Holt's Holding (Part One)

chapter 6





The cab ride longer than normal; my mind still in the apartment caught up with what happened with Charlie.

What he had implied had me lost and confused. Did I want more than just “F*cking”? He almost asked it before completely doing a 180. The very notion that I was revealing in this type of thought was very new and terrifying for me. I reminded him of someone in his past. Someone, whom clearly still had a part of him. He said he couldn’t give me what he lost.

Lost is the best way to describe how I felt. I barely knew him however; I was very well versed in his type. He and I were bond to our past. I was very trapped in mine, the past that made me who I was. My head felt like it was spinning. Memories that I held hidden in the recess of my mind tried to surface. One man whom taught me a lesson of a life time surfaced. Lucian. The cold chill of his name alone, had me shivering in fear. Not going there. Shutting it down, I moved down the hall.

He was so much like me that in the end if we went down this road one of us would fall for the other and by default break a heart we had no intention of breaking. Maybe it was better this way. I need to get him out of my system.

The cab circling around the entrance to power plant came to a stop. Paying for my fair, I noticed the appraised eyes of the Cab Driver. Stepping from the taxi, I closed the door as Charlie’s assessment of my current attire resonated. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable. Charlie was right I looked like I was looking.

Shaking my head again, what seemed like a new habit forming, I laughed at myself as I made my way to the restaurant.

Nodding to the security detail, I knew them all. Baltimore was feeling very small to me all of the sudden. Finally, in the restaurant, I located Sam, already seat and waiting for me. Looking to the table my smile was instant; she had a martini waiting for me.

Shifting her head to the side, she was quick to read my mood. Shit, was I really becoming this readable to everyone? I was losing it.

I sat down, was quick to grab the martini, and sucked it down whole.

“Are you ok Lil?” Sam perched her arms up and crossed on the table as she waited for an answer.

“I’m fine, nothing that some more alcohol can’t fix.” I responded. Looking around, I located the waiter raising my now empty glass.

“Anything you want to share?” Her eyes were beseeching.

“Honestly, nothing to share Sam. I just had a weird experience not worth discussing.” It was more than weird, it was scaring the shit out of me.

“Ok then.” She smiled “Brady called, and said he would be here shortly. I hope you don’t mind that I didn’t say no?” I couldn’t tell if she was excited to see him or if she was trying to hide it from me.

“Of course not Sam. I expected to see him tonight.” I smiled noticing how nervous she suddenly became. Yeah, she had it bad.

“Oh good. I wasn’t sure if this was exclusively us,” She offered in relief.

“When do I do exclusive Sam?” and with that we both laughed. It was clear we were laughing at my expense. For the first time I realized how sad I was…so closed off. “Inaccessible” circled around in my head.

I was closed off with a purpose…a purpose that I would not abandon and not now. Reminding myself of my goals, typically helped. Then again, I made myself too f*cking accessible to a man, that didn’t have a right to peak this desire from me. The anger creped in once more. How the f*ck, did I let my guards down this easily? I knew who Charlie was, though I’ve been pretending to be ignorant. I know that Charlie is actually Prescott Charles Vaihn, Jr., and he was my enemy, not to mention the other partner of Vaihn Enterprises. If he only had a clue who I really was. Eight years of planning and setting this all up, I can’t lose myself now. Laughing internally, I was screwed.

I understood the tight rope I walked. Reeling in foolish emotions was important. The idea of letting go, and falling for anyone especially someone like Charlie, would do nothing but hurt me in the end. My planning and purpose can’t be abandoned just because he was an incredible f*ck. Hell, his reputation was clearly one that he earned.

Brady came in quick and kissed my cheek, greeting Sam in the same manor. Taking his seat, he looked to me quizzically, as I pulled myself out of my own thoughts. Brady was the one person who knew all my secrets and the only one I trusted. He could read me like a book with one glance, as I could him. I suppose years of knowing someone will do that.

“Everything ok?” He stared my way then shifted quickly between Sam and me.

In a crooked smile, I looked to him and nodded.

“Exactly as it should be,” I offered raising my glass to my lips. I didn’t want him to worry that I was off track. This was temporary in my opinion. I just needed a moment to shift gears.

