Her Bad Boy Billionaire Lover (Billionai)

chapter Nine



"I think he's cu-uu-ute," said Stace as Megan tried to wrestle her into her pajamas later that evening. Of course she was talking about Jake.

Jenny, already clad in her Little Mermaid nightshirt, turned a somersault on her bed. "I think he's dumb."

Megan fastened the last button on Stace's pajama top.

"We don't call people dumb, Jenny."

"He's pretty," Stace said dreamily, obviously in the throes of a major crush. "He could be a movie star."

Jenny aimed a withering glance in her friend's direction then looked at Megan. "Can we have pecan pancakes for breakfast tomorrow?"

"If Ingrid has pecans in the kitchen."

"My mommy always has pecans," Stace said. "She keeps 'em in the pantry in a big red jar."

"Then it's pecan pancakes tomorrow morning." Megan ruffled Stace's blond curls. "But now it's time for the two of you to go to bed."

"Can't I stay up late tonight?" Jenny asked. "It's my birthday."

"You've had a big day, sweetheart," said Megan, enveloping her daughter in a hug. "I really think you should get some sleep."

Jenny's lower lip quivered. "But it's my birthday."

"I could tell you a story," Megan volunteered. "But only if you two get into bed."

The two little girls scrambled beneath the covers of their respective beds.

"Cinderella," said Jenny. "Just like you told it last night."

"Hooray!" Stace piped up. "Cinderella and the handsome prince from Austria."

Megan didn't bother to correct her. She launched into a rollicking version of Cinderella complete with music and sound effects. The girls were enraptured. She followed up Cinderella with an abbreviated Sleeping Beauty then declared story time officially over for the night.

"You'll see a better version of Sleeping Beauty tomorrow at the mall," she said, giving each little girl a kiss.

"Do you think my mommy will have the baby tonight?" Stace asked as Megan was about to switch off the light.

"Yes, honey, I do. I think by the time you wake up in the morning you'll have a beautiful little brother or sister of your very own."

Miguel had called right around dinner time to speak to Stace and to let Megan know that Ingrid was heading into the home stretch.

"Aunt Meg." Stace tugged at Megan's sleeve. "Can Jenny have a baby brother?"

Megan looked from Stace to her daughter. "Not right now," she said. "I'd like to be married before I have another baby."

"You don't have to be married," Jenny piped up.

"I know that, Jenny."

"You could go to the store and get one," Stace chimed in. "My Aunt Lisa did that."

"No, silly," said Jenny. "Not a store. It's a squirm bank."

"I think it's time we turned out the lights," said Megan, feeling faint. "Now sleep well."

They knew so much--yet they knew nothing at all. And it would be another twenty years before they even realized it.

With a sigh, she headed toward the kitchen to finish cleaning up. The melancholy mood that had begun with Jake's appearance at their daughter's birthday party still persisted. Ingrid and Miguel were about to welcome a new member into their family while Megan felt as if she were running in place. Her past, her present, and her future had unexpectedly converged and she found herself at the crossroads without a compass.

But not without memories.



#



The nurse looked up from the sheaf of papers. "Are you sure you don't want to call someone?" Her expression was kind. "First labor can take a long time. You might like the company."

Megan shook her head. "Thank you, no. I'll be fine."

The nurse looked dubious. "There must be someone," she persisted. "I know you're not one of our Lamaze patients but still...."

Megan smiled but remained silent. I have no one, she thought as an attendant wheeled her to her hospital room. There isn't one person on earth I can call to help me.

For weeks she'd found herself thinking about Jake, dreaming about the man who was her baby's father. Ridiculous, elaborate dreams--fantasies, really--where he would show up on her doorstep and sweep her up into his strong arms where she would be safe and protected. "I love you, Meggie," he said in her dreams, "and I'll love our child more than life itself."

"Fool," she whispered.

"Did you say something?" asked the attendant.

"No," said Megan, blinking away sudden tears.

Everywhere she looked she saw expectant mothers surrounded by an army of family and friends. Proud husbands, nervous mothers and fathers, friends there to lend support and celebrate a brand new life. It seemed so little to ask, to have someone with her to share the most important day of her life.

Jake, she thought. Before today is over you'll be a father.

"Do you need help changing into a gown?" the attendant asked.

Megan shook her head. "I can manage."

The attendant nodded. "Someone will be in shortly to examine you." The woman disappeared in a flurry of disinfectant and laundry bleach and that odd smell that belonged to a hospital alone.

From somewhere she heard the sound of laughter and a soft rush of footsteps past her door. She stiffened as a contraction came and went, stronger and more powerful than the one before. She rubbed her belly, feeling more alone and frightened than she had at any other time in her life.

"I'm going to do right by you," she whispered to the child eager to be born. "You'll always have me to rely on."



