Twenty-two
Vivi hid in the shadows, her heart trying to burst from her chest. There had been much more activity in the corridors after dark than she ever would have guessed. Did everyone have a case of insomnia this evening? She had no idea how she would explain being out of her chambers if anyone discovered her.
She considered turning back, but she had made her way to the wing where Luke’s study rested without crossing paths with anyone. Besides, she was almost there. A strip of light pushed under his door down the corridor. In a dozen steps, she would be safe.
Vivi crept from her hiding spot and hurried toward his study, but the door swung open. Frantic, she searched for a place to hide. She brushed against heavy material—curtains—and batted them aside to slip behind them.
Light footsteps padded her way. Perhaps those of a female servant? When the woman passed, Vivi peeked but the passerby was nothing but a shadow moving quickly down the corridor.
Several moments passed before she determined no one else was stirring. Fearful of making too much noise, she rushed for Luke’s study and crept inside without knocking.
Luke was behind his desk, his face a strained mask of concentration. He seemed unaware he wasn’t alone. Indecisiveness held her in place; the raised panel of the door dug into her shoulder blades.
Lying in bed moments earlier, worries had whipped around in her head until her entire body had grown stiff with tension. Sleep was too far off to see it. She’d thought she might find peace if she could question Luke about the reason he had enlisted Miss Truax to tutor her. In truth, she felt like an intruder.
“Damn,” he said through clenched teeth and dropped the letter on the desk.
Vivi trembled, certain he knew she had invaded his study and was angry, but he closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose. A soft groan sounded deep in his throat.
“What is wrong?” she murmured.
His head snapped up. “Johanna—” Whatever he was going to say was forgotten. His eyes expanded and his mouth fell open.
“I’m sorry for intruding.”
He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. There was no spark of amusement in his gaze this time. “Vivian, what are you doing out of your chambers?”
“I wanted to see you. I shouldn’t have come.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
If she could back her way through the solid door, she would be gone already. She’d rarely seen him angry, and the sharp edge to his voice was unsettling.
“But you are here now, and I won’t have you putting yourself at risk again by sending you back to your chambers unescorted. Come here.”
She hesitated, her heart slamming against her ribs, but then entreated her legs to obey. She stood before his desk with her hands clutched at her waist.
His cold stare melted and his mouth softened. “Don’t look so dire, darling. I’m not the headmaster about to take you to task for an infraction. I would like you on this side of my desk, if you please.”
Her misgivings lessened as he held out his hand in invitation. She rounded the desk and allowed him to draw her onto his lap. He wrapped her in his arms and nuzzled her cheek.
“I missed you,” he said. “I’m unhappy you stole from your chambers without an escort, but I am pleased to see you.”
Vivi slipped her fingers around his nape. “Peas and carrots! What happened to your neck? It feels like granite.”
“Don’t.” He reached to extract her hand but closed his eyes and sighed when she kneaded a knot she found at the base of his head.
“Do you suffer headaches, too? My poor cousin has battled them for years.” Vivi hopped up from his lap and went behind his chair. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she squeezed.
He groaned under his breath.
“Patrice’s pain usually comes when she frets. It is uncanny how predictable her headaches have become.”
“I’m not fretting.”
Vivi made a noncommittal sound and pressed harder against another knotted muscle she discovered. “I wouldn’t blame you if you were a tad anxious. That pile of post looks rather daunting.”
“I’m not anxious,” he snapped.
“Very well. Let’s call you surly instead.” She pushed her thumb along a ridge where his shoulder met neck.
He groaned again and sank against the seat. “Is that what you do for your cousin?”
“It seems to help her. How are you feeling?”
“Better.” He sounded surprised. “Where did you learn to do this?”
She faltered in her movement then pressed even harder. She wanted to forget Owen, but he had been a major influence in her life; it seemed impossible to banish him from her memory without forgetting the good parts, too. “When my horse had an injury, one of our grooms allowed me to watch as he made a poultice and rubbed it into Romie’s sore leg. It helped him tremendously, so I thought it should work as well for people.”
“Clever.” He caught her hand and brought it to his lips.
Triumph swelled within her. He was hers at last. Every caress, loving kiss, and soft endearment told her it was so.
She returned to the warmth of his embrace, leaned her head on his shoulder, and rested her hand on his chest. “Do you know what brings on your head pain?”
