chapter Eight
Ada started to miss him from the next morning, when he wasn’t waiting outside her gate to take her to the office, as he had done throughout the week before. She was also a little relieved, how could she face him after all the things she had said? After a sleepless night of thinking about their fight, she was no longer so sure that she had any right to say the things she had said.
She wondered fretfully if the fight would somehow affect her job. She knew he wasn’t the type to put pressure on Sophie to fire her, even as Sophie wasn’t the type who would surrender to such pressure, but she fretted anyway.
Nothing happened throughout that day. The adverts for the new positions were sent out, Oliver and Fadeke did a little dance around the office when they were told of their promotions, while Ada and Sophie watched and laughed.
She had become so used to Eddie calling her, that the absence of any kind of communication from him was almost bewildering. She went through the motions of doing her work, but her mind replayed every single moment of the day before. She was still angry about the fact that he has spoken to Dele Solanke about her, but now she had enough presence of mind to direct most of her anger toward Dele and not Eddie.
He had just wanted to help, and was curious about how to go about it. She could see that now. It was his nature after all. Probably he had even seen a profit in it, in which case he hadn’t even been doing her a favor for favor’s sake, but actually investing in her career. Was it so bad that he would want to invest in her? She asked herself now.
Well at least he would leave her alone now. There was no reason for him to keep being nice to her after she had insulted him in his home. She told herself that it was exactly what she wanted, for him to leave her alone, but it rang hollow even in her own head.
After the whole week passed in a blur of work, with no word at all from Eddie, Ada started to feel sick at heart. She hadn’t realized how much she had gotten used to him. Now every time her phone rang, every time there was a knock on her door, she expected, no wanted it to be him, and was always disappointed when it was not.
It was five days before he called, Ada had been counting. It was Friday, and after a long series of interviews, she had finally hired a new assistant. His name was Clive, he was twenty two and had exceptional graphic design skills. The new receptionist had also been selected. She was a professional looking woman in her mid-thirties, called Lola Balogun. Ada found herself wondering if they wouldn’t all seem like children to her.
She had been working late, not very eager to home to her empty flat, which lately seemed to remind her of Eddie all the time. In fact, everything seemed to remind her of Eddie lately. So she buried herself in her work, she had already finished tasks she had no need of doing for at least two weeks, but it was easier to work all the time, than to be idle and think of Eddie.
When her phone rang, she wasn’t expecting it to be him, she had given up on him ever calling her again, so when she saw his name on the caller ID, her stomach immediately went hollow. She panicked. Did she really want to talk to him? She wondered wildly, could she?
The phone stopped ringing and her heart started to calm, maybe it had been a mistake, maybe he hadn’t really meant to call her at all. She realized she had been holding her breath and let it out slowly.
She jumped as the phone started to ring again. She sighed. It definitely couldn’t be a mistake twice in a row. Slowly she picked it up and said a tentative “Hello.”
“Hello.” He replied. His voice still had the power to turn her heart to mush. The sound alone made her remember how much she had missed hearing it. Suddenly she felt crushingly sad. It was silly, but she had an overwhelming urge to cry.
“Are you still at the office?” He asked.
She nodded, and then realized he couldn’t see her. “Yes.” She said. “I am.”
“Can I come over to pick you?” He asked. “I’m on my way home now.”
She didn’t even think about it. “Yes.” She breathed.
He paused. “Okay.” He said, he sounded relieved. “I’m outside your office.”
She started in surprise. “Okay.” She told him. “I’ll be right down.”
Her hands were shaking as she hastily gathered her things. He was already outside? Waiting for her? What did he want?
He was standing beside his car in the parking lot. It was already getting dark and the security lights were not yet on, but she would know that form anywhere. He looked like a tall, dark shadow, silhouetted against the darkening sky, or like an avenging angel, she thought, almost hysterically.
She walked up to him, trying hard to push aside the trepidation that was building in her heart. Even in the evening light, he looked gorgeous and graceful.
He didn’t smile when he saw her. He just opened the car door.
She gasped. Whether it was shock, alarm, joy at seeing him, or annoyance that he would assume that she would go with him even without him giving her the courtesy of a simple ‘good evening’, she wasn’t sure.
“You haven’t asked me if I need a ride.” She said, stubbornness kicking in. Even though the sight of him had reduced her to a wreck, she still felt a little confrontational, and attack was often the best form of defense, she had learned.
“I’d like for us to talk.” He said tiredly. “If it’s fine by you, there are some things I feel I should explain to you and try to make you understand.”
