In the Market for Love

chapter seven



Rachel had never known a man who made her feel the way Jake did.

A tingle shot up her spine as she remembered the way he’d kissed her in the boardroom, the way he’d pushed her to the edge.

It had been dangerous.

And she wanted to go there again.

It was only natural that kiss should come to mind since the agency offices were only a few floors above her. Rachel’s boss had asked her to hand deliver some important documents to their company lawyers who were in the same building as Agency 66.

The agency had revised one of their concepts for the campaign and it was waiting to be collected. She was already in the building. It made sense for her to collect it now.

She handed over the legal documents, closed the door behind her and ambled towards the landing with two banks of elevator doors on either side. Reaching for the lift button, her fingers trembled as they hovered over it.

It was as though the hand wasn’t hers. It belonged to someone else.

Up or down? Up to the agency? Or down to exit the building?

Jake had stopped by her office unannounced. He hadn’t cared if she were busy or unavailable. He hadn’t thought it brash or rude. And it wasn’t. They were colleagues. And now they were something more. Surely she could be equally assertive.

“Up or down?” she asked herself softly, surprised to hear the words come out loud.

“Down please.” A deep male voice came from behind her.

Rachel spun her head around to see a tall man in a business suit. Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t even heard the shuffle of his footsteps on the marble floor.

“Certainly,” she said.

This time there was no hesitation, no tentativeness. She hit the button.

“I’m going up,” she added.

She arched her neck upwards and the recollection of the dizzying height to which Jake had taken her came flooding back to her again. She was going all the way to the top.

* * *

“Why did you come here today?” Jake asked, incensed that Bianca dared visit him at the agency over some petty matter.

She flung her pale hair behind her shoulders. She was the mother of his child. That was the only reason she was still part of his life.

“I had some time after I finished at the hairdresser,” she said.

When she and Jake first met, her hair had been light brown, streaked a gentle honey blonde by the sun. Now it was chemically bleached and straightened. Stripped of all colour, it hung brittle and lifeless down her back.

It struck Jake that their relationship was equally drained of its lustre. There wasn’t much left between them and the little which remained was increasingly hard work. And extremely fragile.

No wonder he’d never given her his grandmother’s engagement ring. Perhaps he’d known even then that things wouldn’t work out between them, though he hadn’t wanted to face it at the time.

Bianca leaned over his desk to admire a photo of Connor. Jake looked away. He didn’t need to see her breasts hanging out of a particularly revealing red top. Since a breast enhancement three years ago, she was continually putting her chest on display with skimpy clothing. Very little of her was natural any more.

She flitted quickly past the pin-up board covered with Connor’s drawings and stopped to pay homage to the spectacular views from Jake’s office. The hint of a contemptuous sneer on her face, she glanced around the rest of the room as though it was in need of severe maintenance.

Seeing Bianca standing in his office, it struck Jake that she simply didn’t fit into his world. Her main concerns seemed to be with appearances, shopping and lunch dates. She had no idea what it was like to work and run a business. What’s more, she was completely devoid of any sense that she might be out of place.

“I asked you why you came,” he said.

Her lips curled to a smug smile. “Because we’ve got some business to discuss.”

Both of them knew exactly why she’d come to Jake’s office. The same reason she phoned him at work. Because it riled him.

“Fine,” he said. “Let’s get on with it then.”

“It’s about that trip to Italy you suggested.”

He opened his mouth to argue but thought better of it. “Go on.”

“I think it’s an excellent idea. A month away will do me good.”

Jake nodded, refusing to speak. He knew Bianca had something else to say and he wasn’t going to make it easy for her.

She sauntered over to his desk and ran her fingers along the edge of the mahogany. “I’ve booked already. I’ll be leaving in a few weeks. So I’ll be away over the school holidays. You’ll have to take of Connor.”

Always putting her needs and desires ahead of those of her child. This was typical of her.

Jake’s mind spun into overdrive as he thought of the projects he was managing, who he could delegate them to and meetings that would need to be rescheduled. One thing was for certain. He wasn’t prepared to let his son have two dreary weeks at home with the nanny because his mother had abandoned him.

He raked a hand through his hair. “Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? Any idea how hard it is to juggle everything at work at such short notice. I’ve got an advertising agency to run, you know.”

Lips pursed, she held his gaze. “You know, you’ve seemed different lately. Like you’ve had something big on your mind. But if your business is more important to you than your son–”

“For crying out loud, woman. You’re the one flitting off to Italy, not me.”

“I can always stay here if you don’t want me to go.”

“Go, go!” Jake exploded. “I want you to go.”

Fine. She could go away for a month and spend as much money as she wanted. He’d be glad to be rid of her.

* * *

Rachel stepped out of the lift, pushed open the agency’s heavy glass door and strode to the reception desk where she asked for Jake only to be told he was with someone at the moment.