His body twitched beneath her fingers. “It just comes.”
She pulled back to look into his eyes. A dusky shadow had begun to form on his jaw and created a pleasant roughness against her palm when she caressed his cheek. He met her gaze for a second then looked away.
“What is wrong, my love? I can see something is bothering you.”
He grabbed her hand, encircling her wrist with his thumb and forefinger. A thousand emotions flashed in his blue eyes, every one of them troubling. Eventually, he released a weary breath. “I suppose you will find out at some point. It is best you know now.”
She sat up straighter and frowned. What horrible confession was he about to make, for his stricken expression left her with no doubt he had a terrible secret?
“I haven’t been able to read since the accident.”
“That cannot be true. You penned a note to me at Brighthurst.”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t mean I am illiterate. Reading brings on my headaches. A short missive is manageable.”
“Oh.” Vivi didn’t see how this revelation was horrible in the least, aside from the discomfort he experienced. Still, that should be easy enough to avoid. “Then I recommend you don’t read.”
He laughed, but his usual cheerfulness was missing. “Do you see the pile of correspondence requiring my attention? This is the result of not reading. How am I to fulfill my duties when I can’t perform the most basic functions?”
She nibbled her bottom lip. Perhaps he had a point, but there must be some way to manage. “I could rub your neck every day if need be. I don’t mind.”
“Am I to smuggle you into the House of Lords under my cloak?” He flashed a real smile for the first time since she had entered his study. “Why does that thought bring me immense pleasure?”
Her belly flopped when her mind drifted to what she would find under his cloak. She cleared her throat. “I saw a woman leaving your study. Was it Miss Truax?”
His smile faded and he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not what it seems.”
“I’m not sure what it seems. Miss Truax was here, so I assume you spoke.” Vivi was more than curious to know what the other woman had to say. Had she told him about their exchange in the garden?
He released a long sigh. “We spoke of my mother. I think she is improving each day.”
This good news did not explain the deep lines between his brows.
“Is that all?” Her voice quivered.
“Not exactly.” He opened his arms. “Come here.”
She laid her cheek against his chest. His heartbeat echoed in her ear.
He kissed the top of her head and hugged her closer. “I became concerned about Miss Truax this evening when I saw her waltzing with Jonathan Collier. I warned her away from him.”
She drew back. “Why? What has he done?”
“It’s nothing you must worry about. Mr. Collier isn’t likely to bother you after our talk at the inn, unless he wishes to have a ball put in his chest.”
His stern frown startled her. She didn’t know if she could live with being the cause of another person’s injury or death. Nor could she imagine Luke being able to live with himself.
“You could never shoot a man for my sake,” she said, making light of his assertion.
He tipped her chin up, his intense eyes holding her entranced. “I could and I would if anyone tried to hurt you. Have you any idea how precious you are to me?”
When he kissed her, she could taste promise. His ardent conviction shook her. How had he come to feel so strongly for her in their short time together? It was true she had fallen in love with him, but Luke was more to her than she could ever be to him. He was her path to freedom. All she could ever become to him was a dutiful wife, one who never embarrassed him or cast a shadow on his reputation. And she wasn’t even certain she could be that for him.
If he wanted her to accept Miss Truax’s assistance, she wouldn’t defy him.
She broke their kiss, but he took the opportunity to nibble on her earlobe. “I don’t want to let you down, Luke.”
He brushed her hair from her eyes and cradled her head. His thumb drew circles on her neck and sent a shiver down her spine. “You are incapable of letting me down, Viv.”
His eyes bore into hers, as if he could see inside her.
“B-but I could. It wouldn’t be my intention, but that would hardly matter. I don’t want to cause trouble for you or your family.”
“Then don’t.” His mouth on hers silenced her.
If only everything was that simple. As his lips moved over hers, she tried to hold on to her thoughts, the things she wanted to say to him, but her head felt foggy and soon she had to let it go. Only for a moment. For now she just wanted to drink in his kisses and breathe in his scent.
He parted her lips and flicked his tongue into her mouth. His teasing made her want him even more, and she pressed her body closer to his. He stood with a moan and cupped her bottom, dragging her against him. His hardness no longer surprised her or sparked her curiosity. She knew what she would find in his breeches and how touching him could bring him pleasure. What she didn’t know was if she could carry him over the edge as he had done to her at the lake.