She bristled a little, but got into the car. What did he want to try to ‘make her understand’? How was he planning to explain away the fact that he had assumed that he had the right to approach someone as sleazy as Dele Solanke about her book, or the fact that he’d benefited from stolen money.
He didn’t say anything throughout the drive. The silence was oppressive. He didn’t even bother to play any music. She shifted uncomfortably in the seat, her mind in turmoil. Well, he was the one who wanted to talk, she thought stubbornly, so she didn’t say a word either.
There was a little traffic leaving the island, so it was more than an hour before he drove into her street, in all that time they hadn’t said a word to each other.
She started to open the door as soon as he parked in front of the gate.
“Wait.” He said tersely. Then he chuckled, though there was no amusement in it. “Just wait okay?”
She stopped and sat back on the seat. “It didn’t seem like you wanted to talk anymore.” She said pointedly.
He nodded. A short silence followed, Ada started to wonder if he was going to say anything at all.
“I was seated on the same table at Dele Solanke at the wedding in Abuja.” He started abruptly. “I know him as the husband of a very good friend of my sister’s and as a publisher of some repute.”
His fingers were tapping a silent rhythm on the steering wheel as he spoke, his voice low and soft. Ada looked away from him. Outside the car, the streetlights were coming on. Did she really want to hear his explanation? So that what? So she would forgive him and they would continue their unexplainable companionship? It was tempting. The memory of him holding her hand at his house the weekend before was still enough to send shivers up her spine, and yes, she wanted more, more time with him. However, she realized that it would be far safer for her, in the long run if she stayed angry with him, whether he deserved it or not. That way she could easily retreat into the life she had before he started his campaign to make her ‘like’ him. That life had been good, there had been no stress, no issues, no wanting and no problems.
“I confess I had been thinking about a way to get your book published for a while,” He continued, “and not just because I like you, or because I can, but because I think it’s a good commodity that should be given a chance in the market.”
He paused and she turned from her contemplation of the street outside to look at him. “I didn’t mention your name, I only told him that you did some work with one of my old projects.”
“Living Lagos,” Ada interjected, “and I am the only professional photographer with Living Lagos.”
“I didn’t realize that everybody knew that. “ He said wryly. “Or that you knew him so well.”
“I don’t know him so well.” Ada said, her temper flaring. “I’ve already told you I approached him to publish my book. He said I had to raise the money myself.”
“And he called you to tell you I had been asking about financing it.”
She nodded.
“What did he say to you?”
She frowned, remembering Dele’s slurred insults. “That’s none of your business.” She stated.
He chuckled. “And you want me to believe that you’re not seeing him.”
She would have struck him then, it was a reflex, her hand swung out before she could control herself, but he caught it, and didn’t let go.
“Let go of me.” She whispered.
He released his hold on her abruptly, as if her skin had suddenly burned him.
She took a deep breath. “Believe what you want, but I’m not dating a married man.” She said tersely, “Not that it’s any of your business.” She paused. “Well you should know that now he thinks I’m your girlfriend or whore, maybe, that’s why you’re so interested in publishing my book.”
“But you know better,” He shrugged, “Who cares what he thinks?”
Good question, Ada thought. Really, why did she care so much? She had no answer.
“Did he come on to you?” Eddie asked.
Ada nodded. “Can I go in now?” She asked. “Because I really don’t see why I have to tell you all this, It’s my personal life, and I don’t have to share it with you.”
He nodded. “You’re right.” He said. “It’s not my business.” He paused. “I said I wanted to try to make you understand something.”
She nodded. “Okay?”
“Those things you said about my grandfather, they were true.” His voice was quiet. “He did embezzle money. Nothing I say or do will excuse that fact.”
She stayed silent.
“He belonged to a system that was corrupt,” Eddie continued. “I’m not excusing him, but he did what everyone was doing at the time.” He stopped, and sighed. For a moment, Ada pitied him. This was obviously an argument he had gone through before, with himself maybe. “I would have preferred for him to be a hero.” He continued. “To have been the man who stood up against corruption and fought for what was right, but he wasn’t that man,” He turned to look at Ada. “That doesn’t mean that he is no longer my family.”
Ada didn’t say anything. What could she say anyway?
He sighed. “Maybe you would prefer for people like me to fall on our swords and die, but in real life it doesn’t work like that. For God’s sake we’re fighting about someone who has been dead for more than twenty years.”
“We’re fighting about money he stole, which you still have.” Ada retorted. “If you were such a good person, if your family had any conscience they would return it.”
He laughed. “Don’t be naive.” He said. “You’re talking about money that has been multiplied a thousand times over.” At her stubborn expression, he continued. “My father did try to return some money to the government when he was young and idealistic. He ended up enriching a couple of government officials, while they called him a fool as soon as his back was turned. That’s what happens you know. The country hasn’t changed for the better, even though my grandfather is dead.”
