CHAPTER NINETEEN
I breathed a sigh of relief as we left the bustling dinner with Blake’s family and escaped to the beach below. I left my sandals on the steps, and Blake and I walked barefoot along the shore as the sun began to set.
“Sorry. They’re completely crazy,” he mumbled.
“It’s okay. They’re really sweet actually.” A quiet happiness bubbled inside me at the unexpected turn this evening had taken. “This may sound strange, but why didn’t you introduce me to your parents before? You know, when things weren’t so messed up between us.”
“Like Heath said, they’re nosy and overwhelming. On one hand, I didn’t really want to share my time with you, and on the other hand, I knew that once I let them loose on you, it was all over.”
My heart sank a little. “All over?”
“Now that they’ve met you, they’re going to be hounding me nonstop about you. Don’t think for one second this is going to be your last Landon family dinner.”
I laughed. “Listen to you, Mr. Angst. You make them sound so burdensome. You’re incredibly lucky.”
Our eyes met and he took my hand as we walked. “I don’t mean it like that. They’ve always been great. I guess I was too caught up in being with you to realize that you’d probably enjoy this a lot more than I typically do.”
“I don’t have much to compare it to, but I’d give anything to have a family like yours, you know? Don’t ever take them for granted, Blake. Everything can change in an instant.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
Ahead of us, at the edge of the enormous property, stood a gazebo. We walked up some old wooden steps from the beach. Inside, the structure was ornately built and offered an impressive view of the skyline. Daylight was fading now, and the ocean air cooled around us. I sat close to Blake, and he wrapped an arm around me as we settled back to take in the scenery. I rested my head on his shoulder as he traced circles down my arm.
“You were right about Risa,” I said after a while.
“Yeah. Did you find what you were looking for?”
“I think so. My question is, how did you?”
He stayed silent.
“Blake.”
He sucked in a slow breath that whistled through his teeth. “You’re not going to like it.”
“So what? Tell me.”
He pushed the errant strands of hair away from his face only to have them fall back. “I hacked your email account.”
I stilled. “What?”
“I was worried about you.”
“That’s a major invasion of privacy, Blake! Why—”
“Trust me, I wasn’t the only one worried about you. Marie even reached out to me at one point to grill me about what I did to upset you so much.”
My jaw dropped. Marie. Damn it all.
“I just wanted to take a spin through your mail to see if there was anything I should be concerned about. While I was in there, I checked out Risa’s and Sid’s, purely out of curiosity since you’d decided to shut me out of the business for the time being.”
“And you saw her messages to Max?”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“I don’t understand why that specific information would be helpful to him though.”
“The investment company you told me about…the one who’s sending Trevor fat checks? It took me a while to get past all the layers of corporate privacy, but I finally tracked down the people behind it.”
“And?”
“Seems like our friend Max is using the company as a front to fund Trevor’s efforts. He’s basically been paying Trevor to run this group and be a full time pain in my ass.”
“But the attacks stopped.”
“I’m not totally sure why, but my guess is that once he had an in with Risa, compromising the site was possibly doing more harm than good. Wasted effort maybe.”
“Why would he need our data though?”
“I have no idea. Have you spoken to her yet?”
“No, not yet. I’m not sure if she’ll tell me when she finds out she’s getting fired though.” I thought for a moment, trying to piece everything together. “Did she reach out to you for the meeting today?”
“No, I contacted her.”
“Oh.”
“I wanted to feel her out. With very little effort, I’d convinced her to leave your company and come work for me, and we’d made plans for a more intimate dinner this weekend. She was willing to jump ship, screw your ex, and finagle herself into my business before we’d even gotten the bill.”
“You’re an a*shole.” I started to move away but he pulled me back.
“What? I was testing her. Obviously I’m not interested. Relax, baby.”
“Why would that be so obvious? A few days before that Sophia was all over you, and I didn’t see you protesting.”
“You don’t need to worry about Sophia.”
“Right.”