The image of him writhing in ecstasy with a bit of coaxing from her fingers made her heart hammer. She burned with the desire to pleasure him this time.
Creating a space between their bodies, she eased her hand down his rippled stomach and burrowed beneath his waistband. The tips of her fingers brushed the rounded head of his cock, and he grunted.
She looked up into midnight blue eyes and held his gaze, daring him to stop her, then circled him with her fingers. His black lashes fluttered closed and his nostrils flared. Emboldened, she explored the length of him, noting the husky groan deep within his chest. “Do you like when I touch you this way?”
His Adam’s apple jerked. “Yes.”
She smiled, but when he grabbed her hand to still it, she sighed. “What am I doing wrong?”
His eyes flew open and he blinked as if trying to bring her into focus. “Nothing.”
“Then why are you stopping me?” She stroked him again and was rewarded with a sharp hiss. He liked her touch as much as she enjoyed touching him, but he stopped her again, pulling her hand from his breeches.
“This is still new for you. I can’t allow you to do such things.”
“Even if I want to?”
He laughed softly, but she wasn’t joking. He had escorted her into a world of unimaginable bliss their last time alone. Didn’t men feel everything the way women did? “I want to make you feel good, too.”
His grip around her wrist tightened when she tried to wiggle her hand free. “You are… Viv, I can’t—”
He most certainly could if he wanted. “Fine.” Hooking her other hand around his neck, she pulled him toward her for another kiss. She would share this experience with him whether he thought he could allow it or not. Shrinking violets had delicate sensibilities. Vivi was no shrinking violet.
The meeting of their lips ignited a fire in her belly. His fingers slid into her hair, and he slanted her head to delve his tongue deep into her mouth. Brandy lent his breath a fiery, sweet scent that was both familiar and exotic. Their tongues engaged in a sensual dance until she bumped against the edge of his desk.
He shoved the letters aside then lifted her. She landed on the surface, her backside smarting a little from the impact. She forgot about any momentary discomfort when his fingers stole inside her wrapper and tweaked her nipple. She gasped and pulled back a fraction. Their lips hovered together as they shared a shaky breath.
There were many things she wanted to say to him. You excite me. I love your touch. Your kiss. You.
The words flowed from her, though they remained unspoken. They had to be in her ardent gaze. Her caress.
“Yes,” he whispered and captured her mouth again.
***
Luke’s grip on his control was slippery. He could easily devour Vivian on his desk then have her again and again. On the Aubusson. The settee. Against the wall. He could carry her up to his bed and make love to her there as well.
And yet, he couldn’t.
She was his intended, promised to him but not his. He had been a fool to refuse to honor the betrothal promise. Vivian was everything he never knew he wanted. He should have married her a year ago. But he hadn’t and Vivian would not carry his child before they had pledged their devotion in front of witnesses.
Sliding his hand up her calf, he squeezed the soft flesh below her knee. She had divine legs, firm and well formed. Hitching her knee up, he laid her out on his desk in one swift move. It was possessive and bold, and completely inappropriate for a husband to demand of his wife, but Vivian stared back at him with eyes like mercury. Her chest rose and fell in rapid pants. Her hair fanned out on the oak surface, almost the same warm color as the wood grain.
Vivian would be more than a wife to him. She would become his lover. No, she was his lover.
And she was ready for more. He was the only one holding back.
He eased the hem of her dressing gown up her thighs and pulled her to the edge of the desk. When she had dressed to leave her room, she hadn’t donned drawers.
He hooked his foot around the leg of a chair and dragged it forward. “I wish my business was half as inspiring as you.”
When he sat in the chair, she lifted to her elbows. Her arched brows migrated together.
He grinned. “Trust me.”
She opened her mouth but snapped it shut when he pushed her knees up and gently parted her legs. He placed a kiss on her inner thigh then licked her soft skin. She stiffened, her eyes giant orbs staring at him in alarm.
“Trust me, Vivian. I won’t hurt you.”
“What are you going to do?” she whispered.
He dipped a finger inside her then rubbed it over her swollen flesh. Her eyelids grew heavy as he stroked her, and she rested her head back against the desk.
“That’s better, sweetheart.” He kissed her other thigh and she let go even more, her knees falling out to her sides. “I’m going to taste you, and you will like it.”