He smiled back nodding, however, his little eyebrow raise was more of a question that he knew I couldn’t answer, at least not at the moment.

Dinner seemed to fly by as we laughed and carried on. This was the normal I needed.

Paying the bill, we left the restaurant. The heat of the night was thick and welcome. Walking thru the line, that now wrapped around the circle; we entered with ease. The benefit of being known.

The crowds were thick as we walked through, and straight back to Mosaic. Nodding again to the bouncers at the entrance, we walked in without having to deal with the line or cover.

The General Manager, Craig, was quick as he grabbed a hold of my arm pulling me tight and greeting me with his customary kiss on each cheek. He was a perverted little shit and f*cked most of his patrons…not me any way. He never tried but like most men, I knew he wanted to. A Minute of polite small talk I broke away from him. He was a short man built like a fourteen-year-old boy with facial hair. Just f*cking creepy. Huh! I shivered just a bit stepping away a bit as he was crowding my personal space.

I think he was more than aware, that I was far out of his league, not to mention friends with the owner. Thus, he never really tried his tacky moves on me.

“So, I hear you decided to preform?” He looked hopeful, waiting on my answer.

“Yeah, that. I guess. When do you want me on stage?” I answered looking around at the crowds.

“Whenever, but preferably in ten? Go the bar, and relieve Corey, everything is set. This is exciting. I love seeing you preform.” The look in his eyes had me holding back my bile. F*ck this guy just grossed me out.

Walking thru the club, I went around the bar where the dance floor was closest. Finding an opening, Corey walked over smiling while making a drink as he approached.

“Hey love!” he leaned over the bar and handed me a drink. “You with company?”

“Of course.” I gestured my head to Sam and Brady. Brady and I have known Corey for years as he and Brady went to Law School together. Corey worked for a smaller firm. He said bartending was something he enjoyed. I didn’t know how good of an attorney he was, however Corey was an amazing bartender.

“Brady…my man how are you this evening?” Corey yelled out.

“Never better! I think we need shots Corey…Patron,” Brady yelled out over the music.

“But of course.” He looked down to me “you looking?”

“No, not tonight Corey, just here to have a good time, nothing more.” I took the drink in hand.

“Then a good time you should have, thank you for deciding to perform tonight.” he grinned ear to ear.

Corey disappeared swiftly, only to return with two rounds of shots…I liked his style.

We all took one, then another….I was getting drunk.

Before I knew it, Corey came out from the bar and extended his arm to me. It was show time. Thankful for the few shots, I was feeling less timid and loose.

Walking to the stage, I knew everything would be prepped. Corey had a sixth sense when it came to me. “Ready?” He grinned.

Taking my place on stage, I shook my head at him as he held that stupid grin on his face. I like his type of arrogance. Why? I don’t know, but I trusted him, and singing tonight was something I undeniably needed.

Getting lost in the moment, I let the pounding of the rhythm set my mood. On stage, I opened my eyes to the crowd. Charlie, f*ck he was here? Standing towards the back of the crowds his eyes locked on my and that look of longing and sadness was marred in his expression.

Of course, the woman, whom looked like a gorgeous model, snaked a hold around him that he clearly accepted. Shouldn’t be surprised. Charlie was gorgeous. He stood out in a sea of people. Charlie reminded me of a GQ model and the way he held himself, screamed confidence.

Turning to Corey, I mouthed what song I wanted first in the set.

Gripping the mic, I felt the heat of the lights disappear. This song was personal. Finding my voice among the dark. I kept my eyes closed. The music of the bank behind me pulled me into my own private oasis. My lungs needing the release. I lost myself in the song. The crowds cheers deafened in my ears. The vibrations of the music flooded me whole. The song, resonated deep in me. I needed this more than I realized. The words flowed. My body moved, lost in a spell. I tapped the world; I loved to lose myself in.

Opening my eyes, I was no longer searching for him in the crowd of people. The song did that for me. Beginning the second song, Corey looked excited. I knew he loved it when I obliged him. Loosing myself in two more songs, this was precisely what I needed tonight.

Music was beyond just therapy for me, it was my center, my universe. Finishing the last song, Tiesto approached me, asking if I would perform. I almost laughed when he asked, but said yes. Of course, I would say yes. It was an honor.

