chapter Six
Jay felt Zack’s approach in the jagged, discordant power that flowed ahead of him, but Eden’s cousin didn’t say a word until he’d dropped a cardboard package of beer down hard enough to rattle the glass bottles within. “Thought you might be thirsty.”
Jay finished hammering in the nail he’d placed to secure the barn window casement. “Thanks. I could use one.”
Zack claimed one bottle and sat in one of the folding chairs situated among the building supplies. “Fair warning. It’s a bribe.”
Interesting. Jay eyed him as he dropped to the other chair. “What do you need?”
“That wolf who’s following me around.”
Fletcher couldn’t have already made an ass of himself, but maybe Zack was looking for confirmation more than anything else. “I asked him to keep an eye on you,” Jay confessed.
Zack stared at empty air and took a slow sip of his beer. “So he doesn’t want to be my new best friend.”
“You sound relieved.”
“Don’t really want a new best friend.” Another sip. “Mine hasn’t been dead all that long.”
Lorelei had explained—in hushed, sad tones—about Zack’s roommate, Noah, and his attempts to hold the pack together after Zack’s abduction and supposed death. “I’m sorry.”
Zack shrugged, his gaze still fixed on that empty bit of space, but not like he was staring forward, unseeing. He could have been looking at something—or someone. “I lost a lot more than just Noah. I’d be watching me like a hawk too.”
Chilling words, nearly the last ones Jay wanted to hear. “You seem to be doing okay, all things considered.”
“All things considered. Maybe I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. Never thought I’d end up back here.”
“Can’t say as I blame you.” The farm was beautiful, but it wasn’t peaceful. It wasn’t settled. “You’ll get past it. You’ve got a lot of good things going.”
“I do, do I?”
“Sure. Everyone’s relatively safe here, and you’ve got Eden and Austin looking out for you.”
Zack’s mouth twitched toward a smile. “Eden looking out for me. God, that makes me feel old.”
“Not the kid you remember, huh?” Jay sobered. “I would have talked to you about Fletcher first, but I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. Alpha to alpha, I mean.”
The smile fell away, leaving Zack’s gaunt face blankly exhausted. “If there’s anything alpha left in me, it’s needing to keep them safe. Lorelei, Mae, Quinn…Kaley. They’re the important ones.”
And yet he’d been the glue holding them all together. Jay shook his head. “You don’t really think it’s that simple, do you?”
“It has to be, for now. I haven’t got a damn thing left to give.”
Oh, but there was plenty his pack still wanted from him—one young alpha in particular. “You think Kaley’s going to want to accept that? Or understand it, even if she does?”
That snared the full force of Zack’s attention. Dark eyebrows pulled together over narrowed eyes, and Zack’s power bubbled up. “Kaley’s young, and still fairly new. She’ll learn, and she’ll move on.”
The words carried a thread of desperation, but Jay only nodded. “Maybe.”
“She will.”
“I heard you.”
“Aren’t exactly acting like you believe me.”
“Because I don’t,” Jay answered. “I’m not real well acquainted with Kaley, not yet, but she doesn’t seem like the type to let stuff go. Not if it’s important to her.”
Zack ground his teeth together audibly. “I’m the only wolf she’s ever known who’s stronger than her. That’d confuse anyone who’s new.”
There was hope for the man yet, if he could come to his alpha with his tail tucked between his legs and still manage to get in a dig about Eden. “I’m not railroading your cousin, Zack.”
“Better not be.” Zack’s smile returned, and this time it held a vicious edge. “Can’t say I wasn’t wondering if that was part of the reason you sent Fletcher after me. Get him out of the way and all.”
“I’m not that manipulative.” Jay sipped his beer. “Or insecure.”
“Good for you.” After a moment, Zack shrugged. “I don’t care if he babysits me. As long as he’ll help with the repairs.”
“Fletch isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty.”
“And if I snap? He’ll do the dirty work there too?”
An almost hopeful question—completely out of place, considering what he was asking. “You want to know if Fletcher would kill you?”
Zack finished his beer and reached for a second one. “Someone better be willing to, if the worst happens. You wouldn’t have him watching me if you didn’t know that.”
“Information,” Jay countered. “Got to know if someone’s headed off the rails.”
“And when they’re already there?” Scowling, Zack twisted the cap off his beer and flung it aside. “I don’t need a f*cking pep talk. I need to know you’ve got the balls to do what it takes to keep my people safe.”
Eden would hate him, not to mention the rest of Zack’s pack. “I’ll do what I have to do.” It was the closest Jay could come to a promise, and it was true. If there was no other way, no hope left… “But I will do it. I won’t have anyone else handle my shit work. And if you think me saying this is a free pass to give up, think again, pal.”