I stood up and walked to the other side of the gazebo. I steadied my hands on the rail, holding on tightly as anger rushed over me anew.
“Sophia was here on business, like I said. Outside of our shared stake in her company, there’s nothing there beyond friendship.”
I turned to face him. “Maybe for you, but she’s borderline obsessed with you. Do you know how happy she must have been to know that I was out of the picture finally? She’s probably counting down the days until she can be your little submissive again. And for the record, I don’t appreciate you talking about our sex life with her.”
His brows drew together. “What do you mean?”
“Sophia told me about your little heart-to-heart.” I tried not to sound as bitter about it as I felt, but I couldn’t help it. That he’d confided in her hurt me more than I wanted to admit.
“Did she say something to you?”
“Yeah, she seemed really broken up that I was seemingly unable to satisfy your kink factor.” The sarcasm was coming out thick now.
He blew out a breath. “I’m sorry.”
“I know I might not be the most experienced person with this ‘lifestyle’ as she calls it, but I never thought you’d be one to kiss and tell, especially to her.”
“She asked about you. I told her we’d broken up, and she asked if you were submissive. I didn’t go into details, but I was kind of a mess at the time. She was trying to be a friend.”
“A friend? Are you kidding me?”
“I get it. You’re jealous. She’s jealous of you too, but I can’t cut her out of my life. You’re bound to run into her now and then with our business dealings.”
I started to leave.
He bolted up to stop me. “Erica, wait.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Let’s go back to the house.”
He stood at the entrance and blocked me. “I didn’t know what to think about why you left, all right? I thought maybe I was too rough with you that last night we were together, and that’s not a conversation I can run by too many people. Frankly, I’m still worried that is why you left.”
The memory of that night invaded my thoughts. The intensity of letting him hurt me, of desperately wanting him to. What if I take things too far, and it’s something we can’t come back from? His words echoed through me. If he’d thought that’s why I left, I struggled to imagine how much that would have hurt him to believe it.
I shook my head. “That’s not why.”
He seemed to relax a little. “I can see now that I shouldn’t have talked to her about it, and I’m sorry. From now on, she’s completely out of our personal lives. No matter what happens.”
“If you’re such great friends, was that also why she was all over you at the charity dinner?”
He scowled and half turned away, looking past me. “Christ, Erica. You know, you broke up with me, and I’m the one explaining myself here.”
He had a point. I took a breath and tried to adopt a less accusatory tone. “You said you wanted to be with me, no matter what, so if that’s something I’m going to consider, I think I should know what’s really going on between you two.”
He hesitated, his gaze fixed on me as if he were searching. I started to worry. That familiar sickness spread as I imagined what they’d done together. And I’d have no one to blame but myself. Whatever had happened between them had happened because I’d pushed him away.
“When she realized we weren’t together, she didn’t pass up a chance to try to hook up. I shot her down, of course. No matter what was happening between you and me, I wouldn’t ever go back to her, Erica. Our relationship was never exactly fulfilling, and you know how she is to some extent. Try to imagine being in a relationship with that. She’s a nightmare.”
I couldn’t argue. I often wondered how they’d managed to be together as long as they had, but people did change, for better or worse. Maybe she hadn’t always been as much of a malicious cunt when they were together, but I didn’t want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
“So…” I cocked my head, waiting for him to continue.
“Since she and I broke up, she’s always been physical like that with me. Honestly, I never thought much of it until you showed up that night, and by then it was obvious how jealous you were. I took a gamble.”
“You wanted to make me jealous.”
“Nothing else was working.” He brushed my cheek with his fingertips. “Seems like making you insanely jealous does the trick though. I’ll have to remember that next time you decide we need ‘space.’” He gestured with air quotes.
I caught myself smiling, but it soon faded. Blake was talking about all these things like they were in the past tense. Our problems weren’t nearly behind us yet.
I searched for the right words. “Blake…”
He hushed me. “I have a feeling you’re about to tell me something I don’t want to hear, so how about you let me kiss you instead?”
