Hard to Resist

chapter EIGHT



“I THINK HE SOUNDS totally dreamy,” Deb declared. Kat, Deb and Virginia were at the office sticking labels on donor-solicitation cards. “I’m not sure I understand your problem.”

“I’m not sure I understand it, either,” Kat confessed.

“Well, let’s figure it out,” said Virginia. The psychologist was in her fifties, dumpling soft, with short white hair and designer glasses. She had been Kat’s thesis advisor at the University of North Texas and acted as her mentor when Kat began to put together StrongGirls. Kat had been thrilled when Virginia agreed to be on her staff, despite the fact Kat couldn’t pay her anything near what she was worth. She’d needed someone with Virginia’s impeccable credentials to give the program respectability, and she also valued Virginia’s opinions and skills. The girls loved her, and Kat did, too.

Except when she wanted to analyze Kat, as she did now.

“Do you mistrust Ethan?” Virginia asked. “Do you think he has an ulterior motive?”

“Well, he’s interested in me. Romantically.”

“So he thinks doing all this stuff for you will further his cause?” Deb asked.

“I don’t see how, when I’ve told him several times now to stop it.”

“So really,” Virginia said, “he’s doing things for you, giving you things, out of the goodness of his heart. Because he thinks you need someone to take care of you—even at the risk of making you mad.”

Virginia had nailed it. “That’s it. He thinks I can’t take care of myself. Which is one step away from making decisions for me.”

“Like Chuck,” Deb said. By now, Kat’s two colleagues knew all about her ex-husband.

“Like Chuck,” Kat agreed.

“Well, you have just been through a devastating fire,” Virginia pointed out. She pushed her glasses down her nose and looked over them at Kat. “You lost everything, your child’s health was affected and you were homeless. Let’s face it, you would have appeared—at least to an outsider—pretty vulnerable.”

“Oh, thanks, Virginia.”

“She has a point,” Deb said. “We know how strong you are, but he has to learn that about you. Give him a chance.”

“I’m trying,” Kat said. “But what if I get used to all this cosseting? What if I get spoiled, and start taking it for granted? That’s what really scares me. Part of me likes being taken care of. Part of me wants to just relax and let him handle my problems for me.”

“That’s a perfectly natural feeling,” Virginia said. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. And let him do things for you now and then, if it makes him feel like a hero. Don’t sit so high on your pride that you drive him away before giving him a chance. Once he sees you’re not going anywhere, he’ll settle down.”

Kat could only hope her friend was right, because she wanted a chance with Ethan. She really did.

* * *

ETHAN COULD HARDLY WAIT until Kat and Samantha got home that afternoon. He had a surprise for Samantha that was sure to bring a smile to her face. It pierced him to his heart every time she looked at him with those wary eyes.

When he heard Kat’s car he went out onto the deck, ready to intercept them as they came through the gate.

“And then Mrs. Campbell got really mad,” Samantha was saying as they entered the yard, “and Brittany had to go for a time-out!”

“Well, Brittany should have known bet—” She stopped when she spotted Ethan, standing on the deck.

Samantha instinctively grabbed her mother’s hand, as if afraid Ethan was going to reach out and snatch her away. “Hi, Mr. Basque,” she said cautiously.

“Samantha, I have a surprise for you.”

“For me? What is it?”

Now Kat was the one who looked wary. “Ethan, haven’t we talked about this—”

“It’s not like that,” he said quickly, taking the few steps from his deck down into the yard. He had the surprise behind his back. “This isn’t something you need. It’s purely for fun.”

Just then, his surprise made a yipping sound.

Samantha’s eyes got huge. “Is that a puppy?” She looked up at her mother, delighted.

Ethan brought the squirming spotted pup from behind his back.

“It’s a puppy!” Samantha squealed, as she opened both arms. This was more the reaction he’d hoped to see the first time he showed Daisy’s pups to Samantha. “Mommy, look, a Dalmatian! Can I name him Pongo?”

Ethan laughed. “Well, considering it’s a girl, I’m not sure that’s appropriate.”

Samantha set the puppy down on the grass and got down on her hands and knees. “C’mere, puppy. C’mere!” She slapped her leg and the puppy toddled over, eager to play.

Ethan grinned broadly as he watched Sam interact with her new friend. Until he looked over at Kat and realized she was not pleased. Furious was more like it.

She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him several feet away, nearly toppling him. “Why on earth would you give my daughter a puppy without asking me first?”

“You don’t think she should have a puppy?”

“No! We already have one pet. How could you think—”

“But look at her. She’s having a blast.”

