Twenty-seven
Luke pressed his palm against his throbbing eye; the hammering shot straight through to the back of his head. “I called your name,” he said lest she think he had intended to frighten her.
“Oh, sweet strawberry jam!” Vivian bolted upright and scooted to the edge of the bed to tug his hand away so she could peer at his eye. “It’s turning purple already. You can’t arrive to dinner with a blackened eye.”
He chuckled. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“This isn’t funny. I have injured a peer of the realm. Is there nothing I can do right?”
“You plant a facer pretty well.”
“Oh, don’t be flippant, Luke.” She touched the injured area around his eye.
It was unlike her not to see the humor in the situation. The encounter with Collier must have shaken her even more than he had suspected. He threaded his fingers with hers and pulled her hand away from probing his injury.
“Everything is fine. Just don’t touch it.” He placed a kiss on her hand to take away any sting his words might have.
She blinked up at him; her hair was mussed again from sleep. “I’m sorry. Did I break anything?”
“You have broken me from ever sneaking up on you again, but that’s all.”
She pulled her hand free of his and sighed, her shoulders sinking until she looked so dejected he thought his heart may rip in half.
“Did you find Mr. Collier?” she asked.
“You have nothing to fear from him now. He’s being held at the castle.”
He sat on the bed and wrapped his arm around her. She laid her head on his shoulder with another heavy sigh.
“I wasn’t afraid of the blackguard. At least not once I had commandeered his firearm.”
Vivian was brave beyond words, foolishly so. Just as he had been his entire life. Now he better understood his father’s chiding. Luke wanted to take her to task for it, too, but his disapproval wouldn’t change what she was inside. She lived life at a full-out gallop. It was exciting and marvelous to be in her presence. But her recklessness scared him to death. He had lost his father not long ago. Losing her would be too much.
He licked his lips, unhappy everything had come to this. “Vivian, I can’t live this way. I cannot watch you every minute, and I refuse to treat you like a prisoner. I was concerned about you making small missteps when we arrived, but this is so much more. Do you understand?”
She nodded, her hair making a shushing noise against his jacket.
“Do you truly?” He captured her chin and urged her to meet his eyes. “This cannot continue.”
Her silver-blue gaze lowered and her lashes fanned across her pale skin. “I understand. Would you allow me to write my brother?”
He paused, uncertain he followed her logic. “If you must, but what does Ashden have to do with our affairs?”
“I would prefer to leave straight from here, if he is agreeable. It’s such a long ride from Brighthurst House.”
Luke grasped her shoulders and held her where he could see her face. She bit down on her trembling lip. “What in God’s name are you talking about? Where do you think you are going?”
“To Scotland. I’ve decided to take vows.”
He couldn’t be hearing her correctly. She wanted to leave? Had she gone willingly with Collier after all and then changed her mind? He regarded her closely, searching for clues to explain her state of mind. “I didn’t think you wanted to take the veil.”
Her eyes were large circles. “I don’t, but what gentleman in his right mind would have me now? And I cannot go back to Brighthurst House.”
He almost shouted that he would have her. Again and again and again. But he bit his tongue. He would be speaking out of anger, suggesting that she was nothing more to him than a good shag, and she was more. So much more that it hurt to be apart from her, even for a short time.
“That makes no sense,” was all he could manage.
She rose from the bed and stood before him. “Luke, I cannot ask you to spend every day of your life in pain, and that will be your future if you marry me. Either the headaches will plague you or my mistakes will haunt you. Can you not see you would be better off without me? I make a mess of things everywhere I go, and today is a perfect example. Word of my excursion with Mr. Collier will have already spread. I’ll be given the cut direct just like in Dunstable, only this time more people will be hurt. Do you want your mother and sisters to suffer my same fate?”
Luke laughed. He hadn’t known her speech was going to end on a humorous note.
She glared, obviously misinterpreting his amusement. When she tried to stalk away, he caught her hand.
“Is that what you think will happen? No one would dare give Mother the cut direct unless the lady or gentleman in question wanted to become a pariah. And God help anyone who mistreats her chicks. She is a fierce mother hen.”
“But the gossips will talk behind her back. And yours.”
He shrugged. “I’m sure that happens now. People can be petty and jealous, but rarely to our faces. How refreshing it would be to have someone actually say something within my hearing instead of falsely flattering me then reviling me once I walk away.” He cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb over her silky skin. “That day at the church picnic I knew you hadn’t been taught to ignore hurtful words. I wanted to protect you from gossip as much as possible for your sake, not ours.”
“I am bad for you, Luke. Why can’t you see the truth? You need a genteel wife who will make you proud.”