Finally, spent, I made my way from the outdoor stage in front of Mosaic. Snaking my way to the interior bar, I found Corey. His smile was magnificent. Searching, I found Brady and Sam out on the dance floor, very close to having sex. I laughed turning back to the bar. Corey taking a shot with me, looked down at me slighting his head quizzically.

“Lilly are you ok tonight?” he look to me as if he could read me too well. Damn, I was slipping.

“Yes…I’m good Corey” and I was just that. However, Charlie was still in the back of my thoughts.

“You just don’t seem like yourself.”

“Trust me, I’m good and possibly better than I deserve.” I took my shot down greedily. Dropping the glass down to the bar with too much force, I needed another. Corey snaked around the bar and served me another.

“Thank you for tonight!” He smiled.

“Don’t mention it. I needed it.” I took the second shot as he smiled and disappeared behind the bar. Looking to the empty shot glass, I felt buzzed already.

The bar was packed tonight just as expected. Bodies at times tight, pushing through. Before I realized it, two unfamiliar hands landed on my hips. I turned, and to my shock…Sebastian was to my side.

“Lillian?” he smiled.

“Mr. Vaihn.” I nodded.

“Well this is certainly a surprise.” Sebastian looked to Corey ordering me another shot.

“Perhaps.” I whispered.

Turning to him, I appraised his tall stature. The man towered me and his blue eyes locked on mine. Sebastian had a way about him, an ability to look harmless one moment and lethal the next. He was in a white fitted t-shirt and black slacks. It was obvious he worked out as his shirt pulled in all the right places. Knowing who Charlie was, and looking at Sebastian, they definitely hit the lotto when it came to their gene pool. However, they had different colored hair and eyes, the gestures and build were very much the same. Shit, if I were a man that looked like them, I too would be just as arrogant.

Grinning and looking back to my drink, I could sense he would be a good distraction but again those damn words…OFF LIMITS circled thru my mind.

Shit, what did I really know of OFFLIMITS…? They were brothers, f*ck. Did I really want to play this game?

“You are clearly amused, do you care to share?” Sebastian leaned in.

“No nothing worth sharing Mr. Vaihn.”

“You really need to stop addressing me so formally. I might have a six year age gap over you, but your making me feel ancient.” He smiled.

I laughed, to his pathetic attempt to get me to call him by his name. I was sure ancient wasn’t what he was feeling right now. Judging the look in his eyes; Sebastian looked hungry, and I was on his menu.

“Fine…Sebastian.” I rolled my eyes laughing.

“That’s better.” again with his amazing smile.

“Are you alone or with your boyfriend?” he added.

Again, I laughed… “Friends and no boyfriend.”

Pulling his lips tight, he raised a quizzical brow. “I would have been certain that you were attached.”

“Looks can be misleading Sebastian…I’m sure you of all people know this lesson and well.” I smirked, knowing there was more truth to my statement.

“I’m not sure how to take that?’ He looked down at me in confusion.

“You don’t seriously want me to qualify my comment do you? I suspect you are more than intelligent enough to work it out for yourself” Ok, brassie mouth is taking hold. He pulled that part of me out so damn easily.

Pulling a tight grin, he nodded then smiled.

“Your performance was quite the shock. I had no idea you could sing? Don’t tell me you’re an aspiring singer?” He raised a brow.

“No, I’m not. I enjoy it, but not where my head is Mr. Vai-,” I caught myself and corrected, “Sebastian.” I smiled. “I just enjoy it.”

“I can completely understand. You looked like an entirely different person up there. Music, I suppose can do that.” He smiled seductively. “You’re very good. Commanding the crowd,” He shook his head grinning, perhaps a silent thought. “I have to admit, you’re a natural performer.”

More than you know. I silently thought.

The music shifted as did my mood. I was drunk and now didn’t care…he pressed up to me and leaned down, “you look like you need to get on the dance floor….Join me?” He lifted his head from the side of mine and pulled me to the floor. Sebastian didn’t wait for my response, not that it would matter, no was something he definitely didn’t understand. The man clearly got what he wanted on a regular basis.

Like that, we were on the floor and his hands were down around my hips, holding me just close enough.