He had her there. But not for long. “Ethan. Dogs are expensive. That is a purebred Dalmatian. How much did she cost?”

“Not so much.” Three hundred dollars—which he had gladly paid to John Simon’s widow, who was technically Daisy’s owner. He couldn’t not adopt one, not when Captain Campeon was threatening to take the whole lot to the pound if they didn’t find homes soon.

“Dogs are time-consuming. They’re smelly. They’re destructive. And that thing is going to get huge.”

“I’ll pay for her food and vet bills and whatnot.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Somehow, I knew you’d say that. Yet one more thing I would owe you.”

“Kat, this is something I wanted to do. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Just undying gratitude,” she murmured.

“Not even that. Seeing Samantha laugh is payment enough. And maybe she’ll stop looking at me like I’m toxic waste.”

“You’re trying to buy her affection,” Kat said, and her voice rose.

Ethan shrugged uncomfortably. “If that’s what it takes, yeah.”

“We can’t keep the puppy, Ethan. When we move, we won’t be able to take her with us. You can’t keep a dog that big in an apartment. And I’m not the one who’s going to tell Sam. That’s your problem.”

Ethan started to throw out another argument, but then he heard a noise that stopped him. Kat heard it, too—a wheezing, whistling noise. They both looked toward the source of it.

Samantha was bent over at the waist and was clawing at her chest, obviously in the throes of a very sudden and very violent asthma attack.

Kat was at her daughter’s side instantly, digging into the child’s backpack. “Take it easy, sweetheart. Where’s your inhaler?”

Samantha shook her head. “Don’t…know.”

Kat jumped up. “I’ve got another inside. I’ll be right back.” She gave Ethan a pleading look before she jogged toward the garage and up the stairs.

Ethan dropped to his knees beside Samantha. He hoped it wasn’t the dog that had triggered her asthma. It had never occurred to him that she might be allergic. “Breathe slow and easy, Sam,” he said in his most soothing voice. “You’re gonna be fine. Your mom’s gone to find your inhaler.”

Ethan had barely started his paramedic training, but he recognized that this was a pretty severe attack. Samantha’s face was wet with tears; she was fighting for every breath and her face was red. “Don’t fight your breath. Breathe slow and deep. You’re gonna be fine.”

He lightly rubbed her back, hoping to comfort her.

“Were you and Mommy…fighting?” Samantha asked. Every labored breath was like a slap in the face to Ethan.

“Oh, that,” he said, as if it were no big deal. “We were just letting off some steam. We didn’t mean anything by it. Sometimes people get into arguments about dumb stuff. But we should never have even started bickering.”

She coughed a few more times, then gradually straightened up. Although her breathing was still labored, Ethan thought she sounded slightly better.

Samantha sank down to the grass, as if she were exhausted. “Why was Mommy mad?”

Ethan debated, then decided the truth was his best option. “I gave you a puppy without asking her first. Big mistake.” He settled down beside her and continued to rub her back.

The puppy, completely oblivious to the drama, had rolled onto its back, and Ethan patted her tummy with his free hand.

“You were giving it…to me?” Samantha asked, incredulous.

“It’s more like a loan,” he hedged. “But you can play with her whenever you want. And you can name her, how ’bout that?”

She managed a smile and a nod. “Okay.”

She was definitely breathing easier now, and by the time Kat returned with the spare inhaler the situation wasn’t quite so scary. Samantha took a couple of hits and sounded better still.

“Mommy, don’t be mad at Mr. Basque. He didn’t really give me the puppy but he said I can play with her—” she paused to breathe “—whenever I want. And name her.”

“We’ll talk about the puppy later.”

“Is she allergic to dogs?” Ethan asked.

“Not that I know of.”

“I should have asked you that before. I’m sorry. This time you were right.”

“And I wasn’t the other times?” But she offered him a faint smile. Then she turned her attention back to her daughter. “Are you okay, now, Sammy?” Kat asked, smoothing a stray curl off the child’s face.

Samantha nodded. “I ran too much, I think.”

“That’s okay, sweetie, it’s not your fault. Do you think you left your inhaler at school?”

She nodded.

“Let’s go inside and cool off.”

“Can I show the puppy to Jasmine?” She and Jasmine had played together one afternoon already, and they seemed to get along very well.

“Maybe you can show Jasmine tomorrow.” Kat helped Sam to her feet and took her hand. “And you,” she said to Ethan. “We’ll talk later.”

