“Okay, stand up. I want to give you a hug.”
We both get up onto our feet, and I hug her tight.
“Thank you,” she says. “I really needed a friend.”
“Me too, Grace. Me too.”
A monitor survived the attack.
Cole finishes washing his face, and I take a turn at the sink. We haven’t said much to one another since discovering the monitor. The tension between us is thick and heavy. We move around like strangers, only speaking in please and thank yous.
My head’s going to explode from all the secrets and information stored inside. I smooth my hair and tuck curls behind my ears. Staying alive, scavenging for food, and running is all I know. I have no idea what day or month it is. I don’t even know if I’ve turned nineteen yet. The only thing I’m sure of is that the Hole is brutal and hot … and tends to bring out things in people you’d rather not see.
Like Cole, for instance. I trust him and know he loves me, but since we got here, he hasn’t been himself. Then again, maybe I didn’t really know him to begin with. Maybe the Cole I met here is the real Cole. I begin pacing as my doubt gets the best of me.
Cole steps in front of me and places his hands on my shoulders.
“Hey, what’s going on with you?” he asks. Finally.
I shake my head. “I’m fine … just trying to wrap my head around everything. Does it make sense to you? We saw what they did to the motorcade. Who could have survived that? Who could survive that and then somehow find this place?”
“Look at me,” he says.
I do.
“Okay, now take a deep breath.” I inhale deeply and slowly exhale. “Good. Now listen to me. Okay?” I nod. “Whatever this monitor, Roméo, is about, we will figure it out. Right now, he’s our best chance to get the drop on Wilson and to find Sutton. I know it’s a huge risk and we’re really throwing ourselves out there, but I think there’s a good chance this guy could be our ticket out of here.”
It makes a lot of sense, but something is nagging at me. “I don’t know, Cole. Nothing has really been going our way, and now all of sudden we just happen to find the person we’re looking for here?”
“You’re starting to sound so cynical, like Bruno.”
A slight smile plays on his lips and for a minute, I think he might kiss me. I want him to kiss me.
“Maybe Bruno’s right,” I say.
“Well, whatever that guy’s hiding, Bruno will get it out of him. You can be sure of that.” I look at him skeptically and frown.
“I can’t sit around waiting for him to talk. We need to do something. Now.”
“I know. Let’s go above ground, do some recon. Someone has to know something. Someone has to have seen something.”
“Yeah, but you know how it is in the Hole. You keep your mouth shut, don’t make waves. Who is gonna tell us anything?” I don’t need to tell him how intimidating he looks or how much Sinners hate guards.
“Well, we have to try, Lexi. Sutton needs us to get proof of what’s been going on here, and that’s what we have to do. OK?”
I inhale deeply, the weight of it all threatening to crush me.
“Okay,” I say quietly.
“Now let’s get ready.” He kisses the top of my head, and my eyes flutter. I reach for him, but he steps away and straightens his shoulders. I notice the extra magazines he’s stowed away in the tan vest he wears over his t-shirt.
“What? No handgun?” I ask.
He smiles and pats his thigh. “Doubting me, are you?”
“Of course not. Not when it comes to fighting.” I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.
Cole looks cross for a second. Then he turns to walk away. I follow him out of the bathroom and into the hallway where the light flickers above our heads three times. I glance at Cole, but he’s looking up. A thundering noise pounds above us, and I wonder what it could be. I clasp my hands together and feel my palms already sweating.
We go through a series of hallways, each getting narrower with every turn. The cool air gives me goose bumps.
At first, it feels like we’re wandering through an endless maze, but the last turn leads to a hallway that opens into a wider tunnel. Immediately, I know where we are.
It takes everything within me to restrain my emotions. So much has changed since I stood here, praying we’d all survive the revolt against the Commander and his regime. In front of me were Sheldon and Keegan, brave and determined. I remember how hot it was in my full gear, hoping Cole was alive and trusting in Sutton’s plan. I grit my teeth remembering my friends, some of them in their last moments of life, fighting to hold on.
Veronica lay bleeding out on the top of the wall, Sheldon fell over the edge, and Sutton was shot. And then, Keegan. God, his death will forever be imprinted in my mind.