#



The experience had been terrifying and wondrous and all things in between and Megan would have given anything for the comfort of having someone who loved her help her through it. When they'd placed Jenny in her arms for the first time, she'd been overwhelmed by a sense of loss so profound that it took her breath away. Jake should have been there with them and he would have been if she hadn't been so eager to run back to the comfort of her father's house.

For all she knew Ingrid was giving birth at this very moment. Miguel would be there by her side, holding her hand, calming her fears, there to share the triumphant joy of hearing their child's first cry. How would it feel to share the good times and the bad with someone who would love Jenny as much as Megan did and be there to protect her if Megan could not?

"A dream," she said out loud, trying to shake off the persistent mood. She had a healthy, happy child and that should be enough for any woman. Dreaming about what could have been was an exercise in futility. If she'd learned anything on the Sea Goddess, she'd learned that.

The warmth of his hands against her body...the smell of his skin...the realization that she would never feel so female, so loved if she lived to be one thousand....

Her thoughts skidded to a halt. Love had nothing to do with what they'd shared. Sensuality, yes. Raw sex, absolutely. But love? Love was for the girl she'd left behind years ago, the one who believed in happy endings and real life heroes. Love, in its purest form, was what she felt for Jenny. She and Jake wouldn't know love if they fell over it...or into it.

Love was what Miguel and Ingrid felt for each other. That willingness to be there during the bad times and not run away in search of sunnier climes the way she herself had done at the first sign of difficulty. Sometimes it was hard to be around Miguel and Ingrid and not feel a sharp stab of envy that what they had in abundance had been denied to her. And Jenny felt it too. She'd seen her little girl's face when Jenny came home from Stace's house after Megan's weekend on the Sea Goddess. Jenny's talk had been filled with baby brothers and daddies who told bedtime stories and knew how to saddle a horse. Megan's heart had ached at the longing in her little girl's voice. How could she explain to Jenny that sometimes even a daddy could break your heart in two?

He doesn't want to be your father, sweetheart, she thought, resting her head on the smooth surface of the table top. If she'd been expecting an argument on that count, Jake had surprised her. Tomorrow he would spend the day with Jenny and tomorrow night he would walk out of their lives for good.

"You should be happy," Megan said aloud in the silent kitchen. "This is exactly what you wanted."

So why was she crying?



#



It occurred to Jake around midnight that the thing to do was abandon ship. He'd been trying to nap on a couch in the Tropicale office but each time he closed his eyes all he could see was that little red-haired girl barreling toward him like an avenging angel.

Leave my mommy alone!

He sat up in the darkened office and dragged a weary hand through his hair. Maybe the little sheila was right. Maybe the best thing he could do was leave them both alone. His rental car was parked downstairs. All he had to do was grab his briefcase and head out to Miami International and board the first plane to Hawaii. This time tomorrow he could be on his boat, alone the way he'd planned it, and today would be just another memory.



#



"Jake." Megan's voice was low, unbearably sexy. "Someone might see us."

"We're alone, Meggie. There's no one around for miles." Just the sea and the stars and the endless night.

The sailboat rose and fell with the movement of the ocean, urging them closer.

"This isn't our boat," she persisted. "What if someone finds out?"

"Nobody will find out. We'll be back at the marina before anyone knows it's missing." He'd been desperate to get her out of their tiny, sweltering apartment. Desperate to provide a touch of the luxury she'd known with her father.

He moved between her thighs. She moaned as he found her with his hand. "Open for me, Meggie," he said. He needed to lose himself in her softness and heat, feel the way her body tightened around him, hear the sounds she made in the back of her throat when she came.

He needed to believe this wasn't the beginning of the end....



#



Three days later Megan was gone.

He stared out the office window at the lights of Miami twinkling below. Nothing about that night had been careful or considered. He'd taken her with a fierce hunger that scared them both. She'd responded in kind, drawing him more deeply inside her body until neither one knew where the other began.

Was that the night Jennifer had been conceived? Created out of desire and love and the absolute certainty that what they had together would never be enough to see them through.

He looked at the telephone. One call was all it would take. He could have a plane waiting for him at the airport and be gone before daybreak. There was nothing for him here. Not really. Megan had made it perfectly clear that there was no room for him in her life. And he wasn't convinced there should be room for him in their daughter's. He'd see to it that they never wanted for anything.

But dawn found him watching the sunrise over the water.

And at ten o'clock he climbed into his car and started the engine.

Traffic was light as he cut across the city toward the house where Megan was staying. How did she feel spending the night in luxury when her own place was just a step above an army barracks? Did it even matter to her anymore?

Nothing about her life was the way he thought it would be.

He signaled a turn into the subdivision where her partner lived. He should have left well enough alone, kept his memories where they belonged, buried in a far corner of his mind. They were supposed to have great sex, burn away the past, then say goodbye forever. Neat. Clean. Permanent. He hadn't expected to care.

