“Someone just has a soft spot where you are concerned.” He was leaning down towards me and even though his face was a good foot away from me, I swear I felt those words like he’d whispered them into my ear. “Sorry,” he replied almost immediately. “Sometimes I just forget.”
I said, “Me too.” But that was a lie. I never really forgot. I wanted to. I wished that I could forget about the miles separating us, and just let myself be there, only a foot away, but I couldn’t. He cleared his throat, and this time I wasn’t imagining his closeness, he was inches from my ear.
“I have to ask you something.”
“Okay,” came my breathy reply.
“Cade.”
I turned, confused, and immediately leaned back because I’d brought our faces too close together.
“That’s not a question.”
“You’re still with him?”
“With him?”
“I just—I can’t tell. You still sit together in class, but it’s different now. So, I thought maybe you two had broken it off.”
He thought Cade and I were dating? How freaking oblivious was I? The whole world apparently noticed my best friend’s feelings for me. So much for being like Nancy Drew, I was clearly the Shaggy and Scooby Doo of this scenario.
“There was nothing to break off,” I told him.
“What?”
“Yes! Cade and I aren’t together. We never have been.” His eyes were wide, and his head tilted in that way that said he didn’t believe me. “Is that what you’ve thought this whole time? That I cheated on him with you?”
Oh, my God. The guy I may or may not have been falling for thought I was a slut. Could things be any more screwed up?
His head was shaking back and forth, but I wasn’t sure if that was a no or just him trying to puzzle this out. “I don’t know what I thought. You’re always together, and he touches you, he’s always touching you. Believe me, I’ve noticed. I’d just assumed that was why… well, why you ran out that night.”
“I didn’t run out because of Cade. I had to get my cat…”
“Bliss, I’m not an idiot.”
God, this was it. Somehow, I thought I’d gotten away with that horrible excuse. I mean, obviously, it hadn’t completely put him off like I’d originally thought. But he’d always known it was excuse, he just had the reason wrong. And I couldn’t let him know the real reason, not now, not here in this theatre where we were supposed to be professional (though I’m fairly certain professional had already been kicked to the curb).
“I have a cat! I do!” Damn it… why couldn’t I ever remember my imaginary cat’s gender? “ Um… she’s gray and adorable and her name is… “ I said the first thing that popped into my head, “Hamlet.”
I was a genius. I couldn’t even invent a girl cat with a girl name. It’s like there was this bridge in my brain between the rational and the absurd, and somehow I had burned it.
“You have a cat named Hamlet?”
“I do.” Kill me now. “I definitely, definitely do.”
That was it. I was going to have to get a cat.
“Fine. So, if you’re not dating Cade, what’s going on between the two of you?”
I could feel heat leeching into the skin of my neck. “Nothing.”
“You are a terrible liar.”
I was a terrible liar. My ears probably looked like I’d spent an hour in a tanning bed. “It’s nothing. It’s just something that happened Friday when I was… how do you British people say it? Pissed? Sloshed?”
He sat back away from me, but left his hands clenched on the back of my seat. “Did you sleep with him?”
“What? No!”
He didn’t lean back toward me, but his grip on the chair loosened. One of his knuckles brushed against my arm. “Good.”
“Garrick…” He was going to that place we weren’t supposed to go.
He smiled cheekily. “What? Just because I can’t have you right now, doesn’t mean I’m okay with him having you.”
My brain tripped over that right now phrase again, but I forced my thoughts away from it. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just refer to me like property to be owned.”
“Can’t we own each other?”
If brains could have orgasms, I’m pretty sure this was what it would feel like. I shouldn’t like it, but there was possessiveness in his words that was echoed in his dark eyes, and it sent shivers down my spine until my fingers felt numb with their emptiness. I couldn’t answer his question, so I asked my own. “What has gotten in to you? I thought you promised me we wouldn’t do this again.”
He pulled his hands through his hair, his curls sticking out in adorable ways that made my stomach flip-flop.
“I don’t know. I just… I’ve been going crazy thinking about the two of you together.”
“We kissed. Nothing else.”
He flinched back like I’d said Cade and I were getting married and having a houseful of children. I couldn’t look at his face. It made me want to do insane things. I repeated myself, “It was just a kiss. It didn’t mean anything.”
“I don’t want anyone else to kiss you.”