Splinters rained down. Like bones splintering. I imagined my next victim on the chopping block, pleading for his life. Rage boiled up inside of me and I raised the ax, brought it down with such force that it stuck in the block. I put my foot up against the log and rocked the handle until the ax came loose again.
The logs went quickly. I chopped and chopped until the muscles in my arms ached and there was nothing left to split. The world was almost completely black, the shadow taking me over with a desire for relief. Cutting wood was no solution. I gathered the chopped logs in my arms, piled them up near the house in a dozen trips. Overloading myself each time. I could feel my back already beginning to hurt from the weight of carrying so much. Good. The pain would drive the shadow back, maybe. Give me something else to focus on.
Back in the house, up the stairs. In bed I found her tied up, her neck pale and tempting. The walls dripped with shadow and I clenched my fists, trying not to kill her.
She looked terrified as I came forward, stripping off my shirt. This was her choice, her decision.
“Gavriel?”
Her voice echoed in my brain, pinging back and forth inside. Was that who I was? A killer? A psychopath? What did she want to make of me? I bent my head to hers and saw my reflection in her eyes. A murderer, yes. Not today, though.
“You wanted me before, kitten. I hope you want me now.” My hands went to my pants, where I was already hard. Wanting her. Needing her. If I couldn’t have the release I sorely needed, I would have to distract myself elsewhere.
“Gav—”
“You don’t want me to kill him?” I hissed. “Fine. But I’m going to do whatever I want to you.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Kat
“This is your choice,” he said, dropping his underwear on the ground next to the bed. “You understand the decision you’ve made?”
I looked up at him. He scowled down at me, looking angry for disrupting for his plan. And looking… scared?
“Gav—”
“Tell me to go and I’ll go. Anytime. Understand?”
I nodded mutely. He stood at the bedside, his cock twitching, half-erect. I hadn’t seen him in full light before, but looking at him now I wondered if I would be able to take him inside of me. He was huge. I felt something inside me twist in painful desire.
“What do you want?” he asked.
I swallowed, knowing everything he was asking. Knowing what he really wanted. I couldn’t give it to him, but I could give something else.
“I want you,” I said.
It was coercion, I told myself. It was all a lie, all of this.
But it was none of that, not really. I hated the man he wanted to kill, hated that man more than I hated my kidnapper. In my mind, the face of the man he had gone to kill was my stepfather’s face. I knew what those men were like. I hated them.
Was I saving that man, an abuser? Or was I doing this to satisfy myself? Or both?
Gav was rougher this time. He did not waste a second on foreplay. Instead he swung a leg over me and straddled my chest.
Oh god. Oh god.
His cock hung in front of me. Long, thick, the skin smooth. The foreskin was already pulled back by the tension of his erection, exposing the pink mushroom tip.
“Tell me, kitten, have you ever been in this position before?”
“No,” I said honestly. The few guys I’d ever been with had been younger. All they knew was missionary position, and the only blow jobs I’d given had happened on couches, in dorm rooms, after parties where I’d had enough beer to dull my senses. I barely remembered what I’d done to get them off.
I breathed in, trying to slow down my pounding heart. What if he didn’t like what I did? Would he hurt me?
He pulled a pillow down and lifted my head to sneak it under me. All the while, I couldn’t take my eyes off of his cock. It twitched with his heartbeat at random times, and when he reached for the pillow it swung up, grazing my cheek.
“If you try anything to hurt me, I’ll kill you,” he said. “I’m being nice, kitten. I could just leave you here and go get my release elsewhere.”
“No,” I whispered, thinking of the man on the table, the knife dripping with blood. “Don’t. Please don’t.”
“Then make me want to stay here with you.”
With that, he cupped his hand around the back of my head and lifted me slightly. He slid his cock into my mouth and I panicked. Gagging, I coughed and jerked my head back. I looked up, worried, but he was smiling.
“Relax your tongue, kitten,” he said.
I did what he said, and when he put his cock into my mouth again it slid in smoothly. As he thrust farther in, the tip of his cock hit the back of my throat. My eyes watered but I kept my tongue down.
“Ohhh,” he moaned.
I might have thought that he was faking, but his cock, already stiff, hardened and grew in my mouth. He slid himself out, and I let my lips cover his head as he rocked out of me just barely, then rocked back in.