I caught Sam’s shocked expression as she now shook her head, noticing whom I was dancing with…looking from her, I caught Brady’s expression, grinning.

Returning my gaze to Sebastian, placing my hand to his chest, I kept my eyes to his…he could move, and keep up to every move of my body. The music got hotter, and the rhythm of sex pumped through the speakers.

My mood had definitely shifted. Drunk, yes, I was feeling it. I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the music, either would be fine by me.

His hands moving on me were seductive, touching, and grazing ever so slightly but never truly firm…just enough to tease my senses. The music, hard and seducing my body…definitely dangerous, as was he.

The air, electric; pulsing through every nerve, every cell; luring me further into a dark need; directly to him; like a moth to a forbidden flame, I was tempted.

I knew his reputation…Brady’s words started to echo…every movement, every tease he provided, confirmed how he played the game…He was a man whom took his time. He didn’t just f*ck…no there was more to him, and now, I could sense it. His allure was strong. Even knowing this was how he worked…I was being tempted. Perhaps, I wanted to be seduced…he made it easy for me. I wanted to loosen my grip on the control I clung to. Charlie and his model flashed before me. A*shole!

But, was I that different? Nope. I was the same person. He had warned me. Hell, I would have behaved the same way. Who was I to judge?

Closing my eyes, Sebastian’s hand moved to the lowest possible point of my spine, close enough to my ass lead me into his body. Surrendering to the music and his touch, I pressed my body into his. His lips skimmed my neck. Memories of the basement flashed before me, the heat, the need, and more importantly, the feel of his body undermine.

His other hand materialized at the nape of my neck. Opening my eyes my breath hitched and my heart almost stopped. His lips dangerously close to mine…I froze trying to suck in a breath. His eyes locked in mine; I felt his thumb run along my jaw line stopping under my chin.

Holding my breath, he tilted my head up and in a tremble, he lowered his lips. Closing my eyes, I was in shock. His lips on my chin down my neck.

I finally released my burning lungs.

“Shit!” I breathed out in a whisper.

His mouth moved to the side of my neck then nipped at my ear.

“I want you.” he whispered, his hand moved to my ass cupping it at the center forcing me completely into his arousal, that was hitting me hard and tight at my abdomen. Raising my leg around his, I pressed a little closer, as our bodies moved to the music.

I could feel his finger fall just below my dress, pressing at my center. The slow rub, had me completely undone, about to fully surrender. Pressed into his hold, I couldn’t move away, even if I tried. My forehead fell to his chest and my breathing quickened.

“You are so tempting…I want to explore every part of you Lillian,” he rasped seductively into my ear, his breath tantalizing and hot on my skin.

“I can’t” I labored, trying to maintain some type of composure.

“You can!” he commanded in a seductive voice.

“No!” the word came out so weak and unconvincing even to me.

“Let go Lillian…say yes,” his lips returned to my neck teasing me and his slow rub was now working me over.

Oh, lord I was about to cum…right here on the dance floor.

His cheek rubbed up against mine.

“You want me Lillian…” he paused. “Your body is already weeping for me…just let go and give in…give me what I crave.” Weeping? F*ck, I was soaked in my own arousal.

“I…” my breathing again hitched his finger fell to the side of my panties and straight into my core.

I was trapped into him as his body was firm and now completely still….without any control over my now full-blown need…my climax hit me hard and uncontrolled. My body went limp into his and my head fell to his chest.

Removing his finger, slowly he raised my lost expression to his. Yes, this man was very dangerous. His eyes dark and hungry, he grinned a grin of satisfaction. He had me precisely where he wanted me. The man gave me an orgasm in the middle of a crowded dance floor with minimal effort. Of course he looked like he had the upper hand.

The club reappeared quickly around me. Gathering my senses, to the here and now, I found my control once more.

I grinned up at him.

No he would not have me…the challenge was now there, and my senses were once more reeled in. I was back in control. I gave myself the moment, looking at his hungry eyes. His lips curled up into a satisfied grin. Boy was he so off.

His hand released my ass, and I stepped back. Still smiling up at him, I was sure he thought he had control…well he didn’t.

I moved my hand up his toned chest, steadying myself. With a grin, I looked up at him.

“Sebastian?”