* * *

KAT’S HEART was in her throat. She’d heard a little of what Ethan had said to Sam. He had known exactly what to do, what to say to calm her down, and now Kat felt like a heel. Ethan had only wanted to make her daughter smile, and she’d practically spit in his face.

On top of that, she’d lost her temper, upset Samantha and set a terrible example.

But she wasn’t going to beat herself up over this. She was going to learn from it and move forward.

She ran a lukewarm bath for her daughter and fixed them some dinner. Sam played quietly with Bashira, then willingly got into bed and listened with sleepy eyes as Kat read from Winnie the Pooh.

“Mommy?” Samantha said suddenly. “Can I name the puppy Winnie?”

“You’ll have to ask Mr. Basque.”

“He said I could name her anything I wanted.”

“Well, then, I think Winnie is a fine name.”

“Do you like Mr. Basque?”

“Yes, I like him very much.”

“I think I’m starting to like him, too. He’s not scary like before.”

“I’m glad, Sammy. ’Cause I think he’s a really good man. He has a big heart.” Kat gave her daughter a kiss and smoothed her hair off her face. She was so precious. Kat was once again overwhelmed by how lucky she was—how lucky they both were—to be alive.

Samantha closed her eyes, and Kat turned out the light and tiptoed out. She looked out the window and saw that Ethan was on his deck.

Waiting for her.

She brushed her hair, slipped on a pair of flip-flops and went downstairs and across the yard.

This time he was on the porch swing, and he patted the spot next to him. The puppy was at Ethan’s feet, gnawing on his shoelaces.

“Well, let me have a look at her,” Kat said, picking up the puppy before taking her spot on the swing. She held the spotted dog and looked her in the eye. “You are going to be a lot of trouble, Winnie.”

“Winnie?”

“That’s what Sam wants to name her.”

Ethan shrugged. “It’s a good enough name.”

The puppy tried to lick her nose, and Kat set her back down. Winnie then found a rawhide chew and settled in to sharpen her teeth.

“I’m not very good at this relationship stuff,” Kat said. “When I was married, Chuck and I had our assigned roles. He made decisions, and I followed them. At some point, I realized that wasn’t right. I wanted to be on an equal footing with him. And he didn’t like that, so we parted.”

Ethan pushed the swing gently. “I’m certainly no expert, either. As I’ve clearly demonstrated.”

Kat laughed. “It’s hard. All the negotiating, the compromising. For a while, now, I’ve thought that being independent and standing strong were the most important things any woman could do. But if that means always getting your own way… Well, now I’m not so sure.”

“No one gets it right on the first try,” he said.

They lapsed into silence. The porch swing squeaked rhythmically and Kat decided it was one of the nicer moments of her life—simply because it felt so ordinary.

“Samantha has decided she likes you,” she said.

“So bribing her worked?”

“Showing her you really care is what worked. Talking to her like she was a real person. Being gentle. That’s what won her over. Not a puppy.”

“I like her, too,” Ethan said softly. “She’s a great kid.” He slid across the porch swing and put his arm around Kat’s shoulders, drawing her close.

Kat was the one who felt a little bit crazy. At least, all sorts of wild thoughts were assailing her as she breathed in the masculine scents that clung to him. The good, clean smell of soap and the remnants of his citrus aftershave and… Spices. Rosemary, garlic, marjoram. He’d been cooking. She’d never known a guy who cooked, other than the occasional steak or burger.

“I could split the cost of the puppy’s…”

“Don’t even think about it.”

She sighed. “I’m doing it again.”

“So am I. We’re a pair, huh?” He stroked her hair, seeming perfectly content to sit there, enjoying the evening breeze, listening to the chimney swifts as they darted and swooped overhead.

After several minutes, with a gentle hand on her chin, Ethan tipped her face up toward his, and she knew he was going to kiss her—and she knew she was going to let him. She felt more connected to Ethan at this moment than she had to any other man, ever. A warm glow descended on her, on them, and she eagerly met his mouth with hers.

Kat pulled away a few seconds later. “We have to stop.”

“I know,” he said.

“We need to take this slow, anyway,” she said apologetically.

“I know that, too. I don’t want to make any more false moves.”

“When Samantha goes to stay with her father, maybe we can go on a date—a real date.”

* * *

ETHAN’S HOUSE was dark and quiet, now that the puppy had finally gone to sleep in her crate with the aid of an old alarm clock and a hot water bottle. But Ethan was too wound up to sleep.

He still couldn’t believe how well things had ended up today, given how badly they’d gone earlier.

He’d learned an important lesson. Kat really, really didn’t like him to make decisions for her. She wasn’t just protesting about the gifts because she was polite or because she didn’t believe she deserved them.