He pulled into the driveway next to a beat-up Ford he now knew to be Megan's. Hard to imagine her without the fiery little red Porsche that had been her trademark.

Hell, he thought, as he headed up the walkway toward the front door. That was just one of a hundred things that had changed in the past six years.

"I have a brand new baby brother!" The little blond girl with the big blue eyes greeted him as she swung open the door. She was so sweet, so cute, so uncomplicated--everything he'd expected a little girl to be. "His name is Charlie and he weighs ten pounds."

Jake winced. "Ten pounds?"

The little girl nodded, her blond curls bouncing. "My daddy says he's a bowling ball in diapers."

He had to laugh. "I think I'd like your daddy."

"You would like him, Jake." Megan's low voice drifted toward him. "Miguel's a yacht builder."

He looked past Stace to see Megan standing in the archway to the foyer. She wore white pants and a silky pale gold sweater that skimmed her breasts and hips. Her auburn hair was piled loosely on top of her head, anchored with a tortoise shell pin. She walked toward him, that swaying womanly walk that had always brought him instantly to life.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"In the backyard. She wanted to pick some flowers to take to Ingrid and the baby after the puppet show."

"Won't they wilt?"

"I tried to tell her," Megan said, "but she has her own ideas."

Genetics, he thought. Stubborn genes on both sides of the family. Poor little sheila didn't stand a chance.



#



It took a good ten minutes to get Jenny and Stace strapped into the back seat of Jake's shiny black Jaguar. They were in a giggly mood, acting about as silly as it was possible for two six year old girls to act.

"You have thirty seconds to calm down and get those seatbelts fastened," Megan warned. "Otherwise you can forget about the puppet show."

They managed to stop giggling long enough to obey Megan but the laughter started up again as soon as the car was moving.

It was business as usual for Megan. Jake, however, kept glancing at them through the rearview mirror, a puzzled expression on his face.

"This comes with the territory," Megan said. "Little kids laugh a lot."

He glanced at her and her heart turned over at the surprising look of vulnerability in his eyes. There was something different about him today. Yesterday's anger was gone and in its place was a bittersweet sense of finality that was almost enough to crumble her defenses.

"I think the little ankle-biters are laughing at me."

"They're not laughing at you."

"How do you know?" He glanced in the mirror once again. "I heard the word 'kangaroo.'"

"Oh, Jake!" She started to laugh herself. "That doesn't mean anything."

"I don't know." He didn't sound convinced. "There's something going on back there."

"Of course there's something going on back there. There always is when you're with kids. You'll get used to it."

Her words hung in the air between them. He wasn't going to be around long enough to get used to it. By this time tomorrow he'd be back on another of his yachts, smiling at the pretty women and counting up his profits, while Megan and Jenny went on with their lives as if he'd never existed.



#



Jake stared at the swarm of kids tearing around the center court of the mall. He'd never seen so many children in one place in his life. Hundreds of them, all different ages and colors and personalities, with just one goal in mind: to drive their parents crazy.

Jennifer and her friend Stace had seemed like relatively normal children to him up until the moment they saw the hordes of small marauders tearing from the carousel to the puppet theatre to the child-sized railroad that wound its way around the perimeter of the center court.

"Can we sit in the front row, Mommy?" Jennifer's eyes were wide.

"Only if you promise to behave yourselves and not stand up on your chairs."

"We promise," the two children said in unison.

"You believe them?" Jake asked as the girls took their seats right in front of the puppet theatre.

Megan shrugged her lovely shoulders. "Hope springs eternal," she said. "Ask any mother."

He watched her as she watched their daughter. It occurred to him that the girl he'd loved and lost had been replaced by a woman he would never get to know. He'd shared her body but would probably never be lucky enough to share her soul and that struck him as a bloody shame.

The puppet show began on schedule and, to Jake's amazement, the kids quieted down enough for the performers to be heard.

"They'll be busy for a while," he said to Megan. "Why don't we get some coffee."

Megan shook her head. "I don't want to leave them alone."

"We won't leave the mall."

"They're my responsibility," she said, her voice soft. "I have to stay."

It was a dangerous world and children were the most vulnerable of them all. The fact that their daughter was a healthy and happy six-year-old was a testament to Megan's devotion and care--and another example of all the things he'd never understand about raising a child.

They sat together on a bench not too far from the puppet theatre.

"Sometimes I look at Jenny and I wonder how on earth I ever believed I could bring up a child. She's so little, so trusting--" Her voice caught and he put his arm around her shoulders. She didn't move away.

"You're doing a great job with her, Meggie. She's bright and opinionated and--"

She met his eyes. "Stubborn as hell?"