Zack bared his teeth in a grin that stopped a hairsbreadth short of outright challenge. “Can’t give up, can I? It’s not over yet.”
“Not even close.” Jay snagged another beer. “But it won’t be over when we beat Memphis back, either. That’s just the start.”
“Not really looking that far ahead right now. One foot in front of the other…unless I fall off the path.” Zack stared at Jay. “Don’t let me hurt them. Swear to me.”
“I swear.”
But the whole conversation left him on edge, disquieted. Not because of what Zack was saying, but because of the unspoken implications. The feeling Jay couldn’t shake that, no matter what he said, the other wolf just needed to know he could slip away, guilt-free.
Jay’s couch was starting to feel more like home than any place in her own house ever had.
It was the smell, Eden decided as he settled next to her. His scent had become the one thing she associated with safety. The tense muscles of her neck began to relax as she inhaled deeply and let her wolf rise to the surface. Not enough to spill free, but enough to loosen her limbs as she twisted to rub her cheek against his shoulder. “This is what gets me through the day. This moment right here.”
“Good.” He slipped his arm around her shoulders. “Did you and Fletch buy out the grocery store?”
“Just about. And the fabric store, and the hardware store.” She smiled. “Is he secretly a prince?”
“More like very well-managed, very old money.”
“Well, he was very generous in spending it.” Closing her eyes, Eden traced her fingers over Jay’s chest. “Mae smiled for the first time when she saw the sewing machine we brought home. Did you know she’s an artist? She does a lot of different things, but one of her specialties is textiles. I guess that was part of her and Kaley’s plan. The reason they were coming to the farm to begin with.”
He hummed softly. “I thought it was Zack’s idea to come to the farm.”
“It was Zack’s idea to come to this farm. Kaley told me that she and Mae had been making plans for a while. Mae has a pretty decent business selling soaps and lotions, but she also makes hand-spun, hand-dyed yarn, and they thought they could expand by raising and shearing their own animals.”
Jay sat up a little straighter and squinted down at her. “What, you mean like sheep?”
She bit back a grin. “Alpacas, actually. Apparently there can be good money there, if you know how to raise animals and how to sell the fiber.”
“Who knows how to raise them?”
“Kaley. She’s familiar with the requirements.” Jay had a furrow between his eyebrows, and she couldn’t resist the urge to smooth it away, stroking her finger down the bridge of his nose with a smile. “I know it sounds pretty out there, but they’ve given it a lot of thought. They have money set aside, and supplies squirreled away in a storage unit outside of Memphis. That’s one of the things they wanted me to ask—if you and the men could clear it out and bring everything back. They didn’t have time after Zack escaped.”
Jay nodded his agreement. “If we can, we’ll get it.”
“I understand.” A shiver of foreboding swept over her, and she pressed her forehead to his cheek and tried to banish the sudden chill with the warmth of his body. “I hate that you have to go at all.”
He held her closer and spoke low against her ear. “The only other option is to let them come here.”
Yes, the wolf whispered deep inside her. Let the enemies come to them. Let her fight as an alpha should. Let her defend her pack.
Only her pack had enough scars already, and she had no experience with fighting. She swallowed the urge and nodded. “I know. I still hate it, but I understand.”
He stroked her hair. “I asked Shane about your early change. He said he’s never heard of anything like that happening without magical interference, but he’s going to do some research.”
Shane’s computer had proven to be a treasure trove of supernatural lore and ancient texts, each book lovingly scanned and catalogued with a thoroughness that had piqued her curiosity and earned her professional respect. If an explanation for her current situation couldn’t be found in the endless pages of information he’d amassed…
Unease crawled over her skin. She focused on Jay’s fingers in her hair and on taking slow, steady breaths. “My vacation and personal days will take me through the full moon, but after that I have to go back to work or lose my job. Do you think I’ll be steady enough by then?”
“It’s a very good possibility, though there is another one.”
Judging by the tightness in her chest, she’d need it. “What is it?”
“It’s old magic, something the witch Shane contacted will be able to do.” He stroked her hair again, the touch followed this time by a wave of soothing power. “A Guide bond, a connection between a new wolf and a mentor, of sorts. It can help balance you until you get back on your feet.”
A bond. She already felt like she had one with him, a connection that made every touch sizzle or soothe far more than it should. How much more intense would such a thing be with magic? Or maybe helping her process the overwhelming sensory input was the point. “How does it work?”
“It links us together so that I absorb all the excess power that causes you problems. I can do it already, but the bond makes it effortless.”