He actually offended her by giving her things she could acquire for herself and diminished her by giving her things she couldn’t otherwise have—like a dog for her child. He made her feel as if he thought she was weak and incompetent to manage her life.

He was only coming to realize just exactly how strong—and strong-willed—she was. He had to learn to respect Kat’s castle walls. He’d never met a woman so determined to stand alone, to take care of herself and her child with no help or interference. But that was her right, and he had to respect it.

He considered it a minor miracle that she was willing to let him get this close, this fast. And a real gift that Samantha was coming to accept him in her life, too. But he was going to blow it if he didn’t back off trying to “fix” her life, a life she obviously believed did not need fixing.

Strange how things happened for a reason. He would never in a million years have wished illness on a child, but at least Samantha’s asthma attack had defused his and Kat’s tempers and forced them to see how unreasonable their behavior was.

Ethan managed to catch a few hours’ sleep before his shift. He showered, shaved and changed into his uniform, then tucked the pup under his arm and walked the two blocks to the station.

He arrived early, hoping to slip Winnie back into the dog run with Daisy before anyone saw him. The pup couldn’t stay by herself for twenty-four hours until she was older, and he didn’t think asking Kat to care for her would go over well.

That would come in time.

Jim Peterson had brought a dozen tomato plants to put in the garden out back and after breakfast, when Captain Campeon was handing out tasks for the day, Ethan offered to transplant them.

“Then who’s going to scrub the toilets?” the captain asked with a straight face, before he actually smiled. “Nah, go ahead.”

“I was gonna do the garden,” Peterson objected. “No one’s touched it since Dave Latier…”

Ethan hadn’t realized he would be stepping on anyone’s toes or disrespecting one of the fallen firefighters. But that was exactly what Jim Peterson thought. A couple of the others agreed, if the resentful glances shooting his way meant anything.

“I’m sure there’s no shortage of gardening to be done,” the captain said mildly, refusing to involve himself.

Ethan would have gladly given the garden task to Peterson, if it would keep the peace, but the other man stomped out of the dining hall.

Ethan was stuck with the chore now.

Actually, he loved digging in the dirt. He loved the scent of freshly mown grass and the satisfaction of growing fat beefsteak tomatoes and bell peppers. As he worked to clear debris from last year’s garden, he shook off his irritation. When it came to fitting in here at Station 59, sometimes it seemed he took one step forward and two steps back. Still, he was making progress.

Priscilla joined him a few minutes later, and they worked in companionable silence pulling weeds.

“I didn’t know David Latier,” Priscilla said, “but I’m sure the man wouldn’t begrudge a couple of rookies working on his garden.”

Ethan agreed.

“So, did you give Samantha her puppy?” Priscilla asked.

Ethan smiled. “Sam and I are going to share her.”

“Look at you. You’re grinning like a chimpanzee. You look just like Tony did when he first met what’s-her-name from the academy. Must be true luuuuuuv.” Priscilla took a dead vine from the garden and looped it around Ethan’s neck, then draped it over his head.

He snatched the vine away, laughing. “Don’t even think of comparing me to Tony. I don’t fall in love once a month like him.”

“True. But now that you’re in love, you’ve got that same sappy grin and that oh-ain’t-it-good-to-be-alive attitude. Sorta makes me sick.”

“I’m not in love,” Ethan said quickly. He busied himself digging a hole for the next tomato plant. “I don’t even know Kat that well.”

“Doesn’t matter. Face it, you’re in love. I recognize the signs.”

“How would you know? Have you ever been in love, Ice Princess?”

“No, I haven’t, and don’t call me that.”

“So why don’t you date? You’re pretty, intelligent, well-educated. Any guy would go out with you.”

“Do you see any guys hitting on me?”

“Well, no.” Priscilla wasn’t just pretty, she was a knockout. But she did give off definite keep-away-from-me vibes. Even Tony, who flirted with every woman he came into contact with, from the grocery-store checker to the eighty-year-old woman who walked her Chihuahua down their street every day, had learned not to flirt with Priscilla.

Ethan wisely decided not to point out that her Ice Princess nickname wasn’t entirely undeserved.

“Don’t you, like, want to hook up with anybody?” Ethan asked gingerly.

“I get all the male companionship I could possibly need. I live at a firehouse with nothing but men. I have one living downstairs from me and another next door. Why would I want to date one?”

Ethan thought about Kat and the sweet kiss they’d shared last night, and he couldn’t help grinning again. Dating could be so much fun.