He grinned. "I was saving that for last."

"She's our daughter, Jake. There's no doubt about that."

"Poor kid," said Jake with a laugh.

"Yeah," said Megan softly. "Poor kid."

"She doesn't like me much."

"She doesn't really know you."

"Why don't I think that would help."

"Maybe she senses how uncomfortable you are around her. Kids are amazingly intuitive."

"It's more than that. When she looks at me I feel like she knows every lousy thing I've done in my life."

Megan chuckled. "She's a brilliant child but you're giving her way too much credit."

"She sees something, Meggie. She knows I don't have what it takes."

"Maybe she sees what you want her to see."

He had no answer for that. He doubted if there was one.

They sat together, his arm around her shoulders, her hand in his, watching the puppet show and enjoying Jenny's reaction to it. Her face was exceptionally mobile, her expressions perfectly mirroring the action on stage. She was bright, enthusiastic, self-confident as hell. He wasn't sure if he was seeing Megan as a child or the kid he would have been if life had dealt him a different hand.

The puppet show concluded after an endless finale of knock-knock jokes and sing-alongs. The minute the curtain went down, the children exploded into frenzied activity, racing for the bathroom, the mini-train, and the carousel.

"Can we have a ride, Mommy?" Jennifer begged. "Please, please, I promise I'll go to sleep on time tonight."

"Please, Aunt Meg," Stace urged. "Just one ride."

"Go ahead, Aunt Meg," Jake said. "I'll pay for it."

Megan looked at the two little girls then shrugged. "I know when I'm outnumbered."

They bought tickets from a perky little blond in a candy-striped shorts outfit then waited on line.

"Aunt Meg, help me!" Stace ran for a painted pony the second their turn came. "I can't climb up."

Megan hesitated.

"Go ahead," Jake said, sounding more confident than he felt. "I'll help Jennifer."

Jennifer looked up at him and scowled. "I don't want you," she said, standing in front of a palomino with pink flowers painted around his neck. "I want my mommy to help me."

"Sorry, kid," he said, stung. "Looks like you're stuck with me."

Her lower lip jutted forward ominously.

"Hey, none of that." He grabbed her by the waist. She was so tiny, her bones so small and delicate--

"Not that way!" She wriggled out of his grasp, giggling. He'd never heard a sound quite like that before. Not in the house where he grew up. "That tickles."

"What tickles?" he asked, taking her by the waist again. "This?"

Her giggles grew louder. "You're doing it wrong!" He let her slip out of his grasp again. Her golden eyes twinkled with merriment.

"So how do I do it right?"

"Here," she said, pointing under her arms. "That's how my mommy does it."

"How do you know your mommy does it the right way?"

"Because my mommy knows how to do everything."

A lump the size of Gibraltar formed in his throat and he swallowed hard, trying to dislodge it. Out of all their fire and all the pain, he and Megan had created this perfect little girl.

He put his hands under her arms and swung her up onto the painted palomino. "Your mommy is a very good mommy, isn't she?"

Her eyes were on a level with his. "My mommy is the best in the world." She peered at him curiously. "Your eyes are wet."

"No, they're not."

She leaned forward and touched his cheek with the tip of her finger. "Yes, they are."

"I have a cold."

"You haven't sneezed once."

"I have a sneezeless cold."

She giggled again. "You're silly."

"Yeah," he said, smiling at her. "Sometimes I am."

The carousel lurched forward and he made to jump off.

"No!" Jenny grabbed for his shoulder. "You have to stay, too. I'm just a kid. I could fall off."

"We wouldn't want that to happen." He glanced around, surprised to see that for every young rider there was an adult.

"You have to stand real close," Jenny ordered. "Mommy always holds the horse's leash."

"Reins," he corrected. "The horse's reins."

A big dimple appeared in her left cheek. Bloody hell, he thought. My mother had a dimple in her left cheek. He hadn't really thought about his mother in years and now he could see her standing in front of him.

"You didn't laugh," she said, brows slanting into a frown. "I told a joke."

"Sorry, Jennifer. I was thinking of something else." He focused his attentions on her. "Tell me your joke."

"Horses don't have reins," she said, "clouds have rains."

He stared at her, dumbstruck.

"You're not laughing," she said, looking disappointed. "Don't you get it?"

"I get it," he said, as a laugh, a real one, erupted. The kid understood homonyms. His chest felt swollen with something suspiciously like pride.

"Really?" asked Jennifer, her eyes sparkling with delight.

"Really," he said, patting her awkwardly on the head.

He couldn't bring himself to look over at Megan. He felt naked, his emotions exposed. It was like a different man had crawled inside his skin, a man who wanted things he couldn't have. Things he wouldn't know how to handle if he did have them.

"Why do you call me Jennifer?" she asked as the carousel slowed down.

