I want to say of course there is, but I don’t. I’m in no position to say anything.
Hadley sighs and starts talking. I listen closely, but really don’t hear much after the words ex-boyfriend, tour and together. She’s going on tour with her ex-boyfriend. One that I didn’t know existed. Maybe she didn’t think it was important to tell me about her ex, or maybe she thought he wasn’t important to discuss. I feel he is.
“How serious were you with him?”
“We lived together. He was my first boyfriend. We were sort of thrown together because of our jobs, but…he cheated on me. I was on tour and really missed him so I came home and found him with someone else. I left and haven’t seen him since. The break-up was all over the media and was messy. I just don’t know why…”
She trails off, not finishing her sentence. I’m not sure what to think. I know that I don’t have an opinion, but I’d like one. I don’t know what I’d say though.
“This doesn’t change anything, Ryan.”
“Okay.” That is a cop-out answer on my part, because in my mind everything has changed. She’ll be spending all her time with this guy, one who knows her very well and I’ll be here, waiting.
“Ryan?”
“What?”
“I know this sucks –”
“You’re going out on tour with your ex-boyfriend and not just any ex, but one you’ve lived with and clearly had sex with and you’re going to be spending every waking minute with him. I’m sorry if the visions going through my mind aren’t what you think they should be.”
“Ryan –”
“Is Alex going?”
“No.” She says this so quietly I almost don’t hear her. So no Alex to keep Hadley occupied or to intercede. Perfect.
I rub my hand over my face. I never knew what jealousy was until now. Everything in me is screaming that this is not good. Nothing good is going to come from this.
“Hadley, I know it’s your job. I get it. I’m just… I don’t know what I am.” I lie. I’m jealous and hurt. Her manager did this. She was supposed to be off. We’re supposed to be able to spend winter vacation together. I’ll be eighteen. We had plans.
“I’ll be there for your birthday.”
“Yep. I gotta go. I have to work.” I hang up. For the first time since we’ve started dating I’ve ended the conversation first and throw my phone onto the bed. It rings instantly, but I ignore her call. I don’t have anything to say.
She calls back, I hit ignore and get ready for work. I can hear the phone vibrate against my bed, but I don’t look. I can’t. I don’t want to look at her smiling face on my screen knowing that I’m losing her.
Did I really even have her?
Probably not.
She’s Hadley Carter – mega superstar – and I’m Ryan Stone – nobody.
CHAPTER 24
Hadley
He hung up on me.
He isn’t answering my calls. I never thought things would be like this and all because of Ian and his need for power. I need to tell him no. Tell him that this tour isn’t going to be anything but a problem for me and that I won’t do it. I don’t need to. So what if some stupid article said I was in rehab. If my fans really want to believe that, then so be it. Ryan is more important to me.
I should’ve known Ian was up to something when he demanded that I stay in Los Angeles and not return to New York when Alex left. We’re too close and he doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like that I listen to her and ask for her input on projects. I know he doesn’t like it when Alex speaks her mind; she challenges him and to him that’s disrespectful.
I try Ryan one more time, hoping that he’ll answer. The phone rings and rings and by the fifth ring I know he’s not going to pick up. Why should he? I just told him that I’ll be spending the next six weeks with my ex-boyfriend. Ryan’s smart enough to know that’s night and day in this industry. There are daily rehearsals, interviews and travel. He’s going to drive himself crazy with worry. I can’t really blame him. I’d be worried too if he told me he was going on a trip with Dylan. I may have told him homecoming was a good idea, but I only did so he wouldn’t lose his best friend. I’m a woman in love, I want him on my arm, not my competition's and whether Ryan sees that or not, she wants him and I probably just delivered him to her on a silver platter.
I put away my phone. He has nothing to say. In all likelihood I’m going to miss his birthday and there isn’t anything I can do about it. That was to be the night that I don’t tell him no. The night when I give in to all my urges and finally be with him the way I’ve been dreaming about. I know Ryan wants to move things along and now he’s worried about Cole. He didn’t have to say the words, but his reference to sex was enough to convey that he thinks there could be something more. I can’t blame him. I can’t. He has every right to feel jilted.