Angling over my lips, he did, and I let him. I savored the sweetness on his tongue. I breathed him in with the salty air and let the ocean wash away all the things we didn’t want to hear or talk about. We stood there for what seemed like forever, simply kissing. We let our hands roam, eagerly but not frantically. For now, I was content to be this close. I could do this for hours.
The night had gone almost completely dark, and voices approached.
“Hey, lovebirds,” Heath called. “Mom’s going to come looking for you soon. Dessert’s ready.”
Blake groaned and rolled his eyes. I laughed and nuzzled into his shoulder, bashful and entirely too wound up to be presentable.
“I need a minute,” I whispered.
“No kidding. I’m so hard it hurts.”
“Mmm, I know the cure for that.” I slid up against him, his erection straining against his jeans at my hip.
“You’re seriously not helping. I can’t have her catch us out here.”
I took a breath and a reluctant step back. The ocean waves crashed closer to the retaining wall as the tide came in. Alli and Heath walked hand in hand back toward the house. I was so happy that she was coming back. We could do this more often, all of us together. Maybe.
“Where did you two wander off to?” Catherine asked when we got back to the house.
“They were making out in the gazebo,” Heath blurted.
Blake punched him in the shoulder. Heath retaliated until they were laughing and grappling on the floor of the deck like wild animals.
“Boys! Boys! My lord, seriously. Greg, come control these boys!” Catherine flushed, a mix of laughter and embarrassment flashing across her features.
Alli, Fiona, and I were doubled over with laughter as the two continued their wrestling match a safer distance from where we sat. Greg emerged with a giant pot of water and dumped it on them.
They cursed and finally separated. When Blake returned, he had a silly grin on his face. He leaned in to give me a hug, making his best effort to get me wet too.
“Blake, stop it,” I giggled.
“Just trying to share the wealth.”
My phone rang. I pushed him away playfully and fished it out of my purse. I froze. It was Daniel. I looked around, half expecting to see Connor, but we were completely secluded. He was probably calling to bitch at me about the interview, but it was the last thing I wanted to think about.
I ignored the call and tried to think about how I was going to handle this shift between Blake and me. We were falling hard and fast into our old ways, the normal rhythm of our relationship. I was at his parents’ house, for heaven’s sake, having a great night with his amazing family. This was way too far outside the scope of acceptable behavior according to Daniel.
He called again, and I turned my phone off. I didn’t care. I had so much love around me right now. Between Blake and me, Heath and Alli, among his warm and caring family, how could I let Daniel’s evil penetrate something that felt so right, so good? I pushed him out of my mind, unwilling to let him ruin the best day I’d had since I said goodbye to Blake. I didn’t want to think about that part of my life, at least not yet.
We spent the rest of the evening talking and listening to Blake’s family tell embarrassing stories about each other. We laughed and drank and enjoyed the beautiful night. Blake never left my side, holding my hand on his lap possessively, as if he were afraid to let me go even for a second. I didn’t mind, because I felt the same way.
A little tipsy, I said my goodbyes to everyone. Alli, Fiona, and I proclaimed that we loved each other no less than a dozen times. Heath bore witness, affirming the statement with us each time in his ever-patient sobriety. Catherine held me in a firm hug that seemed to last forever. I hugged her back. Hugs were good. Blake finally coaxed us apart. We stepped outside, and I stumbled a bit toward the car.
We got in and I snuggled up to Blake, kissing his neck and biting his earlobe. “I want you.”
“You’re drunk, but I will absolutely take advantage of you. These are extenuating circumstances.”
I giggled. “Good. You should pull over somewhere and do me in the car.”
“Wow, baby. Keep talking like that and I just might. First, let’s put your seat belt on, okay?” Blake pulled out of the drive. “Then take your panties off.”
I smirked and slid them down my legs, giddy for whatever plan Blake was cooking up.
