§ chapter Twelve §
After a sleepless night, Jacie walked into the lodge early in the morning to find Sloan wasn't anywhere around.
The way they had parted last night left her with a sick feeling inside. She needed to speak to him to set things right but she didn’t know what she would say. How do you explain your old boyfriend just happened to turn up at a most inopportune time? Would he believe her if she said their relationships had been over for a year?
She saw Renee when she returned to the stables.
"Renee," she said. "Have you seen Sloan?"
"He left before first light. He and Donny are bringing in the herds that have been pasturing all summer on the other side of the ranch. It's a full three hour ride out."
"Thanks, Renee."
She decided to take a short hike. Maybe some physical exercise would help still her rioting thoughts.
She had called deputy Bryant earlier and told him Brad was at the ranch. She couldn’t help thinking if Brad hadn’t shown up, she would have awakened this morning in Sloan's arms. The thought caused a trembling to begin in her hands. Damn! Nothing ever went smooth. She turned onto a footpath and concentrated as she climbed a steep incline full of roots and stones.
"Jacie! Wait up."
Brad ran up the hill behind her.
"Are you following me?" she demanded.
"I saw you leave the barn."
Brad wore a dark T-shirt, jogging shorts and running shoes on his feet. Apparently, he had packed several items with the intention of staying. She kept walking. He was the last person she wanted to see now.
He kept pace with her. His dark hair was brushed neatly back from his forehead where hers was wild and damp. That was the difference between them and Jacie supposed it always had been. While he remained cool and in control, she was disheveled, her emotions flying off in tangents.
"You know, Brad, I never thought about it before, but how do you always manage to look so...I don't know, never a hair out of place?"
He looked surprised, but then smiled as if she had paid him a compliment. "Habit, I guess."
She shook her head. "Even during the filming on Angel Falls. The wind was blowing, mist swirling through the air, and yet you looked the same. Look at me, I've probably never had a hair in place my entire life." She knew it was a minor difference, but it underlined all the bigger differences that had made their relationship fail. How had she gotten involved with him? Had she been so caught up in the image he presented that she forgot what was important?
"You're always beautiful," he said, his eyes sweeping appreciatively over her. "I've never seen you otherwise."
She shrugged and walked on again. "You'd be better off with someone like Bonnie."
Brad looked startled, then he frowned. "Why would you say that? Bonnie's a dragon. She'd try to rule any man dumb enough to fall for her. Anyway, I don't want her, I want you." He grabbed her arm and pulled her closer.
"Don't." She knew her protest wasn't as strong as it could be.
"I thought I’d let you know I’ve got a meeting this afternoon with someone from the sheriff’s department." His voice was low.
She tried to shrug nonchalantly. "Fine." She stepped back, jamming her hands in her back pockets.
"Are they trying to open an investigation again?" he asked curiously.
"It’s just routine questioning. I’ve had a couple accidents and they want to make sure the incidents aren’t related."
Brad narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean by accidents?"
Jacie started to explain and then paused. "Actually, I’m probably not supposed to be talking about it. I guess you can ask the deputy to fill you in." She hurried her pace.
"Where are you off to?" he asked. "Maybe we could meet up later and have a picnic for old time's sake."
"Bonnie told me about your car and your apartment," she said bluntly.
Losing his smile, he looked up at the trees sheltering them. "I've had some tough luck."
"She told me about those guys chasing you." He started to deny it, but she shook her head. "Are they after money?"
His shoulders slumped. She noticed the tired lines beside his eyes, the faint touch of gray in his hair.
"Yeah. Oh, Jacie, I'm in a bind―"
"How much?"
"Eighty thousand."
She could hardly believe what he’d just said.
"I was so sure my next movie would be a hit, I just needed a little more backing."
"So you let that loan shark back you again, just like before?" she asked incredulously.
He nodded. "Only the movie was a flop, and now I'm basically in hiding."
"Maybe if you talk to them―"
"I've stalled them as long as I can, it's the end of the road." His voice took on a new note of urgency. "Jacie, come away with me."
"What?" she asked incredulously.
"We could live out of the country, have a good life together. I've got contacts down in South America." He tried to take her hand, but she backed away, shaking her head.
"I’ve been to South America, remember? It wasn’t something I want to repeat. We're totally different, Brad. Maybe that's why things worked out the way they did. You go for the pomp and splendor and don't care if people get hurt along the way."
"The camera loves you, Jacie. We made a winning team. We can work together again."
She shook her head, the specter of too many shadows between them. "You take too many chances," she said somberly.
"Let's forget the past. Who says we can't? I know I've made some mistakes."
"I have to wonder where this change of heart comes from."
"It was a shock seeing you hurt so bad. I was suffering feelings of guilt over the accident. I‘ve always loved you."