She heard the words, and heard the meaning under them. Us. I. “You want to be my Guide?”
He blinked, as if the question startled him. “Yeah, I do. I mean, your choices are limited anyway because of your strength. But…yes.”
Eden smoothed her thumb over his lower lip with a self-conscious smile. “And it won’t be complicated by how much time I spend wanting to kiss you?”
He cleared his throat and adopted a serious expression, though the way his lips kept curving up at the corners ruined it. “Actually, it’s not uncommon for the relationship to include a sexual component.”
“Really now?” It wasn’t the wolf who prodded her to slide into his lap. She straddled his thighs and rested her hands on his shoulders, fighting to keep her own expression deadly serious. “Jay Ancheta, are you trying to lure me into some kinky sex magic?”
He held up both hands. “Hey, I said you had limited choices, not none. There’s Fletcher, Colin, even Shane.” The words were easy, but a thread of tension ran through them.
Her wolf surged to the surface, demanding to exploit his unexpected weakness. Make him jealous, make him fight for the right to possess. Eden slapped her down hard enough to make them both reel from the internal battle before framing Jay’s face with her hands.
“You’re already my guide to werewolf things in all the ways that matter,” she whispered. “If it’ll make it easier, I want to be bound to you. Kinky sex magic would be a bonus, as long as you want to go there with me. Because I’m mostly trying to keep from ripping your clothes off right now.”
He rasped her name and wrapped his hands around her waist. “Sex is too dangerous right now. You don’t have the control for it, not yet. You haven’t even faced your first full moon.”
“No sex?” His hands were strong. Even his innocent grip felt dirty, felt more like challenge and invitation than caution. “That’s not fair.”
His fingers slipped under her shirt to stroke her back. “It’s not?”
“No.” Just one little rock to align her hips over his, and she wanted to groan in relief when she ground down against his erection. Arousal accompanied so many of his touches that it had become like background static, an embarrassing state of almost-turned-on that flamed into need when his skin brushed hers.
She could come like this. It wouldn’t take much. A little grind, riding him and the thrill of holding the dominant position while the strength of his fingers warned her he could take it away at any moment.
She wanted him to try.
He growled and scratched his nails down her spine. “Eden…”
Too gentle. She bared her teeth and grabbed his shirt, winding her fingers in the fabric before jerking. It ripped with a satisfying noise, revealing his beautiful, glorious chest.
He caught her mouth in a rush of teeth and tongue, a kiss that pleasured as much as it controlled. His fingers dropped to her hips, tightened and rocked her harder against his body. His teeth scraped her lips, dug in. Dominance. It was in every line of him, every movement, in the way he’d taken control of her.
It made her hot. Hungry. Power rose inside her, meeting dominance with strength, with challenge. She tore her mouth from his and tilted her head back, panting for breath. “Is this us not having sex?”
He released a shaky sigh. “Much more and your wolf’s going to want out. It’s nothing to play around with, Eden. It hurts.”
out out out
Eden pressed both hands to her chest as the wolf surged to the surface, like the beast could fly out of their human skin. “Can I change when it’s not the full moon? Can I choose to change?”
“Yes,” he whispered against her throat. “But you have to make sure it’s you choosing to do it, not her fighting her way out.”
“Oh, she’s fighting. Seems like she always is.” Eden closed her eyes and tried to quiet her body, but it was too late to dial back arousal. Jay’s breath skidding over her throat sent shocking tingles straight to her core. “The first night, you did something. You bit the back of my neck and she stopped fighting.”
“It wasn’t the bite.” Jay brushed his lips over the hollow of her throat, and the tingles spread, solidified into a feeling of well-being, of rightness. It felt like dropping into a soft chair after a long day, like slipping between cool sheets at night, every knot in her body unraveling as her toes curled. She moaned, wallowed in it.
Jay’s low growl subsided into a pleased rumble. “See? Once we’re bound together, that’s all the time. That easy.”
Eden dropped her face to hide in the crook of his neck and let her body relax against his. “Soon?”
“As soon as this mess with Memphis is done.”
A few days, at most. Eden listened to the strong, swift beat of his heart and let go of the last of her anticipation. Sex could wait. Probably should wait, considering how much of it seemed tied up in a feral sort of insanity.
They could be something more than urges. “Jay?”
“Hmm?”
She didn’t know the words for what she wanted to say. She wasn’t sure they existed. “They’re ours, aren’t they? The pack? They feel like mine. You feel like mine.”
His chest shook under her cheek, a soft chuckle that washed over her, warm and sweet. “Ours. We’ll take care of them, honey. I promise.”