I was surprisingly relaxed as Adam and I walked along, discussing some of the changes I saw in the buildings and skyline. Having his large presence beside me, as well as the fact that the sun was still out, no doubt helped me stay focused. It wasn’t until we stopped at a light and I looked down the street, realizing where I was, that I stopped and stiffened.
“Joshua?”
I shook my head wordlessly, my chest tight as I stared down the block. I glanced at Adam who was watching me warily and, before my determination could falter, I began walking. I knew Adam was behind me. I knew daylight lingered. I knew I was safe. Yet my heart beat rapidly and my stomach clenched as I stopped at the entrance to an alley and stood silently, my muscles coiled and tense, my breathing rapid.
“Is this where you were attacked, Joshua?” Adam’s voice was low and calm.
I nodded.
“You lived around here?”
I swallowed deeply. “The complex is two blocks farther down.” My voice was shaky. “I was so close to home. Five minutes either way and they probably would have been in another alley.”
“Attacking someone else.”
My head snapped in his direction. “I never thought of that.”
He shrugged. “Makes sense. They were so high; they were going to attack someone until they got what they wanted.”
“I always wondered if they would have beaten me so badly if I had more money on me. If they had gotten what they wanted.”
“From the reports I read, Joshua, they were half out of their minds. I think you were in for a world of pain no matter what.”
I was silent. I took in a deep breath and took a few steps forward. The alley itself was the same as any other alley I had seen. A few garbage bins against the walls, some graffiti spray painted on the concrete, a car parked farther down by the back entrance of some business. Nothing that screamed danger or warned you to be frightened. Every step forward had my breath coming out in sharper gasps and my stomach clenching, but I kept moving forward until I was there. The spot I remember being dragged to before my world exploded in a haze of pain and blood.
I stood there, utterly still as I looked around. I could feel my hands clenching in the effort to stay there. Every part of me wanted to run back out of the alley and not stop until I reached the safety of Rabbit’s arms. The sudden longing to be home with the babies and her filled me and I felt a shudder run through me. This had been a bad idea. Adam’s voice startled me.
“I’m amazed you’re able to do this, Joshua.”
I shook my head sadly. “I’m fucking terrified right now, Adam.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re still fucking doing it.”
I looked at him wearily.
“You are. What happened here changed your life irrevocably. Not everyone would be able to stand where you are right now, Joshua. And you are. You’re standing. You’re living. You fucking overcame what happened and you’re here. You’re okay. That, in my books, is fucking amazing. You should be so proud of yourself.” He shook his head. “Lizzy is going to be. At least, she will be once she finishes kicking my ass for letting you do this without her knowing.”
I had to chuckle at his last statement.
“You have a great life, Joshua. Success, friends. Children. And your Rabbit.”
I looked at him and nodded.
“Especially Rabbit.”
He smiled. “Are you ready to go and see her now?”
I looked around the alley and sighed shakily in relief. Adam was right. I had overcome what happened here. Now I could put it in the past and move forward.
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m ready to go. I need her now.”
He clapped me on the shoulder. “No doubt she is ready for you as well. Big afternoon for both of you, I’d say.” He smiled. “Tonight is a night to celebrate, my friend.”
I nodded and followed him out of the alley.
I didn’t look back.
I walked into the hotel suite, calling Rabbit’s name. I heard her muffled voice and followed it, smiling as I saw a large pile of bags in the bedroom and finding her up to her neck in bubbles in the deep bathtub in the en-suite. Greedily, my eyes drank her in as she smiled gently at me from the tub.
“I missed you,” she murmured. She held out her dripping hand and I moved forward to take it, leaning down to drop a kiss on her forehead. The feeling of home flooded through me the instant I touched her and I felt immense relief at being back with her.
“It’s not the hot tub, but it’s pretty big. Want to join me?”
I grinned as I hastily removed my clothes. I didn’t want big right now; I wanted to be as close to her as I could be. She moved forward and I slipped in behind her, pulling her tight against my chest and wrapping my arms around her. I sighed deeply and rested my chin on her shoulder; breathing in her warm scent, I felt myself relax with her closeness. The room as quiet for a few minutes as we both just rejoiced in the sweetness of being together.