Lizzy.
Lizzy suited her far more than the formal Elizabeth.
Frank continued. “When she moved to Toronto, Lizzy got in contact with her again and they saw each other quite a bit. Until she started dating Brian. Lizzy came to her not long after she was married and asked if she would accept ownership of the car. Apparently, the car didn’t fit the image she was supposed to project and Brian insisted she get rid of it. But it had been her mother’s and it held sentimental value to her. Tracy suspected there were other reasons as well for Lizzy wanting to know where the car was and agreed to the transfer. She drove the car occasionally to make sure it ran well and kept it full of gas. She also gave Lizzy the passcode to the garage where it was parked and left a spare set of keys in it at all times.
“Why?”
“She had a bad feeling. She said she met Brian James once and disliked him intensely. ‘A wolf in sheep’s clothing’ she called him. She was hardly surprised when she wasn’t invited to the wedding. She was shocked at the difference in Lizzy’s appearance and demeanor when she saw her shortly after her marriage.” Frank paused, his fingers drumming on the file in front of him.
“She never seemed to be able to get together with Lizzy anymore. There was always an excuse. Lizzy insisted she was just very busy with her new life, but Tracy didn’t buy it. She was sure Brian had forbidden Lizzy to see her any longer.” He looked at me. “The last time she saw Lizzy, she didn’t like the explanation for the cast on her arm, and she called her on it. After that, their only communication was the occasional email. But Tracy never stopped letting her know her car was there, waiting, if she needed it. That she was there if she ever needed her.”
I stood up so abruptly my chair flew back, hitting the floor loudly. I strode over to the sink, trying to remain calm. I could feel the clenching of my chest as the implications of what he said sank in. The first picture in the book was of her arm in a cast. Now I knew how long it had been going on. I looked down trying to concentrate on keeping my breathing even and I saw my hands were clenched so tightly on the edge of the sink that my knuckles were white.
Cecilia came up behind me. “Joshua?” Her hand squeezed my shoulder. “What is it?”
I spun around. “She’s been abused for almost two years. She’s been frightened for two years, Cecilia. And, I sent her back there. I sent her back to that.” Angrily, I pushed the small journal over to Cecilia.
She opened it and gasped. Trevor came to her side instantly, and I heard their murmured words of disbelief at what they were seeing. Cecilia set the book back down on the counter. When she spoke, her voice was shaking.
“You did what you thought was right, Joshua. You didn’t know. None of us did.” She drew in a quivering breath. “We were all wrong, Joshua.”
I exploded.
“But it was my decision! It wasn’t right! It was never right! In my gut, I knew that! I did it for all the wrong reasons. Because I was stupid! I actually let myself believe his story. I actually assumed that because I love her like I do, that someone else must as well.” I paused, looking at Cecilia, my voice dropping.
“I sent her away because I was trying to protect myself.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I thought it would be easier for her to leave on my terms rather than have her wake up three months from now and remember her other life and have to let her go then. I always assumed I would have to give her up eventually. I never had the faith in us that she did.”
“But it wasn’t easier, was it?” Cecilia asked softly. “Because you love her.”
I sighed. “So much, Cecilia.” I looked at her and shook my head. “And no, it wasn’t any fucking easier. And, now I’ve put her in danger. I’m terrified it will be too late to get her out of there.”
I lowered my head. “This is all on me, Cecilia.”
Frank stood up. “Stop thinking like that. Get your ass back over here, Joshua. We need to figure out how to get her out of danger. How to get her back here where she belongs.”
I looked over at Frank and straightened my shoulders.
He was right.
I needed to do this.
The house was quiet. Everyone had crashed for the night. I sat gazing into the fire, Bear beside me; his huge head nestled against my leg. I didn’t even bother trying to go to bed. My mind was too chaotic.