"If I'm not under arrest, I'm free to go."
Jed's radio squawked, and he picked it up suddenly, turning up the volume to listen. "Engines en route to County Road Twelve. Reports of heavy smoke from a structure fire. EMS dispatched. Fire department is fifteen minutes out."
My stomach lurched, my head spinning so much that I could barely hear every other word. I didn't even need to hear the address. I knew where it was. I knew what was happening.
When Jed looked up at me, his face was pale, no longer colored by his hatred of me. "It's your dad's ranch," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"What have you done?" I asked.
What had I done?
It's all my fault.
Just a structure fire, I told myself. Just the barn.
The problem was, I knew it wasn't.
"You can ride with me," Jed said.
"Crunch," I croaked out as we headed to the door.
He shook his head. "He and the kid stay."
June
The second I saw the smoke rising from Stan's ranch, I made the 911 call, my hands trembling. Stan's barn was on fire, I could see it clear as day.
The horses.
Stan and April.
They were okay, I reassured myself. They were inside, cooking. Not in the barn. Stan had plenty of experience with fires. A barn fire wasn't that unusual, not out here.
The horses.
I rode, my heart racing, digging into the horse's flanks, urging her on as fast as I could get her to gallop.
Everything would be fine.
It had to be.
Axe
Fear clung to me, a vise grip on my heart so tight I could barely breathe. Jed raced along the back country roads, hugging the turns and driving like his life depended on it, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. He tried to say something to me, but I couldn't hear him. All I could think about was them.
June, my dad, April.
If anything happened to them...
Jed pulled in the driveway, two police cruisers and an ambulance blocking the front of the entry. The barn was consumed by fire, and the local volunteer firefighters were trying to contain it.
I couldn't see behind the vehicles to the house.
I heard Jed call to me, but everything was on mute, soundless as I squeezed through the handful of medical personnel and cops near the vehicles. The air smelled acrid, smoke from the barn still billowing up behind the house, but I could barely hear the crackle of the flames and the rushing sound of the fire.
Someone put a hand on my chest, tried to push me back from the house. "You can't go in there, sir."
"It's my father's fucking house." I pried his hand off my chest. "Move out of my fucking way."
Jed's hand was on my back. "Cade, don't," he said.
"Don't fucking touch me," I said. Then, yelled. "Get the fuck off me."
And suddenly, June was there, in the doorway, running toward me.
Covered in blood.
Blood on her hands, splotched on her tee-shirt like some macabre design, stark against the white fabric. She stood in front of me, inches away, her eyes red.
"June." I touched my hand to her hair, and pulled it back.
Blood on my fingertips.
I don't understand.
"Cade," she said, her voice choking.
"Are you hurt? You're hurt. What happened?"
"Cade." She put her hand to my chest, and shook her head. "Not me."
I looked behind her, at the EMTs, who weren't rushing to take anyone to the emergency room. At the medical personnel seemed to have stopped in their tracks, looking at me, then down at the ground.
No.
This is not happening.
"No," I said.
"Cade." June shook her head, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. "I tried. I tried to save them, but I couldn't. There was nothing I could do."
No.
I couldn't hear anything except the blood rushing in my ears. It drowned out everything, leaving my head swimming. I stepped around June, and felt her catch my arm.
"Don't go in there, Cade," she said. "Don't."
I yanked my hand away, and heard her scream at Jed. "Stop him. For fuck's sake, don't let him go in there."
I had to go inside.
I needed to see it for myself.
Inside the doorway, I stopped short. April was in the kitchen, her body still, eyes open. Her face looked calm, peaceful even. Not like the rest of her body.
I heard one of the medics beside me. "Gunshot wound to the chest," he said. "She would have died quickly."
I couldn't look in the other room. I knew what was waiting for me there. I didn't want to face it. "Did she-" I swallowed hard. I couldn't look below her waist. I didn't want to know what those animals had done to her. "Was she -?"
"We don't know anything yet." One of the medical personnel - or was it crime scene investigation? Someone in a jumpsuit, with lettering that blurred in my eyes, stood beside me. "It's best if you wait outside."
"Where - " My voice faltered. "No. I'm not leaving. Where's my Dad's - " I couldn't bring myself to say the word.
"Cade," June said. "It's not good." She put her hand on my arm.