I wondered when Cade had finally given up on this place.
Back when I was in high school, I never thought I'd leave West Bend. I believed I would stay here forever, that I would grow old in this place. Back then, I thought Cade and I were it. We would be forever. It was a naive idea, blissful teenage unawareness of what the future would hold.
I never anticipated what would happen to my family.
Cade and I belonged together back then. I didn't have eyes for anyone else and neither did he. But how could we? We'd been raised together, in the same church, the same school, same summer camp. It was inevitable we would fall in love.
It was small town love and that was it. Nothing more. We were simply a relationship of proximity.
Cade wasn't the same as the boy I knew. And even if I kept seeing glimpses of that boy, I was mistaken. I had to be.
He was an outlaw now, a criminal. Nothing more.
And anyway, there was Jed. Blue-eyed, blonde haired, All-American appropriate Jed. The cop. A law-abiding, productive member of society.
Not a thug in a leather jacket, tattoos so dense on his arms you could barely see his skin underneath the tangle of inked pictures.
Of course, Jed was not the guy who made me shiver when he stood next to me.
He wasn't the guy whose clothes I wanted to tear off. The guy I wanted to lick every inch of.
But this was what I wanted, wasn't it? A return to a quiet, normal life. And what the hell could be more quiet or normal than running a bed and breakfast in West Bend, and dating the town sheriff?
Anyway, it was just coffee. Not even a date.
I needed to get Cade and Jed out of my head.
I slid out of bed, letting the shower water run while I brushed my teeth. I stepped inside and yelped, scrambling out as quickly as I could. Ice cold.
I let it run for a while. Still cold.
Damn water heater. It was supposed to be fixed when I moved in.
As I threw on clothes, I ran through the options. Having someone come out on a Saturday to take a look at it wasn't going to work.
I could go ask Stan for help.
Or Cade.
No, Cade was the last person I needed to come over here.
When I walked over to Stan's house, MacKenzie was already playing outside, running her little metal cars around in the dirt driveway while April watched her from the porch. “Hi, June!” she said brightly, looking up at me briefly before busying herself with her toys.
“Hey, MacKenzie,” I said.
April stood on the front porch and waved me toward her. “June,” she said. “How are you?”
“Cold. My water heater is on the fritz, I think. I almost took an ice shower,” I said.
“You should have come over here,” April said. “I’m sure no one would have minded."
“Oh, no,” I said. “I wouldn’t want to impose.” Or run into Cade while I was over here, showering. “Is Stan home? Unless you know something about water heaters…”
April shook her head and smiled. “Not at all,” she said. “But Stan’s inside.”
Stan sat at the front table, reading the paper, and peered over the edge at me as I walked inside the kitchen. “Morning, June,” he said. “What brings you over here? I don’t suppose it’s the coffee, is it?”
"Not at all," I said. "I’m actually here to see if you know anything about water heaters. Mine went out this morning.”
“Well, now, that I can help you with,” Stan said. “This old man is still good for something. Give me an hour or so and I’ll come by.”
“Thanks, Stan,” I said. I walked back home, having a hard time deciphering the feeling I had as I walked away. I felt disappointed, but at what, I wasn’t sure. Not seeing Cade? I needed to get past that shit.
An hour later on the dot, Stan showed up, tool belt in hand. “Alright, June,” he said. “Let’s have a look. I showed him to the garage, and sat on the step while he began to work. He tinkered around for a while, and I made idle chit-chat with him while he worked, until he proclaimed it fixed. Afterward, we sat at my kitchen table, drinking coffee.
"I'm glad you came back here, June," he said. "Glad you moved into this old place. It needed someone like you here to breathe new life into it."
"Thanks, Stan," I said. "It's nice settling in here. It's been a long time since I felt settled." Since before my parents died.
"Now, if only you could talk Cade into coming back home."
“Oh, I don’t think my words wield any sort of influence over Cade anymore, Stan.”
He was quiet. “I think you still have more influence over him than you know, June. You always have.”
"That's not true, Stan," I said. "I think Cade does what he wants." And he certainly doesn't have any special regard for what I think.
"This is entirely me speaking out of turn here," Stan said. "But I watched my son carry a torch for you long after you left. I think he joined the Marines to get away from memories."
Memories of me, he meant.