He frowned and searched her eyes. “Is it?”
“Gabriel, we’re just getting to know one another. And there have already been a few surprises.”
He winced. “You need to know my intentions. I don’t intend to seduce you, then leave. I don’t intend to save some of my secrets until after I make you wholly mine. I’m trying to be good.”
Gabriel’s vow was made in good faith. He wanted her, he wanted all of her, but he realized while he lay awake that night that he couldn’t take her virginity before he’d revealed his true self. Although her ultimate reaction to Ann had taught him to hope, he was still afraid that his revelations would drive her away. She could do better. Nevertheless, the thought of Julianne with someone else made his heart stutter.
“Do you have a conscience?”
“What kind of question is that?” he growled.
“Do you believe that there’s a difference between right and wrong?”
“Of course!”
“Do you know the difference?”
Gabriel scrubbed at his face with both hands and kept them there. “Julianne, I am not a sociopath. Knowing isn’t the problem—doing is the problem.”
“Then you haven’t lost your soul. Only a creature with a soul can tell the difference between right and wrong. Yes, you’ve made mistakes, but you feel guilt. You feel remorse. And if you still have your soul, you haven’t lost your chance at redemption.”
Gabriel smiled sadly and kissed her. “You sound like Grace.”
“Grace was very wise.”
“And so are you, Miss Mitchell. Apparently,” he gently mocked her.
“Actually, I am. With a little bit of help from Aquinas, Professor.”
He reached over and pulled up her T-shirt slightly so that he could softly tickle her naked flesh.
“Ah! Gabriel! Stop it!” She giggled and writhed, trying to get away from him.
He continued for a moment, just to give himself the pleasure of hearing her laughter ring out in the darkened space. Then he let her go. “Thank you, Julianne.” He caressed her cheek. “You almost make me believe it.”
She placed her arm around his waist, snuggling into his side and inhaling his scent gleefully. “You always smell good.”
“You can thank Rachel and Grace. They started buying me Aramis a long time ago. I kept on buying it out of habit.” He grinned. “Do you think I should try something else?”
“Not if Grace bought it for you.”
Gabriel’s smile faded, but he pressed a kiss to her forehead nonetheless. “I suppose it’s a good thing she didn’t buy Brut.”
Julia laughed.
They lay very still for a few minutes, before she whispered close to his ear. “There is something I’d like to tell you.”
Gabriel pursed his lips slightly and nodded.
In spite of the dark, she looked away shyly. “You could have had me in the orchard. I would have let you.”
He traced her cheek with a single fingertip. “I know.”
“You know?”
“I am practiced at reading a woman’s body, Julianne. That night you were very receptive.”
She was surprised. “So you knew then that I—?”
“Yes.”
“But you didn’t…”
“No.”
“Will you tell me why?”
He paused thoughtfully. “I didn’t think it was right. And I was so happy to have found you and to have you in my arms…it was enough. It was everything.”
Julia leaned over and pressed her lips to his neck. “It was perfect.”
“When we go home for Thanksgiving, I’d like to take you back to the orchard. Will you come with me?”
“Of course.” She pressed a kiss just shy of his tattoo, for she knew he flinched whenever she touched him there.
“Kiss me,” he whispered.
She complied, pressing parted lips and open mouth to his, tasting him for as long as he would have her. Until he sighed and moved away. She was saddened by the sudden loss of contact, and an old worry reared its head.
Gabriel felt her tense. “Don’t confuse my restraint with a lack of desire, Julianne. I burn for you.” He moved her gently so that she was on her side and spooned behind her, burying his face in her hair. “I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered.
Julia wanted to tell him that she slept better with him than without him. She wanted to tell him that she would like to sleep with him every night and that she earnestly desired him.
But she didn’t.
***
When she awoke the next morning, she was alone. She glanced at the old fashioned clock Gabriel kept on his nightstand and was stunned to discover that it was already noon. She’d slept far too long.
He’d left her a continental breakfast and a note that was propped up against a wine glass filled with orange juice. Julia began eating the pain au chocolat as she read his note:
From the Desk of Professor Gabriel O. Emerson
Darling,
You were sound asleep,
so I didn’t want to wake you.
I’ve gone to run some errands.
Call me when you wake up.
I was very grateful to have you
in my arms all night
and for your words…
If I have a soul, it’s yours,