"That's your name, isn't it?"

"Only teachers call me Jennifer." She made a funny face. "You should call me Jenny."

"Jenny." He swung her from the horse, aware of the way her hair smelled of shampoo, of the delicate framework of bone and muscle, of how she was everything good and right about the time he and Megan had spent together.

"Do you have a little girl of your own?"

"Uh--" He hesitated. Talk about a loaded question. "Yeah," he said after a long moment. "I do."

"I don't have a daddy," she confided. "He and my mommy got di--" She paused, searching for the right word. "Di-vorced a long time ago. We haven't seen him since I was in mommy's tummy."

"Your mom does a good job taking care of you, doesn't she?"

Jenny nodded vigorously. "But I still wish I had a daddy. Daddies take you lots of places." She looked at him. "Besides mommy says she won't have a new baby unless we have a daddy."

There was no safe response so he let her comment pass. He started toward the ticket booth where Megan and Stace were waiting.

"You have to hold my hand," Jenny said, looking up at him. "Don't you hold your little girl's hand? Kids can get lost in malls."

"We wouldn't want that to happen, would we?"

Her hand disappeared within his. A feeling of such tenderness, such painful towering joy washed over him that for a second he couldn't draw a breath. He had to remind himself that it was only for one day.



#



"Are you crying, Aunt Meg?" Stace tugged at her hand. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying, Stace." Megan blinked, wishing little girls didn't have such sharp eyes. "It's my allergies."

"You were crying," Stace persisted, very much the forthright Ingrid's daughter. "I saw you."

Oh, Stace, you'd cry too if you were watching a miracle unfold right before your eyes.

The look on Jake's face was unmistakable. Something had happened on that carousel, some wondrous incredible event that had cracked open his heart and let his daughter creep inside. Jenny was holding Jake's hand and talking animatedly while Jake leaned toward her, listening intently. They looked so perfect together. Right down to the way she tilted her head, Jenny was her father's daughter. People used to comment on the resemblance between Megan and her own father. Megan would beam with pride each time her handsome father pulled out the chair for her in a fancy restaurant and ordered up a Shirley Temple, "on the rocks." Despite everything there were still many happy memories and she wondered if it was fair to deny Jenny the chance to know her own father.

"I rode the pal-o-mino, Mommy." Jenny's face was aglow. "And Jake held the lea--" She stopped and looked up at Jake. "What was that called?"

"Remember your joke," he prodded. "The one about clouds...?"

"The reins!"

"Way to go, Jenny."

Jenny. Megan's heart flipped over inside her chest at the sound of their daughter's name on his lips. She was foolish to feel this way and she knew it. She and Jenny were doing fine on their own. They didn't need any complications.

"Aunt Meg." Stace tugged at her hand. "You said we could go see mommy and my brother now."

Jake met her eyes. "What about lunch?"

"Stace can't wait any longer. I figured we would stop by the hospital for a visit then go on to lunch from there."

"Aw, mommy, do we have to?" Jenny looked disgruntled.

"I thought you wanted to give Aunt Ingrid the flowers."

"After lunch," Jenny said, "not before."

"But you said we could, Aunt Meg!" Stace's big blue eyes welled with tears. "I want to see Charlie."

"Charlie's a dumb name for a baby," said Jenny. "I don't want to go."

"You're dumb!" said Stace.

"You are!"

"One more word, Jenny, and you're going home." It was just a kids' squabble but Megan was embarrassed that it was happening in front of Jake.

"I don't care," Jenny said, lower lip jutting forward. "I--"

Megan watched in amazement as Jake bent down and said something to Jenny in a quiet voice. Jenny's ears reddened and she shook her head. Jake said something more and Jenny nodded.

"I'm sorry," Jenny mumbled. "I want to see the baby, too."

Stace thought about it for a few seconds then smiled. "Okay."

They all started for the parking lot, the two little girls holding hands and walking a few feet ahead of Megan and Jake.

"I won't even ask what you said to her. A wise woman never questions magic."

"A little Aussie charm goes a long way."

"Apparently so."

"She's a smart kid. She didn't want to hurt Stace. She's just put out because Stace has a new brother."

Megan started to laugh. "And if her mother had told her that she would have thrown a tantrum right there in the middle of the mall. Children always seem to listen to strangers--"



#



Conversation stopped cold. If Megan had been looking for a way to bring him back to reality, she'd found it with one sentence.

A stranger, he thought as he drove toward the hospital. His blood ran through Jenny's veins and it didn't matter a damn in the scheme of things. He hadn't seen Megan's belly grow large with their child or felt the child move beneath his hand. He hadn't been there for Jenny's birth, heard her first cry, watched her take her first step. All of the sentimental milestones that marked a family's life and he hadn't been there for a one of them.

When Megan walked out on him she'd changed the course of three lives forever.