He wasn’t lying, Ada realized. It was still a corrupt country. But that didn’t change anything, it certainly didn’t change the fact that he had tried to interfere in her life without her permission.
“Can I go inside now?” She asked dispassionately, the sooner this episode of her life that included him was over, the better for her. “I really don’t want to talk about this. Eddie, you don’t need to make excuses to me, you don’t actually need my forgiveness or validation.” She paused. He was staring straight ahead, and she couldn’t see the expression on his face. “We’re not friends.” She continued. “I’m sure you have a lot of friends, people like you, who understand where you’re coming from and accept it. But I don’t, and I don’t want to have to deal with it.”
He laughed disbelievingly. “So that’s it then?” He asked, turning to face her. “You asking me to take a hike because I tried to get your book published and I had the misfortune to be born into a certain family.”
“You shouldn’t have tried to interfere in my life.” She retorted. “Maybe you should have come to me before appointing yourself as an executor of my affairs.”
“Why don’t you just face it, and accept that you’re blowing all this out of proportion because you’re too scared to face up to the fact that you want to be with me.” He said.
“I am not scared of anything.” Ada replied hotly. It was a lie, and they both knew it.
“Really?” His voice was challenging. “Really?” He shook his head in what looked like exasperation. “Come off it, Ada, I know you are attracted to me.”
She forced a laugh. “I am not.” She insisted.
He laughed softly, to her, it sounded dangerous. “You want to test that?” He asked.
Now she was scared, but she went on bravely. “I know your vast experience with women makes you think that you know us all and that were all the same.” She said. “But we’re not. You’re just going to have to accept that there are some women who do not think you walk on water.”
“Like you.” He stated.
“Yes.” She agreed. “Like me.”
He moved so quickly that she had no time to prepare herself. One minute she was talking and the next he had taken hold of her shoulders, pulled her towards him, and silenced her with a kiss.
It wasn’t like when he had kissed her before. He wasn’t gentle at all, at first. It was a demanding kiss, a kiss that sought to conquer her, to make her accept that she wanted him, and not a kiss meant to give any sort of pleasure.
At first, she forgot to struggle, to push him away, because she was surprised. There was also the fact that punishing or not, the sensations his kiss aroused in her were too pleasurable to give up in just those few seconds.
However, after a few moments she recovered a little of her senses, enough for her to raise her hands to his chest to push him away. Then his lips became gentler, softer, cajoling a response from her.
Her hands stilled on his chest. They forgot why they were there in the first place, now they were moving over his chest, feeling the muscled hardness under his shirt, moving to grasp his arms, caressing him, drawing him closer.
Someone moaned. Was that her? It couldn’t be! She thought, as he deepened the kiss. I should push him away, she thought desperately, I should get out of this car right now, but she didn’t make any move to, no kiss had ever felt so good. Her lips, every single part of her body his hands touched, were suffused with intense pleasure. She felt pleasure build and pool in her stomach, and lower, the sweet aching longing that she knew was desire. She didn’t want him to stop, all she wanted, was more.
A car drove by, and for a few seconds they were illuminated in the bright headlights, her senses slowly returned and she pulled away from him. He was breathing deeply and so was she.
“Don’t tell me that you’re not attracted to me.” He said slowly, his voice ragged. His chest rose and fell with each word, and she realized that her hands were still holding on to him. She let him go abruptly and looked away.
“It’s just physical.” She said, her voice had lost all of its earlier stubbornness and now sounded soft and shaky to her.
He sighed. “You’re determined to push me away no matter what.” He stated.
She was tempted. In that moment all she wanted to tell him was that she didn’t care about any of it, that she didn’t care about anything as long as he kissed her again. Instead, she plowed on. “I am not going to be one of your many girls.” She said, her voice recovering some of its firmness, “If that’s what you’re asking. Find someone else to charm, Eddie. I’m not interested.”
He nodded, and sat back on his seat. “Fine,” He said. “Suit yourself then.”
“I guess I’ll see you around.” She said,
He smiled but didn’t answer. She opened the door and climbed out of the car. She didn’t look back. She just walked through the gates and towards her empty flat. Why did she feel so empty all of a sudden? She felt empty and foolish and totally wrong. She heard him rev the engine of the car. What right do you have to judge him? That little voice in her head said. You’re just overreacting, Ada, overreacting.
She ignored it. She wasn’t going to think about it, or about him! It was over. Her short reign as the girl in Eddie Bakare’s life was over. It was for the best, she told herself, it had to be.