chapter Twenty
Jake’s apartment was only slightly bigger than Ivy’s. It had a bedroom, bath and a combined living-dining-kitchen area that was dominated by a huge flat screen TV. Other than a few family photographs, his walls and surfaces were empty. What furniture he did have tended toward dark colors and the walls were painted a crisp white. He had shades in the windows rather than curtains and a drawer full of plastic cutlery. Definitely a man-pad.
“You like?” Jake stood in front of the leather sofa, his hands on his hips and a knowing grin on his face.
“It’s very masculine,” she said. Clean, uncluttered and with a lot of sharp edges, all of which did a good job of reflecting the man himself. “Is this your sister?”
She picked up a photograph. It was a color head shot and the woman had long blond hair and the same blue-green ocean eyes as Jake.
“Yeah. And those are my nephews.” He walked over to her and tilted the frames so that she could see their impish faces better. “She sends me new pictures every year.”
“How old are they?”
“Ten and seven.”
“They’re cute.” And looked at lot like Jake, with the same coloring and bone structure.
“Come on,” he urged, clasping her hand and giving it a tug. “It gets better in the bedroom.”
“It’s always better in the bedroom,” Ivy agreed, smiling. She followed him willingly. They only had a few minutes before they needed to get on the road, but she wanted to see where Jake lived, how he lived. Which, so far, was very Spartan.
The bedroom was dominated by a large pillow-topped bed that was covered in dark blue—sheets, comforter, even a few accent pillows. She let her fingers trail over the duvet. It was some kind of cotton-silk blend that was incredibly soft against her skin.
In here, the windows were covered with black-out shades, also navy in color—and on the night stand a lava lamp undulated in a lazy, sensuous pattern that she found almost mesmerizing. She commented on it.
“If I have trouble falling asleep, I just stare at it for a few minutes,” he said.
Yes, everything about the room was engineered to induce a pleasant, deep sleep.
“You have a walk-in closet.” Okay, she was a little jealous of that. Her closet was no bigger than a porta-potty.
“You want to know what’s in there?”
She watched him walk toward the double doors, but then he stood in front of them, barring her way.
“Yes,” she decided. Though his uniforms probably filled out much of the space, it was obvious he had hidden some kind of treasure behind those doors. “Do I have to give you the secret password first?”
He shook his head. “There are other ways of persuading me.”
She advanced on him, her sandals clicking against the hard wood floor. “We have a few minutes.” And it had been nearly four days since they’d made love. The physical and emotional distance was beginning to shred her insides. She placed her hands on his chest, rolled to her toes, and then took his mouth in a kiss that made no use of the preliminaries. Her tongue stroked the seam of his lips and he opened, seeking her heat. They clung to each other like that, their tongues tangling, his hands coming up to cradle the cheeks of her ass and hold her against his growing erection.
She broke away. “Vegas,” she reminded him.
They were meeting her sister for dinner at six-thirty. It was twelve-twenty and the drive took five hours. They needed to check into their hotel, freshen up from the drive—
“I only need a few minutes,” he said, nipping at the tendon in her neck.
“A quickie?”
Why did that bother her? A few days ago it had been glorious, but now she didn’t think it would be enough, not after the hours and miles apart. And she needed more from him than that on an emotional level. She had missed him, from the moment he’d awoken from that bad dream. She’d felt them drifting apart then, and after she’d laid bare her feelings and they had fumbled through lunch, she’d known the distance was becoming an issue. She didn’t like being needy. It came too close to the Ivy she’d been at sixteen, looking for love anywhere. But it pained her like nothing else ever had, the thought of losing Jake. She’d fallen in love with him but couldn’t possibly tell him that now. It’d probably push him into volunteering for the next assignment that placed him anywhere else but here.
“What’s wrong?”
She hesitated a moment too long and Jake noticed. He pulled back and stared into her eyes. She couldn’t come up with any vague, innocuous words to string together and she didn’t want to try. It wasn’t her way. All along she’d felt like they were at the same place at the same time. But not now. And she didn’t like being in love alone.
