“Fuck,” he muttered again as he ran his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, but he didn’t bother looking at me when he said it.
He stood and walked from the room. I stared after him, wondering if I wasn’t perhaps losing my handle on this—though I wasn’t sure I’d ever had a handle on it to begin with. I heard the bathroom door close and then the shower start moments later. I sighed as I curled up on my side. I definitely didn’t have a handle on this man.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kane
I closed my eyes as the water scoured my skin. Steam filled the air around me, and I inhaled and exhaled deep slow breaths. The ironic thing was, I couldn’t remember a damn thing about the nightmare that had terrified me so much, and yet, I was having a hard time letting the terror go regardless. The feel of it had simply imprinted itself on me.
I picked up Helene’s shampoo, smelling it. It smelled like her hair—of course it did, but it still made my lips pull up. By the time I climbed out of her shower five minutes later, I was clean as a whistle, smelled like Helene from head to foot, and I’d used a loofa for the first time in my entire life. I was also finally calm.
Until I stepped out.
She was sitting naked on the bathroom counter, her legs dangling in front of the vanity. Her palms were planted on the countertop as she lounged there waiting for me, and my heart sped as prickles of warmth settled in my groin. She didn’t have large breasts, but they were so perfectly perky, and her nipples were hard and protruding. I’d always thought large tits were my preference, but it was funny how much you could love something simply because it was part of something else you loved.
She watched me, her face calm. I stepped in front of her, and her eyes moved over my body.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked me quietly.
I looked down at her lap, and when I reached for her knees, I glanced at her eyes. I shook my head, and I pulled her legs apart. Her chest rose as she took a deep breath.
“These are very pretty,” I whispered as I ran the back of my fingers over her nipple.
She gasped as her chest shrank back and her nipples hardened even more.
“So is this,” I said just as quietly when I ran my other hand between her legs. I let my fingers graze gently between her lips, and her thighs trembled.
She watched my eyes when she reached down and pulled my hand away from her body. She closed her legs, never once breaking eye contact with me.
“You’ve been distant since we left my sister’s house earlier today. Then you show up on my doorstep soaked to the bone after walking three miles in the freezing cold rain. You woke me having a nightmare. Moments ago I asked you if you wanted to talk about it, which you politely declined and then rather ineffectively tried to change the subject to sex. And now you want to fuck?” Her behavior was odd as was her expression. She didn’t look the least upset with me. In fact, her expression was serene and calm, almost humored, but there was still a coolness there.
I bit my lip. “Well, when you put it that way, you make me sound unhinged.”
She cocked her head to the side, saying nothing.
“I want to be close to you.” I pushed her knees apart once more, stepping between them so she couldn’t close me out again.
She looked down. “You are close to me.”
I leaned forward, letting my lips nearly touch her ear. “I want to be a part of you,” I whispered.
“You are a part of me,” she whispered back. “You always have been.”
She tilted her head ever so slightly to the side, letting her temple touch mine. An electric shudder of warmth pulsed through me.
“I want to be inside you.” I finally pulled back so I could see her eyes.
She studied me silently, saying nothing at all, and that cool, calm expression of hers continued to toy with me.
I ran my palms up the tops of her thighs, starting at her knees and moving slowly. “Tell me how gentle you want it. Tell me how hard you want it. Do you want it to hurt a little? Tell me you want me to bite your nipples, lick your asshole, stick my finger up it.” I leaned to her ear, whispering, “I will.” And when I pulled back again, her eyes were wide. “Or do you need the control? Do you want to hurt me? Do you need to bite me? Do you want to stick your finger up my ass?” I leaned to her ear again. “I’ll let you,” I said quietly as my lips touched her earlobe. “Just tell me how you want me to give it to you.”