He reached forward and jerked her into his arms. The suddenness of his action knocked the air from her chest. His dark head lowered. Jacie stared at his mouth, so close, the past sucking her in. Brad’s mouth covered hers, and she breathed him in. Like a whirlwind, their past flew through her thoughts. The good times, their fun times. . ..
Jacie stepped back, breaking the contact. "I don’t love you anymore." It was the truth.
"Jacie," he said quickly, his eyes alight, "it could be like it was before. We still care about each other."
"It's so easy to see now what I missed back then," she said, ignoring what he’d said. "I was so busy being angry and bitter, I missed the most important part. Everything you do is for show, it doesn't mean anything. I don't mean anything to you."
There was a mottling of red on his cheeks as he cleared his throat. "You know how we clicked, we were good for one another. Remember those nights before the jump? We talked about marriage―we went out and got a special license?"
"Which we didn’t use. I got hurt before that."
His eyes narrowed. "It was an accident―a terrible accident. You were in full control when your chute opened."
"Was I?" Jacie frowned. "I wake up at night sometimes, thinking I've missed something. There's a blank there where my memory should be. If only I had the chute so I could look at it. Those shroud lines shouldn't have failed the way they did."
"Are you saying someone messed with your parachute pack?" he asked angrily.
"I feel like I missed something."
"We'll never know what happened. In the hurry to airlift you out the parachute was left behind. It was nobody's fault, least of all yours. Stop worrying about the past. We owe it to ourselves to think about us instead."
"Us..." She shook her head. "I'll never forget the look on your face that day in the hospital, the way you didn't come back. I guess I'm not a forgiving person."
"Do you think this cowboy you're hooked up with would be any different?"
Without hesitation, she said, "Sloan would never leave me hurt and alone in a foreign country. He would do his best for me no matter what he felt personally. I have to know one last thing. Did you use that last scene in the movie?"
He had a harried look on his face. He spun around, rubbing the back of his neck. "Come on, Jacie, grow up. I had a lot riding on that film...it could make or break me. It was a chance to pay off those loan sharks, get out from under that debt. I couldn't just throw the scene away. Like it or not it was great footage."
"That was me in that tree, Brad. It was real, a situation gone wrong. I always did my skydiving drops to make them look like something more than what they were, but I never took chances until that last day."
"You worked with your brothers. Of course they wouldn't want you taking chances. But if you're in this business and you want to succeed, you have to stand out and sometimes that means taking a chance."
"You don't do jumps that leave the end result to fate. That's where I made the mistake. I got sloppy that day."
"Come on! You're the one who was always willing to go that extra bit."
"That's right, after I'd determined the risk and weighed everything in. I don't get a thrill putting myself in unnecessary danger."
"Working with me brought your temperature up, you can't deny it."
She admitted softly, "No, I don't deny it. I liked working with you in the beginning. There's one flaw, though, all you wanted was the money."
"What else is there?" he fairly shouted in exasperation. "We could have a great life together."
"I guess that says it all. Maybe that's why you're on the run," she said sadly, walking away.
"Jacie!" he called angrily. "I won't let you walk away!"
She shivered, even though the air was warm. "I already have." There was nothing else to say. She was finally free of the past. Free of her own demons.
The afternoon was almost gone when Sloan drove the last of the cattle through the gate. He rotated his shoulders back, trying to ease an ache that had grown steadily throughout the day. He figured he could finally call it quits. The entire herd was in the pen and everything was under control.
Everything except his life.
He’d had a lot of time during the night and the long day to think. A lot of time to reflect about Jacie. It irked him that Carlton had checked himself into a room at the lodge. Sloan didn't know for how long.
"I was right on one account," he muttered, his voice causing his horse's ears to twitch. "That Jacie is trouble." He pulled his hat off and dropped it onto the saddle horn. "She's trouble," he drawled, "but damned if I don't care. I'm not letting her go."
He knew he couldn't let her walk out of his life. It had taken him a while to come to that conclusion, but he had to at least give them a chance.
He unsaddled his horse, fed him and turned him out into the corral. He left the fading sunlight of the day and entered the barn. His eyes adjusted slowly to the shaded interior. He spotted Jacie sitting on a chair against the wall. Could he hope she was waiting for him?
"Hi," he said, resting his saddle on one hip, thinking how good she looked. His temperature soared as her glance ranged over him head-to-toe and a slow smile appeared as if she liked what she saw.
"Hello, Sloan, I was hoping you'd come by."
He dropped his saddle on an empty saddletree, then turned toward her, eyes narrowed. "Really? Where's Carlton?" he asked casually.
"Gone, I hope," she replied idly, tipping back her chair to rest her feet on a bale of hay.
He moved in closer. "He checked into the lodge last night." He sat on the bale next to her feet and encircled one of her slim ankles above her sneaker. "It was him, wasn't it, the guy who hurt you?"
