I wondered about going to the police with the pictures I had. Would it be enough? If I told them what had happened, would they believe me? Could they protect me? Brian seemed to control every aspect of my life, and there were no public medical records of my injuries. I knew without a doubt that the doctor he took me to was being paid to stay quiet and not keep records when he treated me. The evidence I had before was lost, buried somewhere in the snow on Joshua’s property. Now that my memory was back, I knew my purse had been on the seat beside me before I hit the tree and must have fallen out in the chaos that followed. I wondered if it would ever be found.
I sighed as I felt the tears trickle down my face. Would anyone believe me? My head ached with the magnitude of what I was facing and I shut the shower off, dreading the day and the life that seemed to stretch on endlessly in front of me. Joshua had thought I would resent a life with him because of the limitations he lived with. Yet each day I had with him had contained joy and love. The stark reality now was my life here was a prison; one of coldness and obscurity, where I meant nothing. I may not have remembered my name when I was with Joshua, but I knew who I was and what I meant to him.
Brian wasn’t at breakfast. Mrs. Smith informed me quietly that he had an early meeting and had already left. I nodded. This often happened after he laid his hands on me. I was grateful for the reprieve. Still, I pushed the oatmeal around my bowl with no appetite, and eventually gave up and waited by the front door for Bob to arrive and escort me to the library. Mrs. Smith appeared wordlessly and slipped a granola bar into my pocket and patted my shoulder before walking away. My eyes followed her gratefully. Although she had always remained reserved, unlike the rest of the staff, she endeavored to be kind to me in small ways.
When I got to the library I forced myself to stay at my desk. There was no point calling the number. I didn’t even open a search engine to try and find a link to Joshua. I spent most of the morning working with Kate, planning the next fundraiser for the literacy program. More than once, she asked if I was okay and I smiled and brushed off her concerns.
Just after lunch, my eyes were heavy and tired and I knew I needed a coffee to make it through the rest of the day. Leaning forward, I picked up the mug my favourite little reader had given me, and stopped short as I noticed a small fuzzy object in the bottom. Curious, I turned the mug over and instantly my eyes filled with tears. A tiny, furry, stuffed rabbit, no bigger than a golf ball, sat in the palm of my hand. And, attached to the soft bundle, a small, blank white card. It was identical to the first card Joshua had given me. My heart began pounding and I looked around wondering how it had gotten there. I stood up on trembling legs and walked down to the staff lounge, the items safely in my pocket, my mug hanging loosely from my fingers. Bob remained seated at the other end of the hall. He barely even glanced my way. We both knew there was nowhere else I could go.
Two of the librarians were sitting quietly in the lounge, discussing something, but they were the only other people there. I walked to the bathroom, shut the door and stood in front of the sink. I reached in my pocket with trembling fingers and pulled out the small blank card and rabbit. My hands were shaking as I turned on the faucet and soaked the card, holding tightly to the furry rabbit. I set it on the edge of the sink, watching as Joshua’s writing appeared.
I heard you. It’s time to come home.
Be careful. Eyes.
Hospital. Tomorrow. 1 p.m.
~J
I sank to the floor, unheeded tears streaming down my face. He hadn’t deserted me. He still loved me.
Joshua was sending someone for me. Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I was going home.
I just had to make it through one more day.
I closed my eyes, praying I could do it.
I made it back to my desk, looking calmer than I was feeling. I even remembered to take the coffee with me. My mind raced with the implications.
Somehow, Joshua knew I went to the hospital on Tuesdays. He knew I was being watched.
He hadn’t left me alone.
Would it be Cecilia? Trevor? Someone else? How would they find me? I drew in a deep breath. I needed to trust Joshua and just allow things to happen. Obviously, he had something planned. I couldn’t mess it up.
I looked around. I wouldn’t be returning here ever again. Casually, I got up and pulled down a few of the drawings and moved a few things around. Kate appeared in my door. “Tidying up?”
I nodded. “It’s a little cluttered in here.”
She laughed. “You always do this, you know. Tidy it up and then three weeks later it’s just as messy. You can’t bear to part with any of your drawings.”
I smiled because she was right. “At least I try.”
“I have a meeting outside. See you Thursday,” she laughed.
My breath caught as I smiled back, lying to her. “See you then.”