I looked up from my seat belt endeavors just in time to notice a black sedan parked across the street. I twisted in my seat. The lights turned on and the car began to follow as we meandered back toward the main roads. My gaze fixed on the side view mirror. I blinked and tried to shake the buzz. I wasn’t imagining this. The car kept following us, a safe distance behind.
“You okay? You haven’t been this quiet all night.”
My heart raced as the cold reality of the situation became clear. My indiscretions with Blake were officially on the radar. Between that and trying to manipulate my way through the interview, Daniel would be furious. I powered on my phone. Daniel had called twice more, never leaving a voice mail.
The complacency I’d felt earlier had expired. All my fears could be realized, all because I couldn’t stay away. I panicked, my body shaking uncontrollably. Everything was crashing down now.
“What’s wrong? Do you want me to pull over?”
“No!” I shouted. “Drive, let’s get out of here.” Heaven help me, what have I done?
Blake’s hand tightened over the steering wheel and he reached over to hold my hand in his other. “Okay, here’s the deal. You need to talk to me right now, or I’m heading back to the house.” He stopped at a stop sign.
“Just drive. It’s not safe. They’re following us. Go!” This would be the worst buzz kill ever, especially if we ended up dead.
He frowned and kept going. He checked his mirrors.
“Who exactly is following us?”
I shook my head, hugging my arms tightly around my body, as if I’d fall apart completely if I let go.
“Erica, for f*ck’s sake! Who?”
“Daniel.” My voice was a whisper. “They’ve been watching us.”
Blake stared ahead onto the road, his expression unreadable. His speed picked up as we hit the highway. We were going well over the speed limit, zipping down side streets until we hit ours. He parked and helped me out.
Somehow we’d managed to lose Connor. Either that, or he’d simply decided to stop tailing us. Not that it really mattered now anyway. He knew I’d been with Blake.
We stepped into Blake’s apartment, and he planted me on the couch and brought me water. My body had calmed down a little, but I was filled with an empty kind of despair—that dark unknown that I’d envisioned so many times if Daniel changed his mind about sparing us. I said us, because if anything happened to Blake, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go on.
While I drank, Blake made a call from the kitchen. His voice was low and the call was brief. He returned and sat across from me on the table, stroking my thigh.
“Can we talk about this now?” His voice was gentler.
I didn’t know what else I had to lose by telling him. He deserved the right to protect himself now that I’d brought Daniel’s focus back to him.
“Daniel killed Mark,” I said.
His expression didn’t change. “I put that one together myself, Erica.”
“You threatened him, and it burns him that you did. He’s not going to let it go.” I bit my lip, staving off the tears that threatened.
“I’m not worried about Daniel.”
“Well you should be. He’s going to kill you, Blake! He said I had to end it completely with you or he was going to ‘remove you from the equation permanently.’ Now he knows, and… This is so bad. You don’t understand.”
“So this is why.” His stare was penetrating, piercing my soul.
I swallowed and nodded silently.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shook my head. “You don’t know how he is. He’s ruthless, violent. You have no idea what he’s capable of. He killed his own son, for God’s sake. I had to try to protect you from him.”
“I have information that exposes not just Mark, but him. I had no idea he was going to kill Mark. Not that I’m not infinitely happy he’s gone. If I’d known he was going to go that route, I probably wouldn’t have approached him the way I had.”
“What information?”
He exhaled. “Doesn’t seem like there’s any love lost between you now, so I don’t suppose there’s any harm in telling you.”
“What is it?”
“Daniel’s been covering up Mark’s exploits for years. You never reported it to the police when he raped you, but plenty of other women did. He can grease as many palms as he wants to make the problems go away, cover shit up, but he couldn’t make everything disappear around someone as prolific as Mark. When I told him I could make certain information very easily accessible, to the press for example, you can imagine that he wasn’t too pleased.”
“All the more reason to kill you now. He’s taken mercy on you to manipulate his way into my life. He wants me to be part of his f*cked up political campaign, unofficially, of course. He was going to help me pay you back the money you lent me so I could ditch the business.”