He pushed her hair back from her face. “Ivy?”
“Nothing.” She decided to play it off. It was the safest way to go. She shifted so that his leg came between hers. His hands flexed on her hips, but it was more reaction than intent.
“Don’t do that,” he said. “Don’t hide from me.”
She pressed herself against the hard muscles of his thigh, determined to distract him. Today she’d arrived at his apartment and he had answered the door with that wicked grin on his face and not a single care. But behind his easy manner she’d felt like he was doing exactly that—hiding from her.
“I might need more than a few minutes,” she said, avoiding any deeper discussion.
“Then you’ll get more.”
Jake carried her to the bed. He laid her on the mattress and came down beside her. But it
was already too late. She felt something shift inside her. Maybe it was self-preservation. She was pulling away, trying to disconnect from her feelings.
But for her, there was no way to maintain an emotional distance and still touch Jake. She curled her hands on his shoulders and felt his lips beneath her ear, his hands cup her breasts, his erection grow insistent against her thigh. Her body was slow to respond and Jake noticed that, too. He braced himself on his elbows and cupped her face with his hands.
“What?” he demanded.
“I guess I just don’t feel like having sex right now.”
“You wanted it a few minutes ago.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She pushed at his shoulder so that she could sit up. “I didn’t mean to tease you.” She smoothed down her skirt and adjusted her shirt.
“Are you stressed about Vegas?” he asked. “Is it too soon?”
He sat up beside her and Ivy placed her palm against his cheek and stared into his eyes. “Not for me.”
His frown deepened. “I want to go with you, Ivy,” he said. “Remember? I practically invited myself.”
He had. But she was wondering if he’d come to regret that. “You can change your mind,” she offered.
But he shook his head. “I don’t want to.” He took her hand in his and sought her gaze. “This is about Monday, isn’t it,” he said.
She nodded. “You were right. I shouldn’t have pushed for us to be together so soon. Sex clouds everything.”
“That’s not true. Not for me. I don’t regret anything about being with you. Not the physical. Not the emotional.”
“If we’d waited…Gotten to know each other better…”
“We know each other,” he countered, his voice confident. She watched decision form on his face. “I have something I want to show you.”
He stood and walked toward the closet doors. “I’m not rushing you,” he promised. “If you’re not ready…if you want to wait a few weeks or months…” He turned, his face pensive. “I’ll wait for you, for as long as it takes.”
Ivy stood and moved toward him. She had no idea what could be in the closet. She didn’t doubt that it was important. Just the way Jake was stuttering through his assurances made her think he was guarding the Jewels of the Nile—or his heart. It was connected to them, as a couple, of that she was sure. He mentioned the future and it sounded like a promise. Anticipation made her breath thin. “What is it?”
He opened the doors and stepped aside and Ivy nudged past him so she could take a peek. One side of the closet was packed with uniforms, from dress blues to camouflage, a few dress shirts and slacks hung separately, jeans and t-shirts were neatly folded and stacked in cubbies. The other side of the closet was empty.
She stepped into the space, looked at the shoes lined up on the floor, at the stool tucked into the back of the closet, and was at a loss. What treasure was he hiding in here?
“I don’t see it,” Ivy said.
Jake came up behind her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Space,” he said. “It’s yours. I know you don’t want to leave your apartment by the beach and I don’t blame you. But it won’t fit the both of us. Until we can find something there, I thought we could share.”
Ivy was speechless as thoughts swirled through her head. If they were just talking about living arrangements, she wanted more. But if he was offering everything she’d talked about on Monday, then she was exactly where she wanted to be.
“You know that chance you talked about?” He pushed her hair back with his fingertips and stared into her eyes. “I want it, too.”
Ivy needed clarification. She needed absolutes. “And you’re asking me to move in with you?”
“No,” he said. “I love you, Ivy, and getting a place together is just the first step.”
Ivy’s heart shuddered to a stop between beats and then knocked painfully at her chest.
“What comes after that?”
“Forever.”