“Yes Lillian?”

I tilted my head, appraising his expression. “I think...” I paused “I think I need a drink Sebastian,” with that, I pulled completely away from him and walked to the bar leaving him standing. What I could see thru my peripheral vision, he was shaking his head, clearly amused.

I spotted Brady, as his expression was one of shock and possibly relief.

Brady handed me a shot of Patron… “You look as you need this more than me.”

I nodded with a crooked smile and took the shot down.

Looking around, I didn’t see Sam.

“Where is Sam?”

“Bathroom.”

“Lillian?”

“Brady?” I shook my head and smirked

“Don’t get over your head with this one.”

“Brady…don’t worry yourself…I know how to handle his type.”

“It almost appeared he knew how to handle you.” He raised his eyes to me then looked back to Sebastian, whom was talking with someone…

I turned to look at him. He was talking to the club owner.

“I need air Brady.”

“Go, I’ll wait for Sam and meet you outside…do we need a change of bars?”

“No…I think I might need to go home.”

“Wow…early for you isn’t it?” He looked confused for a moment.

“It’s one in the morning, and yes it’s early, but I think it to be best…” Turning completely to Brady, I raised my expression, “wouldn’t you?”

“You know what you’re doing, so, if you think it; go with your instincts love.” Grabbing my arm as I stepped away from him, he added, “remember my warning…this little show tonight, may have ignited his interest beyond reason.” He smiled, knowing what I was up to. I laughed and kissed him on his cheek.

“That sounds like his problem not mine.”

Shaking his head, I knew he was very amused with me. “Lillian, I swear you’re a man! But, you need to remember what’s at stake here.”

“Nope, kinda missing a cock and balls, and I know what’s at stake, his pride.” I laughed.

“Cabbing it?” He shook his head laughing at my display.

“But of course. I’m fine…I know enough of the security guards here Brady, getting into a cab shouldn’t be difficult.” I leaned back and kissed him on the cheek.

“Good night Brady.” I smiled offered a reassurance that he desperately needed.

“Good night Lillian.” He sighed. I knew that sigh, he was worried. He had every right to worry but he worried about the wrong man.

Snaking my way out of the club, I reached the plaza. With a few hellos and good byes to people, I ran into, I finally pushed through, and out by the fountain.

I stopped and opened my clutch making sure I had the cash I needed, when time slowed to a crawl…

The pop, echoed loud through the night air, followed by a second...

Gun shots!

Something hit me hard. The cobbled ground met my body with an unwelcome force. My head bounced, and the jolt sent stars shooting through my vision. The weight of someone’s body blanketed me.

I could hear and see parts of the commotion around me. Trying to move my head, it was screaming with pain, and my body, limp… The weight lifted off me, and a hand that I could barely feel at my cheek. I could barely focus up on him…

“Lillian? Lillian are you ok?” his voice was urgent…

Trying to focus up onto his face…I think it was Sebastian.

Where did he come from?

“What happened?” I managed and the pain shot through my head straight into my vision. F*ck this hurt. The blur and stars swarmed my head.

“Were you shot Lillian?” His voice was urgent and pleading. His hands ran up and down my body.

“I don’t think so?” I whispered…speaking was hurting and difficult.

“My head!” I rasped in pain.

He pulled my up into his arms, as I couldn’t manage to do it myself. Cradling me into his body, my head laid slack in his hold. Shit, he trembled in fear? What the hell was going on!

Looking thru his hold, the cops were everywhere, and the chaos that followed; had me in a panic. The Sirens were blaring and the lights were blinding.

I heard a piercing scream from behind Sebastian…

It was Brady!

“I need an ambulance…She’s been shot!”

In a panic, I tried to see…fighting in Sebastian’s hold. Damn his grip was like steal.

Sebastian felt my need, and broke his tight hold to me…

Panic had me frozen.

Brady held Sam in his arms.

The blood was everywhere.

My eyes were wide and burning…I suspected that I was crying, but couldn’t feel the tears fall.

“I’ve got you Lillian, it’s ok.” He voice became watered in my head.

The vision of my sister’s body limp and being pulled from my home, enveloped me. The thick smoke stole my vision. Just like that, the full panic attack took hold, as I blacked out.