“And you agreed to all this?”
His eyebrows shot up, like I’d lost my mind. Maybe I had.
“I… He didn’t give me any choice, Blake. He said he was going to kill you. I’ve been trying to figure out a way around it this whole time, but he doesn’t make it easy. He’s horrible and…persuasive.” I sagged back into the couch, not wanting to even touch the fact that he’d been violent with me.
“Drink.”
I took a few more sips, wishing Blake would talk.
“I’ll go to him, Blake. I can try to convince him that this wasn’t what it looked like. He knows we’re bound to run into each other. Somehow I’ll make him understand, come up with an excuse. And then we’ll just have to lie low, figure out how to… I don’t know…”
“No. I’m not sneaking around to be with you.”
“Then what do we do?”
“He’s banking on you reacting just as you have, because you love me. What he’s not banking on is me causing so many problems with this election that he’ll be too busy to think about much else.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ll release the information. It’s that simple.”
“But…” I swallowed, suddenly at war. I cared about Daniel, enough that the idea of ruining his campaign troubled me. Why? Why would I care when he’d made my life hell? He’d threatened me with murder and more. “There has to be another way.”
“Then come out publicly as his daughter.”
“How would that be any less damaging for his career?”
“Having an illegitimate daughter you supposedly never knew existed is far less damaging than covering up multiple rapes for your stepson. It could be a nice amicable discovery. Not like you’re extorting him or anything. Then we could get married and he’d have to play nice, because I’d be his son-in-law. How’s that for payback?”
My eyes widened. “What?”
He smirked. “Is that so crazy?”
“Yes, that’s completely crazy. Try again.” My heart was suddenly beating out of my chest. Between freaking out about Connor following us and hearing those last words, I was completely sober now.
He laughed a little, but his smile soon faded. “I’m not wild about walking around knowing there’s a hit out on me, Erica, but we can outmaneuver him on this one. The information I have must scare him because he wouldn’t have killed someone to prevent me from leaking it.”
“He said he did it for me.” I gave a weak laugh. “I think he thought I’d be impressed that he did. That’s so f*cked up, isn’t it?”
“He probably did do it for you, but we both know how he is. He wouldn’t do something like this without calculating every possible risk and reward.”
I looked out the window, into the night sky brightened by the city lights. Would we be held prisoner like this until we knew it was safe again? When would it ever be safe again?
He leaned forward and feathered a finger down my cheek, turning my gaze back to him. “Nothing comes between us anymore, okay, baby?”
His eyes were dark and serious. I nodded. That was what I wanted too.
“I can’t lose you like that again. I’ll go crazy.”
“Me too.” An argument could be made that I’d already achieved some level of crazy in his absence.
“After we figure out what we’re going to do with Daniel, I want you to move up here with me, okay? Or we can get our own place, I don’t care.”
I paused. “Can’t I just stay at the apartment like before?”
“No. Not close enough. You owe me this much after disappearing and destroying my life these past few weeks.”
I wanted to protest, but I couldn’t fathom being away from him for a minute right now. “How are we going to get out of this mess? I can’t take it. I can’t lose you.”
“You’re not losing me. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll hire a SWAT team if I need to, okay? Let’s not think about that shit right now. All I want you thinking about is being here with me, right now.”
I took a deep breath.
“Come on. Let’s go to bed. He’s not going to be coming after us tonight. He’ll have to get through Clay and his friends first.”
I nodded, willing myself to calm down. I trusted that Clay could handle Connor. I liked Clay and I abhorred Connor, so the idea of them facing off was appealing, actually.
Blake went to stand but I pulled him down on the couch with me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tightly, as if someone might come and rip him from me. He held me back, tightening his arms around my rib cage. I breathed him in, feeling settled at the familiar scent that was Blake.
I fought the surge of emotion, relief at having him with me again twisted up with an ever-present fear of losing him again. I draped my leg over his, tangling our bodies together so he couldn’t leave.