One day wasn't going to make a difference.

He'd walk away with a handful of memories and by this time tomorrow Jenny wouldn't remember he existed.



#



"I must say you look disgustingly beautiful for a woman who gave birth less than twelve hours ago." Megan embraced her partner. "You give the pain of childbirth a bad name."

"You should have seen me a few hours ago," Ingrid said with a laugh. "It was not a pretty sight."

In truth Ingrid never looked anything but splendid. And, Megan noted, never more lovely than she did right now with her newborn son cradled against her breast.

"Oh, Ingrid...." Megan's breath caught as she touched the infant's downy cheek. "He's wonderful."

"And hungry," said Ingrid. "I have a feeling this one is going to end up playing for the Dolphins in another few years."

"Stace is beside herself with excitement," Megan said. "All she could talk about was Charlie."

Jenny and Stace had already visited with Ingrid and the baby. Jenny's hand-picked flowers occupied a place of honor next to a splashy bouquet from Miguel's parents. A nurse had taken the girls for a trip to the nursery to look at the pair of twins who'd been born right after Charlie.

"So where is he?" Ingrid asked, moving Charlie to her left breast.

"In the waiting room. He didn't feel right coming in to see you."

"I'm disappointed. I wanted to meet him."

"That's probably one of the reasons he's in the waiting room."

"Don't tell me that gorgeous hunk of man is shy?"

"Who said he's a gorgeous hunk of man?" Megan countered.

"Stace couldn't stop talking about him," she said, kissing Charlie atop his head. "You lied, Meg. Her baby brother ran a poor second."

"I'm afraid Stace has a major crush on Jake." She sighed. "Jenny's not too crazy about him, though."

"That's not what she said to me." Ingrid met Megan's eyes. "She said he'd be a perfect daddy."

"That's not funny, Ingrid."

"It isn't meant to be. Jenny said that he told her he has a little girl of his own."

Megan buried her face in her hands. "I've made a hash of things, Ingrid. A week ago everything made sense, but now...."

"You're in love with him. It isn't a crime."

"I'm not in love with him."

"Right," said Ingrid, glancing down at her chest. "And I'm not breastfeeding." She paused a moment. "When are you going to tell Jenny that he's her father?"

Megan peered at Ingrid from between her fingers. "We're not."

"You're making a big mistake."

"Telling her would be a mistake. Jake has no intention of staying around to be part of her life. In fact he's leaving tonight for God-knows-where. Why complicate things for Jenny?"

"It seems to me they're complicated enough already."

"Back off, Ingrid," Megan said. "I think I know what's best for Jenny."

Ingrid stared her down. "And I think I know what's best for you. You're a lousy liar, Megan. Sooner or later you'll have to tell Jenny. Don't make it any more complicated than it already is."

"Thanks for the advice, Doctor Chavez. I'll keep it in mind."

"Being in love isn't a crime."

Megan glared at her friend. "If you weren't breastfeeding, I'd tell you to put up your dukes."

"Face it, Megan. It's Jake Lockwood and it always will be."

"That's a lousy thing to say."

"Like it or not, the three of you are a family. Why not give things a chance? Put all of your cards on the table and let fate decide." Ingrid waited. A broad smile spread across her face. "What's wrong, chica? No answer for that one?"

"I have an answer," Megan said, "and when I think of it I'll let you know."



#



Jake was flipping through a copy of American Baby when Jenny raced into the waiting room then skidded to a halt in front of him. "I saw twins in the baskets! One has red hair and the other's bald!" She grabbed his hand and tugged. "Don't you want to see them?"

"Haven't given it much thought, Jenny." Staring at babies under glass had never been high on his list.

"You have to see them."

"Did you see Charlie yet?"

"He's cute," Jenny allowed, "but the twins are cuter."

He glanced around. "Where's Stace?" The two of them were rarely apart.

"She went home with her aunt Carmen." She tugged at his hand again. "Come on!"

Jenny dragged him down the hall to the nursery where Jake looked through the glass at a smorgasbord of babies on display.

"Those snorkers are little," he said, staring at the sea of tiny faces. "I thought they'd be bigger than that."

Next to him Jenny giggled. "What's a snorker?"

He ruffled her hair. "You were a snorker when you were their age."

"Is that what they call babies in Australia?"

"Sometimes." He looked down at his daughter. "Wonder what you looked like when you were a snorker."

"I was bald," Jenny said proudly. "Mommy told me that she was afraid I'd be bald forever."

You missed it, mate, and there's no way you can ever get it back.

"Your mommy must have been relieved when all of your pretty red hair began to come in."

Jenny nodded vigorously. "She took pictures of me every single day."

She's your daughter, Lockwood, but you'll never be part of her life.

He nodded toward an older woman who'd joined them at the window.