“Please take a seat,” the receptionist said. “I’ll phone through and see if he’ll be free soon.”

Just then Marcus appeared, a friendly smile washing over his face as soon as he recognised her. “You must be after Jake?”

Rachel nodded.

“Don’t worry about it, Anne,” Marcus said to the receptionist. “Jake’s visitor is on the way out. I’ll show Rachel through.”

“Thanks,” she said.

* * *

“Jake darling, I don’t know why you don’t take one of the bigger offices.” Bianca’s voice sailed over her shoulder as she ambled out of his office door. “The harbour view is excellent but this office really doesn’t do you justice.”

She and Jake had had this conversation many times before. He owned the agency yet he hadn’t chosen the largest, most prestigious office for himself and no matter how many times he tried to explain, she’d never understand.

Bianca waved her hand vaguely in the direction of the two larger offices down the hallway but she was already on her way out. She didn’t want a reply.

Then he saw her.

Rachel.

Being led down the hallway by Marcus.

With Bianca heading towards them.

Jake stood still, unable to stir, as the world around him moved slowly.

Bianca crept gradually towards Rachel. Marcus stopped, as if sensing something might be amiss. And Rachel, uncorrupted and pure, was gliding towards disaster with innocent grace.

Jake watched as if it were happening in slow motion. It was as though a baseball bat were being swung into a window and he was too slow, too far away to stop it.

All he could do was watch and wait for the glass to shatter.

* * *

The vision of Jake, darkly handsome as he stood in his office doorway, brought a smile to Rachel’s lips.

He cupped his chin in one hand, his expression intense. He looked a bit ruffled this afternoon which was unusual but the slightly tousled hair and gentle frown made him more handsome. The imperfections, if you could call them that, only highlighted his good looks.

Suddenly a bright halo of long blond hair took Rachel’s attention as a voluptuous woman strutted past. She was a striking figure with her blouse gaping as she thrust her chest out. Rachel looked away, embarrassed to find herself staring at another woman’s breasts.

Behind her, Marcus’ voice took her attention and she turned, thinking he was saying goodbye to her. Instead he’d linked arms with the blond woman as he led her away.

Rachel shrugged. She hadn’t come here to see Marcus, after all.

She bounded towards Jake.

* * *

Jake ushered Rachel into his office. Down the hallway, he saw Bianca leave and Marcus slip into his own office.

It was a miracle. Rachel and Bianca had slid past each other as though magnetic forces of repulsion kept them apart. If Rachel had arrived two minutes earlier, he didn’t know what he would have done. Bianca and Rachel in the same room. He shuddered at the thought. That was never meant to be.

His relief was immeasurable but short lived. He had to tell her. Now. He should never have let it get this far.

He closed his office door, something he never did. His door was quite literally always open to his staff. Today he needed privacy.

Rachel tossed her dark hair behind her shoulders, looked around, then turned to face him. “You have a lovely office.”

Floor to ceiling windows looked out onto the harbour. Inside, an enormous abstract painting hung on one wall. The pin-up board showing off Connor’s colourful drawings sat on the other side.

The wall behind Jake’s desk was clear glass and looked out onto the surrounding offices and an open plan work area.

“Oh, I get it,” she said. “This is like the central hub, the heart of the agency. You can look out at what’s happening and you’re in the middle of things so your staff all know you’re here.”

Instinctively, she had understood. He’d been married to Bianca for years and she never got it. Never understood why he didn’t make a statement of his position as owner of the agency and stake out the biggest office. She couldn’t see that he simply didn’t need to.

He reached across and pulled the cedar venetian blinds closed across the window so others couldn’t look in.

Rachel perched her bottom gracefully on the edge of his desk and pushed her shoulders back. “Now why would you think you need some privacy?”

With an almost desperate desire to kiss her came a thick pain in his chest. As much as he wanted to be alone with her, it wasn’t for the reason she believed.

She pointed to one wall. “That painting’s an original, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but so are those.” Jake nodded towards the pin-up board filled with Connor’s artwork. “The interior designer chose the abstract and I chose the drawings.”

“Well, you are full of surprises.”

Another pang shot through Jake’s chest. He didn’t want to give her any more surprises but he had to.

“Before we do anything else,” she said, “I dropped by to pick up the revised concepts. I know I should have called first.”

He placed a large cardboard file upright beside her, then leaned on the desk and slipped a hand on shoulder. “Why don’t you take a seat.”

Without reneging her position, she looked up at him through thick lashes. “Maybe I don’t want to. Maybe I like being this close to you. Or are you afraid? What was it you said to me the other day? Are you afraid I might try to kiss you again?”

“Ah, you’re using my own words against me.”

He longed to play this little game with her, longed to enjoy this exquisite sensual appetiser but he couldn’t. Rachel had come to his office to tell him in her own way that she was ready for him. She was tempting him to kiss her, her arms sprawled provocatively across his desk, her chest proud.

