totally different that I just want to take it slow until I figure it out.” I almost gave myself a pat on the back for that whole soul-bearing bit.

“Different?” Jesse tilted his head.

Why did he have to ask every darn question I didn’t want to answer?

I sucked in a deep breath. “You know . . . The whole saying nice things to me, buying me gifts, looking after me, asking me on official dates . . . that’s all very new to me.” I knew how pathetic that sounded—an eighteen-year-old girl who’d “dated” dozens of guys wasn’t used to hearing nice things or getting an occasional rose or something—but it was the truth. I wanted to try to be honest with Jesse. It was the only way, if there even was a way, that we would have a fighting chance. “It’s going to take some getting used to.”

“Is it something you want to get used to?” he asked, almost shyly.

“Yeah,” I said, grabbing his hand. “I think it is.”

“You look really nice, by the way,” he said, examining me with a proud smile.

“You think so?” I gave a quick turn. “This guy I know picked my outfit out.”

“He’s got great taste.” Jesse’s eyes wandered to mine again. “Great taste.”

I tapped my heels together Dorothy-style. “The boots are pretty fantastic, too. And I’m a girl who knows boots.”

“Yes, you do,” he said before grabbing Sunny’s reins and leading him toward the stream. I followed and enjoyed the break in the conversation.

“So, there’s this dance . . . thing.” Jesse cleared his throat. So much for a break in the conversation. “It’s next weekend, and I was thinking . . . Well, I wanted to ask you—”

“Jesse Walker,” I said, coming up beside him, “are you asking me to the prom?” I clasped my hands together and batted my lashes.

“From the way my palms are sweating,” Jesse wiped his hands off on his jeans, “you’d think I am.”

“Well, I’d love to go with you, but I’ve already got a date.”

His expression fell. “You do?”

“Yeah. Your ex-girlfriend,” I said, nudging him.

Relief flashed over his face before it was promptly replaced with concern.

“Don’t worry. I promise I’ll save you a dance. Or two.” I wondered if I’d just pulled a line from a classic movie or if people really said that kind of stuff. I didn’t know. I’d never been to a dance. The closest I’d ever made it to one was the parking lot of my high school. After that not-so-pleasurable experience, I wrote off all future dances. I didn’t want to go to all the trouble of getting dressed up when the only dance my date wanted was in the back seat of his car.

“Or three,” Jesse added. “Or all of them.”

“Greedy,” I muttered to Sunny who continued to drink from the stream so deeply you’d think he was trying to drain it.

“Not greedy, just hopelessly optimistic.”

“You know the definition of ‘hopelessly,’ right?” I lifted an eyebrow.

Jesse smiled into the stream and scratched the back of his head. “Well, then how ‘bout this? We have shared a bed now, like you said. I think that kind of exclusivity goes with dance partners as well.”

“Is it a waste of breath if I keep arguing with you?”

“Probably.”

I shouldered him. “We’d better get back,” I said, “before they miss us and the rumors start flying.”

Jesse chuckled. “The rumors were flying the moment you and I were out of earshot.” He grabbed my waist, and before the air had whooshed from my mouth, I was perched back on top of Sunny.

“Okay, Muscles,” I said, grabbing hold of the saddle horn, “next time you decide to toss me on top of a giant beast, could you give me a moment’s warning first?”

Just as quickly, Jesse’s body slid into position behind me. He could literally mount and dismount a horse in the blink of an eye. He really was a cowboy.

“Moment’s warning before putting you on top of a giant beast?” he repeated, bobbing his head beside mine. “Okay. Done.” When his arms came around me to grab hold of the reins, I realized I’d been wrong. Riding behind Jesse wasn’t as good as it got. Riding in front of him was. I was cocooned in his hold. Protected. Safe.

It didn’t hurt that his legs were basically wrapped around me either.

“I’d loved to stay out here all day and talk, or bicker, or . . .” the inflection in his voice filled in the blanks, “but I’ve still got another eight hours of work in front of me today.”

I threw a longing look at the sandy bank beside the stream. The bittersweet taste of what the day could have been . . .

“Yeah. And I’ve got about eight hours of egg collecting, porch sweeping, laundry washing, and meatloaf making in front of me.”

Jesse made some clicking sound with his mouth, squeezed his legs, and we were off. Sunny seemed to only have two speeds: fast and holy-shit-fast. “Mom’s keeping you busy?” Jesse had to holler a bit given the wind cutting over us from Sunny’s take-no-prisoners sprint.

“A squirrel in the fall is busy. I’m something else entirely,” I yelled back.

“Ranch life’s not exactly what you anticipated?” Jesse’s mouth moved just outside my ear. I knew he’d likely done it so we didn’t have to keep screaming back and forth, but like so many random exchanges between Jesse and me that were innocent on the surface, it felt oddly intimate. So intimate, my eyelids dropped and my mouth parted for a brief moment.

Then I realized Jesse was waiting for my response, and when I opened my eyes, he was watching me with a bit of amusement. That I didn’t flush fire-engine red or become a stuttering idiot was a testament to how much practice I’d had overcoming those kinds of awkward situations. The embarrassment on my end part, not the smokin’ hot cowboy staring at me with a melt-your-panties-right-off smile.

“No, it’s not what I expected,” I answered, twisting my head so I could return the mouth-just-outside-the-ear favor. “It’s better.”

I couldn’t see Jesse’s expression from the way my head was turned, but I felt it without having to see it. I felt it in the way his arms tightened around me. I felt it in the way the side of his face pressed into the side of mine. I felt it in the physical, but I felt it in the something else, too. In the something deeper that was just below the surface. It was staggering. It was purposeful.