"Charlie's crying!" Jenny pointed toward the third baby from the left.

Jake looked at the squalling infant. "How do you know that's Charlie?"

"Because it is," said Jenny. "I just know."

The woman next to him touched his arm. "Their names are posted on the foot of the isolettes."

Jenny straightened up to full height. "I can't read yet," she announced. "I know it's Charlie because he looks like Aunt Ingrid."

The woman looked from Jenny to Jake. "The spitting image of her daddy. Same beautiful gold eyes."

"He's not my daddy," Jenny said.

"Oh, come now," said the woman. "You're two peas in a pod."

Jake cleared his throat. "She looks just like her mother." Lame, but it was the best he could do on short notice. He turned to Jenny. "Why don't you go tell your Aunt Ingrid that Charlie's hungry. I'll meet you here in five minutes and we'll get burritos."

Jenny was gone in a flash of auburn hair.

"Your little girl certainly has been blessed in the looks department," the woman said then stopped. "But she isn't your little girl, is she?"

"No," he said, the lie tearing at his gut but he couldn't risk being overheard by Jenny. "She's not my little girl."

He looked up to see Megan striding toward him. "Where's Jenny?" she asked without preamble.

"Off to talk to Ingrid. Are you ready for lunch?"

Megan shot him a look of pure disgust, then wheeled and disappeared down the hallway.

"Quite a temper," said the woman. "I hope her little girl didn't inherit it."

"Lady," said Jake, "why don't you shut up?"



#



If Megan had entertained any fantasies of a happy ending for the three of them, Jake's comment to the curious woman at the nursery window brought them to a screeching halt.

She's not my little girl.

Jenny meant no more to him than Stace did. She was just another cute little girl with dimples who happened to find him as charming as he liked to think he was. You couldn't trust him. You couldn't depend on him. At the first sign of trouble he'd be so busy covering his own behind that he'd forget Jenny even existed.

He was no better than her father had been and she'd been the worst kind of fool for falling for his particular line of garbage when she should have known better.

She heard his footsteps behind her but she didn't turn around.

He caught up with her a few yards away from the nursery.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" he asked, grabbing her by the arm.

She pulled out of his grasp. "Nothing's wrong." "Don't lie to me, Meggie."

"Don't call me Meggie. Don't ask me what's wrong. This whole thing has been ridiculous and I'm putting an end to it now."

"Don't I have any say in it?"

"No," she said fiercely. "You don't have any say in it at all. I'm taking Jenny and we're going home."

"The hell you are."

"The hell I'm not. I heard you back there, Jake. You don't care about her. Why don't you just let her go before she becomes any more attached to you than she already is?"

"She's not attached to me. By tomorrow morning she'll forget I existed."

"Wishful thinking," she shot back, "or do you really know so little about human nature?"

"I know children. They're resilient. Right now all I am is an Aussie who told a few kangaroo stories and made her laugh."

"And that's enough for you."

"You say it as if you're disappointed."

"I'm not disappointed," she snapped. "This is what we agreed on. One day and you're out of her life."

"The day's not over yet."

She turned on her heel and stormed back toward the nursery. This time he didn't follow her. She could feel his eyes hot on her back but she didn't slow her pace or turn around. She didn't want him tangling up Jenny's life the way he'd tangled up hers but she hated the fact that he was willing to give up their daughter without a fight.

How could he not see how special she was? How miraculous? Didn't he want to know what she'd been like as a baby? Wasn't he even the slightest bit curious to know what chain of birthdays and Christmases and everyday living that had produced the little girl he knew as his daughter?

Once again she'd allowed her idiotic fantasies to get the better of her common sense. Fathers were made not born. The mysteries of genetics and bloodlines weren't enough to turn a man into a father.

And Jake was proof of that.

He didn't deserve Jenny, and Megan was going to put an end to this charade before it went any further.

Jenny was waiting by the elevators near the nursery.

"Honey." Megan's voice was shaky, unnaturally high. She took a deep breath. "Come on, Jen. It's time to go."

"Good," said Jenny with a big smile. "I'm hungry."

Megan pushed the down button.

"Where's Jake?" Jenny asked. "Can't he come with us, mommy?"

"Not this time, honey. Jake has something else to do." "But he said."

"Sometimes grownups can't do everything they say they will."

"That's not fair."

She stroked Jenny's hair. "I know, honey."

Everything about this was unfair, Megan thought as they rode down to the lobby. Whatever happened to happy endings? If this was a movie instead of real life she and Jenny would never have made it to the elevator before Jake came running after them, pledging his love and devotion.

"I want Jake to come with us," Jenny said.

"He has other things to do, Jen."

"Doesn't he like you?"

"I don't know, honey."

"He has to like you. He's our friend." That stubborn little lower lip jutted forward. "You said so."