She nodded, touching the toe of one foot against his leg. She let her attention drift to the right where the open doorway let in the last bit of sunlight. "The sun's setting. From where I sit, this is a front row seat on the world. The mountains seem on fire."
"It's the same most days," he told her. "This scene never changes. The season's maybe, but not the mountains. A person could get bored seeing the same thing day after day." He had to issue the warning. If anything came of a relationship between them, she had to know these were his roots.
She met his gaze unflinchingly. He knew what she was seeing. He had been out all night, hadn't shaved and dark stubble covered his cheeks and jaw. He saw her eyes change, almost sensed her breath quicken. Wanting curled inside him. He needed to wrap her in his arms and not let go.
He slid his hat from his head and rested it on his lap. He put his arm up to wipe the sweat from his forehead as he continued to watch her. For the first time since he had met her, he thought she looked relaxed, as if her life was finally on the right course. He wondered if Carlton showing up had brought about the change he sensed in her.
"Is Carlton an old boyfriend?" he finally asked.
"Yes. But it’s been over for a year." She hesitated, then added slowly, as if for emphasis. "I wasn’t sure it was over, even though I kept telling myself it was. I was afraid I might still love him. Today, I finally put it all to rest. There’s nothing I want or need from Brad. I’m free."
He digested that. "He brought your friend Bonnie with him," he said.
She nodded. "Actually, Bonnie let Brad thumb a ride off her."
He frowned. "Is she trying to get you and Carlton to patch things up?"
"I disabused both of them of that notion. We didn't part on the best of terms―but he knows where I stand."
He stood up and turned his back to her as he looked toward the empty paddocks. "What's her stake in any of this?" he asked flatly.
She came to stand beside him, close but not touching. He could feel the heat of her body, smell the scent of the flowery fragrance she wore.
"Bonnie's the one who introduced me to Brad last year. She thinks we should try to at least talk but I told her she's wasting her time. She left right away."
"Tell me about last year," he said.
"About a year and a half ago my family did business with a new car rental company owned by Bonnie.
"Back then my contact with her was casual at best. About that time Brad rented a vehicle from her. When he mentioned he was looking for a skydiving company to do aerial jumps, Bonnie told him about our business."
He was highly aware of her fingers playing with the snap placket on his shirt.
"I usually work with my brothers, but they were out of town on a long-term job. I let Brad persuade me to work for him. He had some backers to produce an adventure film. The initial shots were done in New York. I guess I pushed to the back of my mind that his methods sometimes bordered on carelessness."
Her fingers began to knead the fabric of his shirt. It was driving him crazy so he caught her fingers with his.
"You were seeing each other?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yes. I soon found out Brad had everything tied up in this movie. It wasn't long before people came on the set hounding him for money. He was banking on it being a success...literally.
"Things went okay until the last day of filming...the last scene..." Her voice grew hoarse.
He touched her cheek. "Listen Jacie, just go easy, if it's too much..."
She cleared her throat. "No, it's okay." She threaded her fingers together and looked up at the ceiling. "The scene was shot in Venezuela. It took us four days to reach the site. It was hot, almost steamy...the bugs were terrible." She grimaced and rushed on but he could feel the tension emanating from her. "I felt...uneasy." More softly, she added, "I had a bad feeling, although I couldn't pinpoint why. The night before I couldn't sleep."
"You said it took you four days?"
She nodded. "An entire day to travel by canoe, then we had to scout the falls, check out the terrain."
"Angel Falls?"
She nodded. "We were dropped by helicopter on a practice run. It was a thirty-two hundred foot parachute drop from the top of Angel Falls. A freefall. Strange as it sounds, even with what happened afterwards, I can still feel the initial rush as I leapt from the cliff top into the mist.
"I had done it a few years back with my brothers. It's the extreme in skydiving freefall. Anyway, Brad was getting in deeper and deeper. Two men followed the crew to Venezuela."
She drew a heavy breath. "Brad wanted a really dramatic, heart-stopping shot." Her voice dropped, grew husky. "I must have overlooked something. I waited until the last possible moment to open my chute."
He began to get that sick feeling in his gut, the same feeling he’d had watching the video of her jump. "But something went wrong," he said.
She frowned. "Some of the parachute lines failed. To this day I don’t know what happened. Sometimes I think I should have gone over everything again. I packed the chute myself, checked it."
"Did someone sabotage the chute?"
"I don’t know."
"Maybe Carlton rushed you..." he said tightly.
"Con said much the same thing. When I worked with my brothers, they always inspected and double-checked everything after I had checked it out.
"Brad told me we were off schedule, the light was failing. I shouldn't have jumped without checking my pack again. My brothers had drilled the rules of survival into my head. I was as much at fault."
"Your chute never opened?"