It was a first.

Yet another of the many I’d experienced with Jesse. And the guy’s hands and mouth hadn’t even wandered into the PG-13 territory yet. That was saying something.

A whole bunch of something.

When Sunny tore up over a gentle hill, the tree, Old Bessie, and the rest of the guys and their horses came into view. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be back to reality, but my emotions were more focused on those precious few minutes we’d escaped reality. I’d never been the glass-half-full girl, but I seemed in danger of becoming one.

Jesse pulled up on the reins when we were a couple hundred yards back, and Sunny slowed to a walk. Of course, it was a fast walk.

Neil stood in the bed of Old Bessie, closing the cooler back up, and gave us a wave when he saw us coming. No one else seemed all that interested in the two of us. Or else, like Jesse said about the whole rumors firing off the moment we left, they were just feigning disinterest.

Oh, well. Neil didn’t seem to care that his son and I had ridden off into the lunchtime sunset, showed up fifteen minutes later with silly smiles on our faces, and Jesse’s arms were cinched around me in such a way that wasn’t necessary to keep me steady in the saddle.

“Why is it you don’t look like a single person in your family?” I said lightly, taking in Neil. Other than the way they dressed, Jesse and he couldn’t have looked more different. “Surely there’s got to be a reason.”

I waited for him to reply with something that had to do with consuming mass quantities of Wheaties or DNA took a day off when Jesse was conceived, but he shrugged. “There’s a reason for everything, Rowen.”

A person wouldn’t have to be especially perceptive to catch the whole flood of meaning beneath Jesse’s words. “Why, thank you, Aristotle,” I teased. “And now I’ve seen it all. A cowboy philosopher.”

His soft laugh vibrated against my back. “I’m much deeper than I look. I’m not the dumb hick you’d think I’d be.”

It was my turn to laugh. “Jesse, I could tell after two words with you that you were not a dumb hick. Not in this life or any of your former or future lives.”

“That is the sweetest, most strange compliment I’ve ever been given.” He pulled up on the reins one more time, and Sunny came to a stop. We were back with the others, and I could tell from the sideways looks everyone threw our way that Jesse had been right. He and I just “slipping” away unnoticed had been a whole lot of wishful thinking. Then again, when their employer’s son started paying attention to the new girl with a questionable past, I suppose rumors were an expected side effect.

“Jesse,” Neil called over, “I need you to head out with Walt and Justin as soon as you get Rowen back on solid ground.” Neil gave us both an amused smile. “A few of the cows have already crossed the river and the calves didn’t feel so brave. They’re making one heck of a raucous and are going to worry themselves into a fit if they don’t get to their mamas soon.” Neil’s smile grew. “I hope you and Sunny weren’t planning on staying dry today.”

“I learned not to hope to stay wet, dry, hot, or cold a long time ago, Dad,” Jesse replied. “I’m on it.”

Neil nodded in acknowledgement before leaping out of the truck bed and heading over to his horse.

“You’re going to swim the babies over to their moms?” I asked, trying to picture it. I couldn’t.

“Well, Sunny’s going to swim. I’m going to just throw the calf over my lap, hold on real tight, and hope the current doesn’t whisk us away.”

My face blanched. Now that, Jesse, Sunny, and some poor baby calf being tossed and rolled under the waves of a raging river, I could imagine.

“I’m just messing with you, Rowen,” he said, pinching my side. “The river’s deep, but the current’s nice and slow. So slow it shouldn’t even be called a river. I’ve done it hundreds of times. It’s a piece of cake. There’re a few calves every season that need a little help crossing.”

“Okay,” I said, feeling a little better. But only a little. It still sounded dangerous.

“I’ve got baby calves to save. So I’d better be on my way.” His mouth came dangerously close to my ear again. “As much as I’d rather stay.” He pulled back into the safe range when he spoke next. “Just swing your leg over Sunny’s neck, and I’ll make sure you land upright and not on your backside.”

“I won’t hold my breath,” I said. I swung my left leg over Sunny’s neck—thank goodness it was down since he was munching on some grass—and, sure enough, found myself landing on the ground on my feet a moment later. “You’re good,” I said, turning around.

From the gloat on his face, I guessed he already knew that. “I know my way around a horse.”

I looked around before replying. “And me?”

The gloat was gone, but his smile became more pronounced. “I’m learning.” Tilting his hat at me, he made that clicking sound again and turned Sunny around.

“Be safe,” I called after him. “And don’t forget to strap on a life jacket or something.”

Even from where he was, I heard his laugh. “Hey, Rowen?” he called back. “Why did the calf cross the river?”

Really? What was next? Knock-knock jokes?

“To get away from you!” I yelled. That earned me a few curious stares. Well, a few more.

Another laugh. That one was accompanied by a shake of his head as he and Sunny broke into a trot.

“What? Because you threw it on your saddle and swam it over? Because of Jesse Walker?” I yelled after him.

Both rider and horse came to a stop. Jesse reined Sunny around. Even from that distance, I saw the flash of intention in Jesse’s eyes. It made my stomach drop. “Nope,” he replied. “The calf crossed the river because that scared little thing wanted to.” Jesse met my stare for another second before whipping around and charging up to the couple of riders ahead of him.

Even after he’d disappeared from view, I stared at the space where he’d been.

Jesse Walker was telling me something I wasn’t so sure I was ready to hear.