“You are exactly the kind of wife I need. I have been traveling the world in search of something that would make me feel whole again, and you were right here all along. You are what I need.”
Tears flooded her eyes; her expression twisted with doubt.
“You also make me feel out of control, Viv, and I hate it. I want to keep you safely by my side. I want to love you into our dotage, so why won’t you allow it? Do you have no faith in me?”
She eased away from him and swiped at her tears. “I don’t understand.”
“You know of my failings. How I turned my back on my responsibilities and my struggles with—” His throat tightened and refused to allow the last word.
“Oh, Luke.” A soft glow emanated from her bright eyes, and she reached out to caress his face. “I have absolute faith in you. I wish nothing more than to spend my life with you, but you deserve more.”
His heart stuttered before launching into a driving rhythm. She thought she was saving him, a misguided attempt to protect him. “You have everything I want, Vivian.”
She sighed and let her hand hang by her side. “You only say that because there are things you don’t know about me. Things I have done that could change how you feel about me.”
“You are speaking of the groom.”
She gasped. “How—?”
“I have known for some time, and I don’t believe the rumors.”
Her lips parted on a breath, tempting him to kiss her. “Just like that, you believe in my innocence?”
“I know you and I believe in you, but the question remains whether you believe in me, too. Upon my honor, I will protect you, my love. I will utilize every drop of power my title allows me to save you, but I must know if you trust in my capabilities.”
She blinked, his words seeming to penetrate her stubborn head. “I have never doubted you.”
“Nor I, you.” He leaned forward until they were nearly nose to nose. “And someday, if you want to tell me what happened that day with the groom, I will listen with an open heart and mind.”
“What is wrong with now?”
“Now I want to kiss you.”
***
Vivi gave up her arguments the moment his lips touched hers. His kiss was demanding and possessive. Her heart stalled then began to beat heavily, more vigorously as hope built inside her.
Luke wanted her. He believed in her. He promised to weather any storms for her.
Even if it was unfair to ask this of him, she couldn’t deny the truth any longer. She would have no life if they were separated, and neither would he.
He held her tightly against him, his hand cradling the back of her head as his tongue swept across her lips. She moaned softly, opening her mouth to welcome the sweep of his tongue. He kissed her deeply, intimately until she could no longer distinguish what was her and what was him. They had merged into one.
Luke broke the kiss but didn’t pull back. They were suspended there, mouths close but not touching. Her lips were moist and swollen; her pulse was fast and strong.
His thumb moved in a slow arc across her cheek. “Stop me now, my love, for I haven’t the willpower on my own.”
There was no stopping for either of them. She needed him like she needed air to breathe.
“I don’t want to stop.” She flicked her tongue across his bottom lip, goading him. He cursed softly then seized her mouth again.
His fierceness fed her desire, challenging her to love him with the same passionate intensity. She climbed onto his lap. Cradling his head, she kissed him as deeply as he had her. How she loved his touch, his spicy scent, the brush of his dark hair against her wrists. Every inch of her was pressed against him, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to see the strength she could feel beneath his clothes.
She unknotted his cravat then moved to his waistcoat, shoving the garment down his arms. He released her long enough to pull his arms free.
“Undress me too,” she said as she tugged his shirt from the waistband of his trousers.
Luke urged her to stand at the edge of the bed then spun her away from him. His fingers attacked the fastenings down the back of her gown and pushed it off her shoulders. With the last button released, the muslin slid down her body and pooled at her feet. He unlaced her corset and tossed it to the floor. Her petticoats followed.
“Turn around.”
She did as he commanded. With his blue eyes ablaze, he grasped the hem of her chemise and peeled it over her head. She bent forward to release the ties of her stockings.
“Leave them on.”
Her hand paused in midair and shook slightly. His demands excited her in a way she never would have expected.
He ripped his shirt over his head, messing up his curls, and then stood to unfasten his buckskin trousers.
Her stomach tumbled. “What should I do now, Your Grace?” Her voice sounded deeper, sultry.
He kicked off his boots, dropped his pants, and sat back on the edge of the bed. He extended his hand and she placed hers in his. “Come here so I may touch you.”
His fingers curled around her wrist and tugged her toward him. Her thighs bumped against the mattress, and she cried out in surprise. He raised one brow and grinned most wickedly as his fingers walked up the backs of her legs to cradle her bottom. His lips grazed the valley between her breasts.
“I want to taste every inch of you, Vivian.”
He began at the hollow at her collarbone, licking, and he stroked her body from hip to shoulder then back again. Her breasts felt fuller and moisture pooled between her legs. She captured his head and drew him to her breast, her nails lightly scraping his scalp. His tongue lapped at her nipple until she twisted in his arms, wanting to be closer. He sucked her into his mouth and lovingly circled her bud until it was hard and tingling. His fingers made lazy loops at the base of her spine, and tremors coursed through her.