"The pilot chute―that's the first small one, it pulls the larger chute out―it opened, but the shroud lines holding it to my harness broke free. It collapsed. I had to manually open the main chute. When you’re in a freefall, you can do acrobatics. That was the plan, a course of acrobatics to make it look like I was out of control.
"When the chute opens, you pull on the shroud lines, they call it spilling air, and you can control the direction of your landing. I think some of the lines on my main chute were faulty, too, but everything happened so fast.
"I had the barest minimum of control, just enough to land in a belt of trees. I must've slammed my leg on the way down, but I don't recall. My chute held me fast. I was up there awhile before they airlifted me out."
"Take it easy, Jacie."
As tears spilled down her cheeks he pulled her down with him onto the bale of straw. He wiped her face with a handkerchief. She gave a loud sniffle and drew away from his chest. "Sorry, I guess it's still a bit close to home."
"Don't apologize."
She took a deep breath. "Actually, I feel better. I haven't talked much about it, not even to my family." She leaned her head against his shoulder, a grimace contorting her face. "God, I've shut them all out."
"Sometimes when you're hurt, you shut out the ones who want to help."
"While I hung in the tree all I could think about was how Con was going to get on my case big time. He's always the first one to say 'I told you so.' My family didn't care much for Brad."
"And did he?"
"Get on my case? No. He never said a word. One day I woke in the hospital in Venezuela and Con was there. He held me and didn’t say anything."
"What about Carlton?"
"He came to the hospital once. He was scared worse than anyone. I could see it in his eyes. He was sweating bullets." She took a shaky breath. "I understood some of that fear, I felt it myself. I was hurt pretty bad, I was in a foreign country. No one spoke English. Brad never came back. He wiped out any trust I had in him. When I returned to the States, the production manager of Brad's company sent a lawyer to my parent’s house. They wanted me to sign a release saying I wouldn't sue."
He muttered a curse.
"I didn't sign it." She smiled sadly. "I guess I was trying to get back at him. I thought if I made him think I might sue, I'd pay him back. The company's insurance carrier settled a sum on me. It sits in the bank."
He hesitated, then let out a long breath. "Who else knows about the money?"
She shrugged. "My family, the insurance carrier and Brad."
"Maybe that's where we should look."
"Brad would have nothing to gain. If something happened to me, everything would go to my family, my parents. My settlement would pay off the debt hanging over Brad's head, but I can't believe he'd hurt me."
"There's something else you should know," he told her. "I spoke to the vet who was here last week."
"Is Dandy all right?"
"He seems fine, but they’re monitoring him for liver damage." He paused, clenching his jaw, knowing he had to tell her the rest. "The horse was given a chemical which affects the central nervous system."
"They could have killed Dandy―"
"Or you," he added grimly, running a hand over the back of his neck. "Someone knew what they were doing."
She twisted around and lifted her fingers to his cheek and rubbed the stubble there. He pulled back with a groan. "I'm a mess," he said. "I've been out most of the night. The weather-casters were predicting a big storm and I wanted to make sure the livestock were sheltered. Besides that, I needed time to think."
"I wish you had let me know," she told him softly. "I'd have ridden out with you."
He raised a brow. "After what happened last night, I wasn't sure what to think. It wouldn't have been much fun for you, it drizzled on and off all night and the cows were pretty spooked."
"Well, it would have been worth it to be with you. I spent a pretty lousy night too, though at least I was dry and warm."
Slowly, he began to smile. "Next time I go out I'll make sure to let you know. How about I get cleaned up, and we go to town for dinner?"
"Actually, I'd love to do that, Sloan." She paused and ran her tongue over her lips. "Some other time, though," she added with a slow, secret smile. She stepped away from him and ran her fingers over the front of his shirt, circling the snaps one by one. "How about I cook dinner?"
"Can you cook?" he asked, his mouth dry as one of her fingertips traced a design on his skin.
"Some, not much. I know how to use a can opener and the microwave."
"I'd love for you to cook for me," he said.
"How hungry are you?"
He dropped his voice, seeing the desire in her eyes, feeling it in his own body. "I'm starved."
"Me, too," she said.
He reached for her hand, recalling with vivid clarity that first day they had met when she’d parachuted into the ranch. He had offered her his hand then also.
"I need a shower and change," he said.
"I’ll walk with you."
Sloan savored the feeling of having her hand trustingly in his. He sensed the rightness of hanging onto Jacie. He couldn’t think right now if it would last longer than one night, but he was willing to take a chance on them.
Unable to resist any longer, he put his arms around her, his fingers splaying across the slim bones of her back. "God! You feel good. I don’t want to let go."
"Then don’t," she said simply.
He cupped her face with hands that shook, his kiss slow and lingering. Her body felt on fire.
They left the barn just as the sun was setting, the sky a fiery red burst across the mountains. It felt like a whole new day.