“I don’t think you looked at where those houses are located.” She pulls up her hand and starts looking at her freshly manicured nails.
I turn to the front page and stare at the name that has been a part of my life for the past two weeks, Jackson. Alex wants me to buy a house in Jackson. Doing this would give us a place where we can be together without having prying eyes around us or having to pretend. It’s still not being public, but it’s better than nothing.
“I don’t know, Alex. Don’t you think this is sort of presumptuous? I mean, what if he doesn’t want to be with me like I want him. He has his whole life ahead of him to pick someone. I’d look like an idiot if I bought a house and he didn’t want me there.
“He has a life away from me. I’m this weekend thing, occasionally. He probably has another girlfriend that he’s keeping from me.”
“You’re impossible.” Alex gets up and moves to the window, throwing open the curtains. The sun is shining. Misleading the people of Chicago in thinking it’s a gorgeous day. That is, until you step outside and get whipped by a gust of wind, which is the main reason, I’m holed up in my hotel. I wanted to shop today, but am not in the mood to deal with the weather.
“I’m not. I’m being realistic.” I set down the paper and pull my knees to my chest. “What if I’m just passing his time? He’s said so himself that he plans to leave when he’s eighteen. What if I don’t factor after that?”
Alex turns with her hands on her hips. She’s glaring at me. “Like I said, you’re impossible. That boy let you come to church, where his parents were, just so he could have a few hours with you before you left. He snuck out of his house to attend a charity ball with you. That boy is smitten with you, probably just as much as you are with him.”
I roll my eyes at her. She walks away, leaving me to contemplate what she’s said. I’ve been so scared to love since my last boyfriend.
I swore off relationships. Then I met Ryan.
I wipe the errant tear from my face and go to look for Alex. I find her, reading on her bed. I crawl up beside her and snuggle into her. I love her. She always knows what’s best for me.
“I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m just seeing things with clearer eyes.”
“I’m scared to open up to him. I’m going to get hurt.”
Alex rolls on her side, moving me in the process. “I don’t think you have to worry about that with Ryan. Hadley, he didn’t even know who you were. This is a guy who sat in the corner of a meet and greet with you and almost left the after-party. Clearly if he wanted you for your fame or money, he would’ve been all over you the first chance he had.”
I nod, knowing she’s right. I close my eyes and think about Ryan. I’ve been counting the days, only a few more until I can see him. Even if it’s for minutes each day, seeing him will be enough to hold me over for the next time.
If I buy a house in Jackson, I could be there more often instead of being in New York. Nothing is holding me there, especially when I’m not touring.
We could be together.
The loud chanting reverberates though my body. I get chills when they yell my name. My foot taps to the sounds coming from the crowd. They’re here to see me, which still amazes me. Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I’m leaving right after the show. Alex and I are flying into Jackson. There will be no meet and greet, no radio show winners hanging out with me after the show. I’m taking time for me, something I’ve never done.
I take the stage and the crowd gets louder. The songs flow, the clothing and hair changes work, and the fans – they’re happy. When the lighting allows, I can see some of their faces. They’re smiling, laughing and some have tears in their eyes. I know for some of them this is a dream come true. They’ve been waiting years, saving pennies and traveling far distances to see me on this stage. For that, I’m thankful.
Alex meets me at the side, handing me my bottle of water. She’s packed our luggage and ordered a car to wait for us. She takes my hand and guides me down the hall, opposite of where I need to go. Ian is expecting me in the pressroom. He’ll be pissed when I don’t show, but telling him what I’m about to do will only set him off. It’s not that he doesn’t want me in a relationship, it just needs to be on his terms and with someone he designates the ‘proper’ person.
Sadly, for me, Ian’s idea of a ‘proper’ person is not mine. He’s brought guys around before, but none that I’ve ever wanted to stay. The one Ian wants, the one that he deems good for my image, is my ex and that’s not about to happen.
The driver is waiting by the car when we push open the side door. Alex follows me into the car, and the door slams behind us. Once the driver is in, we’re off.