The last thing he wanted was to make this a horrible experience for her and have her shut down like she did every time he tapped her in training. What if the same happened during sex?
The silence in the car was suffocating, so he flipped on some music. Talking seemed pointless. They were both wound tight, knowing they were heading into a huge unknown, and what could possibly end up as an epic failure.
He wanted Kelsey—had from the moment he’d watched her go apeshit on that bag. If she couldn’t go through with it tonight, then he’d be patient. That was what she needed most.
After he pulled into her driveway and cut the engine, he turned to her. “You sure about this?”
She breathed a deep sigh. “Let’s not make this awkward, okay? If it happens tonight, it happens. If it doesn’t, that’s okay, too.”
So she’d been thinking the same things he had. A part of him was relieved about that. Took a little pressure off.
“Then let’s go in and hang out.”
She smiled. “I’d like that.”
As they entered the house, she tossed her keys and cell phone on a side table and walked into the kitchen. “Would you like a beer?”
“No wine?”
Nose scrunching, she said, “I don’t do wine. Gives me a raging headache.”
He chuckled. “Beer sounds great.”
Seconds later, clacking glass sounded in the background then she returned with two beer bottles, one in each hand. She handed him one and fell back on the couch beside him. An awkward silence enveloped them as she took a long draw off her beer.
Grimacing, Kelsey finally looked at him. “This is weird, right?”
“Weird” was one way to describe it. He’d also use “tense” and “uncomfortable.” The exact opposite of how things should be going. That needed to change. Pronto. He took the beer from her and set it on the table along with his. “Let’s make it unweird.”
Cupping the back of her neck, he brought her mouth to his in a gentle, sweet kiss. As he suspected she would, she stiffened. He immediately started to pull back, but she clamped both hands on his cheeks. “Don’t. I’m okay.”
Smiling, he kissed her again a little deeper. Inch by inch, she melted onto him, her hand coming to rest on his chest. He covered it with his, pressing it harder into his skin. Just like the other night, he loved how she fit against him, loved how it felt to be touched by her.
As he slowly traced her lips with his tongue, Kelsey strained closer to him. Seeing that she was completely into it, he grabbed the back of one of her knees and tugged her over his lap so she straddled him. She broke the kiss.
“You have total control,” he whispered to her, concerned by the serious way she stared down at him.
She traced his cheekbone with her finger. “You sure you’re up to this?”
Seeing that the worry was over his bruising and not what they were doing, he ground up against her. “Sore muscles aren’t going to stop me tonight.”
“Just checking.” Then, leaning over, she met his lips again. Her hair teased his skin, and he slipped his fingers into the silky mass. He loved her hair.
As her hips moved against his, his cock responded, straining up toward her. Instantly, she sat back and looked away from him, bottom lip caught between her teeth.
“Hey?” he said softly, brushing her hair back. “If we’re moving—”
“No. I just—” Again that bottom lip disappeared. “Damn it,” she whispered.
Pushing out a long breath, she closed her eyes and yanked her shirt over her head. Purple lace covered breasts thrust forward. “Fuck.”
All he wanted to do was bury his face between the plentiful mounds.
“I know. It’s ugly.”
What the hell was she talking about? There was absolutely nothing ugly about the gorgeous display in front of him.
“Lance, please say something.”
He forced his attention away from her generous chest and up to her face. The stark vulnerability in her eyes struck him hard in the gut. How could she ever feel this insecure about the way she looked? The woman was breathtaking.
Then her hand slid over her flat stomach, drawing his attention back down. A long, jagged scar curved across her stomach right under her rib-cage.
“Good God,” he breathed out.
“You didn’t notice it when I took my shirt off?”
“Baby, I was too busy looking at your boobs. What happened?”
“My spleen ruptured from the… I had to have it removed.”
Lance’s fury rose again as he traced the tough skin with his finger, causing Kelsey to flinch away.
The fact she did so only pissed him off more, not at her, but at that motherfucker who’d beaten her. “Don’t do that. I want to touch every part of you.”
Tears suddenly brightened her eyes, and she blinked rapidly. “It doesn’t gross you out? It does me.”
“That’s because it reminds you of something bad. Do you want to know what I see when I look at it?”
“What?” she asked hesitantly.
“A strong as fuck woman who’s even more beautiful than she was two minutes ago, and she was pretty fucking hot then.”