As he trailed kisses up her quivering thigh and touched her most intimately, she clenched her legs, cradling his head. He licked her, slowly, languorously. And he did it again. With each pass of his tongue, she melted against the desk.
He cupped her hips and kneaded her pert bottom while his mouth suckled and circled her apex. Her breathy sighs transformed into moans. Her husky voice washed over him and made him even harder. He wanted to feel her hand wrapped around him again. He wanted to teach her how to bring him to completion, but a gentleman would never ask that of his intended.
She writhed on the desk, so close to her climax, but she shocked him by sitting up and gently pushing him away.
“Is something wrong?”
“No.” She caressed his jaw. Her eyes held that curious glint he often saw there. She leaned forward to kiss him tenderly, not releasing his face when she drew back. “I was wondering what you tasted.”
He stifled a groan. “And?”
“It’s different, but not bad.”
“No,” he agreed. “I like it. Shall I continue?”
She shook her head. “Luke, please let me touch you. You can trust me, too.”
Her honeyed lashes fluttered, her hair had tumbled around her shoulders, and she nibbled on her swollen bottom lip. His heart skipped. God, how he adored her. He couldn’t deny her anything she wanted, and he counted himself fortunate that she wanted him.
He nodded reluctantly. “You may do as you wish.”
Lifting her from the desk, he carried her to the settee and sat with her on his lap. She wiggled around until she was on her knees straddling him. She unfastened the front fall of his breeches. Her slender fingers circled and stroked him. He jumped and she jerked her hand back. Her wide eyes were filled with uncertainty.
“It’s all right,” he said then tried to kiss away her worries.
Her moist, warm skin touched him and he swallowed a groan. He wanted to be inside her. He moved against her, sliding along her slick flesh, fighting the urge to plunge deep. Taking her hand, he curled her fingers around him again and moved her hand up and down his length. She allowed him to guide her until she learned the rhythm and hold he preferred then he gave up control.
Every caress erased the day’s worries until all he could think of was her. Her flushed cheeks, parted lips, and seductive gaze held him in a suspended state he never wanted to leave. Yet he wanted her hovering there with him.
He swept his fingers between her thighs, stroking over her hardened pearl. She gasped and stopped moving for several heartbeats. Her breath came out in shallow rasps as he continued to coax her toward completion.
Pressing her hips forward, she made contact with him again. He hissed through clenched teeth. How easy it would be to end this torture and make her his, but he held back. Her hand began its pleasant teasing again, bringing him closer to coming just as he carried her toward her climax. Several more passes of her hand over his flesh and he surrendered. His eyes closed and he arched his back, his release hitting him hard. He moaned softly and laid his head against the seat back.
His fingers still played over her dewy skin. Vivian’s nails penetrated his lawn shirt, holding fast to his shoulder as she too neared her release. She sucked in a sharp breath and held it a second before it burst from her on the most alluring sound. The cries of a woman in ecstasy made even more beautiful because it came from the woman he loved.
As their breathing slowed, he brushed the hair from her eyes and cradled her face between his palms. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind as he gazed into her silver-blue eyes.
How much she meant to him.
How blessed he was to have found her.
How grateful he was that she hadn’t turned away from him when she learned of his weakness.
But the words that formed on his tongue seemed trite. There were no words to express the depth of his feelings for Vivian, so he told her the only way he knew how.
He kissed her again.
10 September 1818
Dear Duchess of Foxhaven,
I had the good fortune of making His Grace’s acquaintance recently in Dunstable. Clearly, he is an honorable gentleman. Despite my close friendship with Lady Ashden, my conscience cannot allow me to hold my tongue when an upstanding member of the nobility is in danger of being duped. It gives me no pleasure to inform you, Madame, that your son’s betrothed is a lady of loose morals. I have personal knowledge of her involvement with a servant once under the employ of Lady Vivian Ashden’s cousin, Lady Brighthurst.
I would be happy to journey to Irvine Castle as a witness to the lady’s immoral behavior and bear testimony. His Grace should not be held to a promise given without sufficient knowledge of his intended’s reprehensible habits. I could set out for Northumberland immediately once your invitation arrives. I am certain we shall get on quite well once we have met.
Your humble servant,
Mrs. Virgil Honeywell