“I’m sorry,” I choked. “This is all my fault.” I squeezed my eyes closed and fought the tears.
“Shh, baby. Don’t think like that. It’s going to be okay now.” He brushed my hair back from my face, fingering the tiny mark he’d made on my neck. “I know that now. You were trying to protect me. I appreciate the effort, but nothing is worth going through what we did. You don’t like me running your life, and I don’t like you making sweeping decisions like this without me. So maybe we can agree to figure these things out together in the future. What do you think?”
I pulled back and he swept away the tear that fell, kissing me sweetly.
“Love me, Blake.”
Heat passed over his features. He tugged off my shirt and bra and moved me so I was lying down on the couch. Slowly, he slid off my skirt, leaving me bared and open to him.
His lips parted slightly. “I want you like this, every night. Naked and waiting for me.”
He stood and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it away. He pushed his jeans down to the floor, revealing the perfectly sculpted man beneath the clothes. I stared, boldly admiring the body I’d come to love, to crave.
He lowered down, settling between my thighs. He slid up my body, his erection hard against my belly as he kissed me from my shoulder to my neck. His hands worshipped my curves, slowly and reverently, leaving trails of fire in their wake. I shifted against the sharp ache between my legs.
“I want to feel you inside me,” I said, breathless.
His perfectly masculine body hovered with measured restraint as he circled my opening. I circled the hot flesh of his erection and positioned him at my entrance. His breath caught as he pushed into me slowly. I dragged my eager fingers over the curves of his pectorals, circling the soft disks of his nipples until they hardened under my touch. He gave me a little more. I slid my hands down to his ass and dug my nails into his flesh.
“Ah, Christ.” He jerked forward, firmly planting himself inside me.
I moaned, arching into the fullness.
He lowered down, thrusting again gently. He traced the ridge of my ear with his tongue. “You’re a bad girl.”
I hummed. “You like me bad.”
“I thought you wanted me to make love to you.”
“When you’re inside me, you’re loving me and I’m loving you. Isn’t that how it works?”
He hesitated, and then took me with a deep and passionate kiss, licking and devouring me with his mouth as he shafted into me with steady drives. I tightened helplessly around his cock. The fever rushed over me, and my hips bucked gently beneath him.
Then he lifted me so I was straddling him, his cock buried in my depths.
“Oh shit.” I sucked in a sharp breath. He was so deep this way. A fine mist of sweat covered my skin. I circled my hips, finding my bearings. “I thought you didn’t like it this way.”
“You’re not exactly putting me out.”
I smiled. “You sure?”
He licked his lower lip, and I leaned in to catch it between my teeth. I sucked him and kissed him feverishly. He groaned and lifted my hips. He was only in me at the tip when he slammed me down hard, filling me. I gasped for air at the sweet ache of his cock penetrating me.
“Oh, God.” I clenched around him, steadying myself with my hands on his shoulders. “You’re so deep.”
He caught me by the nape and drew me in for a kiss, deep strokes, gently f*cking my mouth with his tongue. He gripped my hips tightly, grinding me down a fraction more. “I can’t live without this, Erica. Without you.”
My breath left me, but he swallowed it with another devouring kiss.
“You won’t have to. I promise. I swear it.” I sifted my fingers through his hair, pressing my breasts against his chest. “I love you, Blake. You’re the only one. My only love.”
I lifted again, my thighs slapping down against him. He hit the end of me again, stretching the sensitive tissues at my core. His hands gripped me anxiously, and his face tensed with agonizing strain. He lifted me, powerfully working me over his cock, over and over until my thighs trembled.
“Blake.” My voice was a plea. “Are you close? I want to come with you.”
His cheeks bloomed with heat and he clenched his jaw as he pumped into me. “Now, baby. Feel me come inside you.”
His words did me in, the vision of him losing himself, buried in me. My whole body shook with the power of the orgasm that swept over me. My head fell back as he released with a cry and one final drive, pushing us both over the edge.