Hard to Be Good

And then the cheering and catcalling started from over at the table. No going back now, not that Charlie wanted to. Not at all.

But that didn’t keep Charlie’s pulse from racing so hard that he could feel it beating against his skin everywhere.

He just hadn’t been able to take the distance between him and Jeremy for one more minute. And he couldn’t stand being ruled by fear for even one more second of his life.

The instant his lips crashed into Jeremy’s, Charlie realized something he’d never known before. Conquering fear didn’t mean not being afraid, it meant being afraid of something and doing it anyway. It meant saying no to fear—-no you can’t rule me, no you can’t hold me back, no you can’t keep me from the things I want the most. Not anymore.

If there were going to be consequences for loving someone as incredible as Jeremy Rixey, Charlie would take every one. Because Jeremy was worth the risk.

When Jeremy moaned into the kiss and his arms threaded around Charlie’s back, Charlie’s heart grew so big inside his chest that it hurt in the most beautiful way. Ignoring their audience, he poured everything he had into the kiss until there was just them, this moment, this kiss.

Finally, they broke apart, their faces still touching.

“It’s about frickin’ time,” Marz yelled to more laughter.

Jeremy chuckled and it made Charlie smile, even though his face was on fire and the room was spinning around him and the floor felt a bit wavy beneath his feet.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asked, his hand slipping to cup Charlie’s neck.

“I am now,” Charlie said, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry if you didn’t want anyone to know about us, but I—-”

Jeremy kissed him, cutting off his words, and then leaned his forehead against Charlie’s. “I don’t care who knows, Charlie. I don’t care if everybody in the whole world knows. I only care about you.”

Relief flooded through Charlie’s veins. “Can we please talk?”

“Hell yes, we can talk.” Jeremy took Charlie by the hand, their fingers intertwined, and led him toward the door. About halfway across the room, Jeremy waved off a new round of clapping and whistles.

Charlie stopped and looked across the room. They were all smiling at them. The whole team and all their girlfriends. Even the -couple of Ravens he didn’t know. Smiling and laughing, like they were happy for them. And it made Charlie happier than he’d ever been in his life—-happy to have found someone like Jeremy, happy to have found all these crazy -people, happy to have taken a chance.

“Hey Shane?” Charlie called. “The cat’s name is Cy.”

“What?” Shane said, shooting up from his chair. “That shit ain’t fair!”

More laughter followed them out the door and into the quiet of the hallway.

“My room?” Jeremy asked, keying in the code to the apartment door with his free hand. His other hand still clutched Charlie’s tight.

“Sure,” Charlie said.

In Jeremy’s room, they sat on the edge of the bed, thigh to thigh. Both of them started to talk at the same time.

“I did something stupid this morning—-” Charlie began.

“Listen, I overheard what you said—-” Jeremy said.

A long pause, and then Charlie said, “Oh, God. You heard me?” Guilt made his gut clench.

“Yeah,” Jeremy said.

Charlie took Jer’s hands. “I’m so sorry. I freaked out. We hadn’t talked about whether to go public, so I didn’t know . . .” He shook his head. “I froze. I let fear get the best of me and I lied about us. I’m so sorry.”

To Charlie’s surprise, Jeremy smiled. “I’d say you’ve beaten that fear now.”

They chuckled, and Charlie shook his head. “Please say you forgive me.”

“Of course I do,” Jeremy said. “It’s not even a question.”

“I promise I’ll never deny you again, Jeremy. I couldn’t, because I . . . uh . . .” His heart tripped into a sprint, but he’d come this far, and now it was time to go all the way. To be totally honest. He owed Jeremy that after telling that horrible lie about not being together. And he owed himself, too.

“What?” Jeremy said, scooting close enough that he could stroke his knuckles down Charlie’s face.

“Love you,” Charlie whispered.

Jeremy’s pale green eyes went wide. “What did you say?”

Oh, God. Too much? Too soon? Charlie dropped his gaze and shook his head, his thoughts all scrambled. “Uh.”

“Look at me, Charlie. Please?” Jeremy said, nudging his chin with his fingers. When Charlie finally gave in, Jeremy’s eyes were filled with so much softness and warmth. “You love me?”

Charlie managed a nod, because he didn’t want to lie to this man. “Yeah.”

“You surprise me over and over again,” Jeremy said with a growing smile. “And I fucking adore it.”

“You do?” Charlie asked, his throat tight.

“I do, because I love you, too, Charlie.”

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