"You didn't seem to like him very much yesterday," Megan pointed out. "You weren't very nice."

"He didn't like me," Jenny said, "but now he does."

That awful lump was back in Megan's throat. "How do you know?"

"I just do, that's all."

They rode down the rest of the way in silence.



#



Jake watched them step into the elevator as a feeling of emptiness settled inside his chest. Everything had gone wrong so quickly that he had the sense of standing in the aftermath of a tornado. He didn't notice the beautiful woman in a crimson silk dressing gown as she walked slowly toward him.

"You have to be Jake," she said, offering her hand. "Stace described you perfectly."

He looked down at her, bringing himself back to reality. "And you have to be Ingrid."

She nodded. "Where's Megan?" she asked, looking around.

"She left."

Ingrid's lips pursed. "She likes to do that."

"I've noticed."

"We had a loud...disagreement."

Jake met her eyes. "So did we."

"Stubborn, isn't she?"

"She has reason."

Ingrid took a good, long look at him. "You're gorgeous but you're not too bright, are you? The girl is still in love with you, Jake. She's never stopped being in love with you."

"She hates my guts." A woman in love didn't look at a man as if he were a failure at the things that counted.

"I don't like my husband all the time, but that doesn't mean I don't love him."

"Nobody's talking about love. We're talking about Jenny. She deserves a stable family and a real home." All the things that he'd never known, the things he'd said didn't matter.

Ingrid sighed. "I've never seen two people so willing to walk away from happiness in my life. Who said it had to be easy, Jake? Who said you wouldn't have to work hard to make it last?"

"You don't experiment with a child's life." He glared at Ingrid. "You have two kids. You should understand."

"You know," said Ingrid after a moment, "maybe the two of you are right. It takes guts to build a family. Maybe you and Megan just don't have what it takes after all."

Her words followed him into the elevator. They taunted him all the way down to the lobby. She thought he was a coward. A quitter. She never used the words but her meaning had been clear.

He'd never been a coward or a quitter in his life and yet he'd approached his own daughter with an uncertainty and caution that ran counter to everything he was. Everything he'd believed himself to be.

So what if his own father had been a failure at the game? That didn't mean Jake was cursed to follow suit.

And who gave a damn if Darrin McLean had cared more for himself than for his daughter? That was ancient history. She deserved better than that and Jake was the one who could give it to her, even if she went to the altar kicking and screaming.

Damn it, he thought, as he headed for the hospital exit. Ingrid was right. They'd been given a second chance and they were about to toss it aside like yesterday's newspaper. He and Megan and Jenny were a family and it was time they started acting like one.

He headed toward the parking lot. It's not over yet, Meggie. We're going to make this work...for us and for Jenny. It was time he took matters into his own hands.



#



"We don't have a car," Jenny pointed out as she and Megan stood on the sidewalk in front of the hospital. "How are we going to get home?"

"There's a taxi stand across the street," Megan said. So what if they had to eat spaghetti for the next month. The important thing was to put as much distance between her and Jake as she possibly could. She's not my little girl.... His words echoed in her brain again and again. She's not my little girl....

That was what she'd wanted, wasn't it? She wanted Jenny all to herself. No father to break her daughter's heart. For six years it had seemed so clear cut, so right, that she'd never questioned her position. Now the questions she'd tried so hard to avoid were crowding in on her, pushing against her heart, forcing her to acknowledge that the choices she'd made might no longer be the right ones. Not for her.

And especially not for Jenny.

"Mommy!" Jenny tugged at her hand. "You're walking too fast."

She stopped on the curb and glanced up and down the street. "Sorry, honey."

"Why are you in such a rush?"

"Aren't you hungry for lunch?" she asked with forced cheer. "I want to get us a cab and get home."

"But you said we can have burritos for lunch."

They stepped off the curb. "I'll make you burritos at home."

"Your burritos aren't as good as the ones at Pepito's."

"Thanks a lot," Megan said as they reached the middle of the street. "Maybe we can--"

The screech of brakes seemed to come from nowhere as the truck rounded the corner of the parking lot, barreling straight toward them.



#



Jake didn't know what made him turn around. The whine of the auto's engine. Jenny's scream. The bone-deep knowledge that everything he loved, everything that mattered was about to be taken away from him.

He saw the truck bearing down on them. He saw the desperation on Megan's face, the terror on Jenny's.

"Move!" he screamed as he vaulted over a parked car and ran toward them. "Move!"

But they were frozen in place by fear.

Faster...he had to run faster...his lungs burned...adrenaline...he needed that one last burst of adrenaline to push him over the edge....

The truck was a few yards away from them. He could smell the exhaust. A handful of seconds were all he had left.

With a cry that seemed to come from the depths of his soul he hurtled toward them and prayed it wasn't too late.