And he ached to have her. To hold her in his arms. She was like no other woman he had known.

It was time.

“I’m glad you came by,” he said. “There’s something I want to tell you. Something you need to know about me. This isn’t the ideal place to talk about this but there’s not much I can do about that.”

He paused, gathering the words in his head. At that moment there was a loud knock on the door and they heard the voice of Emma, his personal assistant, from the other side.

“Jake, it’s me. Can I come in?”

He stepped towards the door and pulled it open.

“Sorry to disturb you like this but we need you right now,” Emma said. “The execs for the hardware campaign are going to withdraw if we don’t do something quick. They’re in the board room.”

His mouth fell open. He couldn’t believe it. “Now?”

Emma glanced apologetically at Rachel, then back at Jake. “I wouldn’t interrupt if it wasn’t urgent.”

“That’s fine.” Rachel reached over for the concepts folder. “I should probably get going.”

“No, it’s not fine,” he said. “How bad is it?”

“Bad,” Emma replied. “It’s make or break time.”

Rachel stepped towards Jake and the door. “It’s okay. I can catch you another time.”

“Tonight,” he said. “I have to see you tonight. There’s something I have to tell you and it can’t wait. I’ll call you. Look, I can at least see you out.”

“No need.” Rachel headed for the door.

Emma bounded down the hallway towards the boardroom with Jake behind her while Rachel ambled down the hallway well behind them, the oversized folder tucked under her arm.

* * *

“Rachel,” Marcus called out as she passed his door. “You can’t go without saying goodbye.”

She smiled as he ushered her into his office. Proud of his achievements, it wasn’t surprising that he had an office with harbour views which he would, of course, wish to show off.

“Look, I’m sorry if you hadn’t met Bianca before,” he said. “I saw she was leaving Jake’s office but I thought she’d be well and truly gone by the time you got there. I hope I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Rachel raised her eyebrows. “Sorry?”

“That was Bianca we passed in the hallway. The blond woman.”

She had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. “You’ve lost me. Bianca?”

“The woman in the hallway. That was Jake’s wife. I’m sorry if that whole thing was a bit uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure what was going on.”

Jake’s wife.

The words sucked the air from her lungs, crushed her chest, drew the life out of her. Her stomach tightened into a knot.

Marcus continued to prattle away but Rachel wasn’t there any more. She had the bizarre sensation that she was hovering above, looking down at the two of them. The harbour view was a hazy, ethereal backdrop in the distance.

Marcus’ voice was a buzz of white noise in the background and she couldn’t make sense of the words. She didn’t want to hear them.

Though still winded, she took deep breaths to revive herself. She’d been floating outside her body but now as she slowly regained her composure, her emotions returned, each one a dagger inside her.

For a moment she wanted to storm into the boardroom and drag Jake out, strike him down, hurt him like he’d hurt her, make him suffer. She wanted to be angry, to have someone to aim her fury at but in truth it wasn’t anger she felt.

Despair and loneliness felt different from that.

There was no one to lash out at. The Jake Austin she thought she knew had disappeared. He had no integrity. He wasn’t the man she thought he was.

She’d felt this pain before, this same sense of hopelessness, but had structured her life so carefully since then to protect herself from it ever happening again. Her life was so safe, her priorities clear, her emotions secured against this kind of pain. Or they had been until now.

It kept coming back to her.

How could she have let this happen again?

Wasn’t once enough?

Marcus was still prattling on about heaven knows what. She heard him say something about the view.

“Yes, it’s a lovely office, but I’ve got to get going.” She turned to leave, then paused at the door. “I thought Jake was separated.”

He shrugged. “As far as I know, they still live together. Bianca pops in from time to time. Everyone here knows her.”

His words reverberated in her head. They still live together. She wondered in what sense of the word Jake thought he was ‘separated’ if he still lived with his wife. They were very much married if his wife was in the habit of visiting him at work, yet he had the audacity to pursue another relationship.

Where did that leave her? The other woman. A husband stealer. Someone willing to break up a family. And Jake clearly thought she’d have an affair with a married man.

“Bianca,” she said. “Such a pretty name.”

There was once last chance at redemption. Rachel quickly said goodbye. The concepts folder still tucked under her arm, she insisted to Marcus that she’d see herself out.

Everybody here knows her, he’d said. Rachel strode past the front reception desk, then stopped. She wasn’t sure she could do this. There was one last chance and if she spoke to the receptionist this could all be cleared up quickly.

“Excuse me,” Rachel said. “I bumped into Jake’s wife in the hallway but I can’t remember her name.”

“Bianca,” the receptionist said.

“So they’re married?”

The young woman nodded.

It was over.

But not the way Rachel had hoped.