“Don’t you get … lonely, Joshua?”
I sat back down and picked up her hand. “I do, occasionally. Really though, I was never much of a social person, Rabbit. I was always a loner. Even my chosen vocation, before this happened was done alone for the most part. And, really, when things are up and running around here, I see and talk to people all day on the computer. I talk with my publishers, editor, Cecilia, other people. I write and edit. Occasionally, a friend comes to visit. Cecilia is still here every couple of weeks. At night I read, listen to music, watch TV, sometimes play a game on the computer; do what most people do with their downtime. I just don’t leave my property. This is my life, Rabbit. I’ve come to accept it and I’m okay with it … most of the time.”
For a few minutes, there was silence. Her voice was husky when she spoke up again. “Do you have any family?”
“No. I was an only child. My parents died when I was in university. There’s … just me.”
“Ah,” was her quiet reply.
She stood up suddenly, causing Bear to huff in displeasure at being disturbed. “I’ll be right back,” she murmured, as she left the room. I looked down at Bear, who was staring directly at me.
“She’s not going to the bathroom is she, boy?” I asked. His great head shook as he snorted at me before jumping down and moving closer to the fire.
I got up and followed Rabbit. As I suspected, she was in the bedroom, standing in the dark, crying. I pulled her into my arms. “Don’t, Rabbit. Don’t feel sorry for me. Please.”
She shook her head against my chest. “I don’t. I just … I can’t stand the thought of you alone. I’m sorry about your parents. About losing Maggie. For what those bastards took away from you.”
Stunned, I held her closely, rocking us. Her simple words sank in. She didn’t start to lecture me on trying to overcome my phobia again. She didn’t tell me to try harder. She just offered me her quiet comfort and acceptance. She could no more stand the thought of my being alone as I could the thought of someone hurting her.
I sighed.
We were both in over our heads.
But neither of us was willing to stop.
Chapter Fourteen
Joshua
“This won’t work if you don’t relax, Joshua.”
“I’m trying, Rabbit. It’s just … not working.”
“It worked before. You enjoyed it, in fact. You groaned … loudly.”
I sighed. “I know, Rabbit, but it was different then.”
“Different? How?”
“I didn’t really … know you as well.”
Rabbit’s hands stilled. “So ‘knowing’ me more means you can’t relax and let me massage your leg?”
I shifted a little in the deep water. “‘Knowing’ you makes me, ah, keep thinking of somewhere else I would rather your hands … massage me. It’s hard to, um, relax.”
Rabbit looked down, her cheeks pink. I watched her bite her lip and then glance up at me from under her lashes. I held my breath as she leaned in closer to my face, her hands slowly drifting higher on my leg. “Are you saying you’re aching elsewhere, Joshua?” she breathed softly into my ear. “That there is somewhere else you’d rather my hands … stroke?”
My head fell backwards at the huskiness of her voice. I felt her lips gently caressing my earlobe and her hands gradually, painfully slowly, inched their way to my now rigid, throbbing cock. A growl escaped my lips as her hands finally reached their destination and wrapped around me.
“Here, Joshua? Is this where your ache is?” she whispered, her hands moving and stroking in the hot water.
“Fuck. Yes. Right there, Rabbit … just like that … yes …” I moaned.
Her lips made their way over from my ear, her tongue sweetly dancing along my lips. Groaning, I pulled her mouth to mine, winding my hand in her hair, holding her closely as our tongues stroked and tasted each other. Her hands continued to play with me, stroking, teasing, fondling, as the moans in the back of my throat grew louder. She pulled back from my lips, watching me. She leaned forward again, whispering in my ear again. “Is this how you handled your aches on your own, Joshua? With your hand?”