An ache began deep inside her, a longing for something more than the pleasure she had known recently.
“I want…”
She didn’t know what to call it or even what she was asking. She just knew she couldn’t get enough of him no matter how closely she hugged him to her.
He gazed up at her, his eyes almost black. “And I want you.”
His hand continued its journey down her belly and delved into her curls. She leaned into his tender touch with a satisfied sigh.
“Show me what comes next.”
“Vivian,” he said on a breath. He sounded as if he intended to argue, but she wouldn’t allow it. Grasping his chin, she tipped his head back then leaned over him, her mouth hovering close to his.
“I want to know how to make love. Please, tell me what to do or I’ll be forced to explore all on my own.”
He grinned. “Is that supposed to sway me to do your bidding?”
“May—”
He pulled her onto the bed and she squealed. He rolled so she was beneath him and smiled down at her. “You are wrong again. When will you learn I play to win?”
“I—”
His mouth plundered hers until she lost awareness of everything except the most delicious details—the searing heat of his hand on her hip, the rapid beat of his pulse at his neck, his hardness pressing against her intimately.
His kisses trailed down her chin, her neck, and her chest. He took her nipple between his teeth and gently tugged.
“Luke!”
He drew back, his eyes filled with concern. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” she whispered. Her chest rose and fell more rapidly than before. Making love with him was exhilarating beyond anything she had ever imagined.
“I’m frightening you.”
She shook her head. “Do it again.”
A sly grin spread across his face before he lightly nipped her breast again. His fingers touched between her legs and she arched her back. He caressed and teased her body until she quivered from head to toe.
He shifted to kiss her again then placed his head close to hers. His warm breath feathered over her ear. “I’m going to bring you to completion now.”
“No!” She gripped his shoulders and tried to hold him in place when he slid down her, but she didn’t have the strength.
He settled between her thighs. “Yes, Vivian. And then I am going to take your innocence, because I am beyond the point of stopping.”
She laughed, the sound airy. “I’m giving it to you.”
“And I love your generosity.”
***
Luke’s blood rushed through his veins. Vivian’s taste on his tongue and her erotic sighs and moans made him harder than he could ever remember being. His sexual hunger for her was untamed and his control overtaxed. When she had appeared frightened by his fervor, he had felt like a scoundrel, but then she had held him captive with her liquid-silver gaze and told him to do it again.
He licked her again and again, sensing the tremors racing down her legs. Vivian’s breaths came faster and harder. When she came, she cried out loudly, her legs clamping around his head. He thrust his fingers into her, feeling her body grip him. She released a long sigh and dissolved into the bedding, her arms and legs limp.
He feared she would still experience pain, but perhaps her relaxed state would make their coupling easier. Positioning his body above her, he kissed her forehead, her nose, her chin. “I love you.”
“Me too,” she whispered.
He smiled and brushed the back of his fingers over her soft cheek. Would she ever make the same declaration to him? Perhaps he didn’t need to hear the words for there was no mistaking the affection for him in her gaze.
He prepared to enter her, uncertain if he should give her fair warning first. He kissed her again and surged forward while his mouth still covered hers.
She stiffened and tore her mouth from his. “Oh, my Lord! Gads, that—”
She snapped her mouth closed and stared up at him with wide eyes. He held still, his tortured breath stirring her hair. She felt amazing surrounding him, but he hated that she had to suffer for his pleasure.
He kissed her temple. “I’m sorry, darling. This is the only time it will hurt, I promise.”
She shook her head. “I’m all right. It was just a bit…shocking.”
“You are a horrible liar.”
Her chin lifted. “I am not lying. And this can’t be all there is to it, so please continue.”
His laugh was strained, but he genuinely appreciated her pluck. Gently, he withdrew and slid back inside her. As he repeated the motion, she sighed and closed her eyes. Her hands brushed his buttocks and tension seemed to drain from her.
“Move your hips with me,” he murmured.
When he thrust into her, she met him and sighed again. He stopped to kiss her then pushed into her once more. She quickly adapted her movements with his and soon he was lost in her. Her soft moans filled him with elation as she welcomed him, loving him back with her body. Her fingers clutched at his back, urging him to go deeper.
His thoughts abandoned him, all except one word repeating in his head. You. He had found what he had been searching for all this time. Vivian was his guiding star, leading him back to the life he had always been meant to live. She was his hope, his deepest desires, and his destiny.
“You are mine,” he murmured moments before she sent him to his la petite mort. He surrendered to it, welcoming his temporary destruction, for his beloved Vivian would put him together again as only she could.