From This Moment On

5



THE NEXT DAY Trace waited for Nikki at the agreed upon spot, a grassy field between the Lone Wolf and the Sundance. It was the perfect place because she could easily access it by truck, and yet they’d have privacy.

He’d brought Gypsy, a sweet bay mare that was a guest favorite because of her gentle disposition. She rarely spooked and she was also on the small side, a good size for Nikki to control. Not that he expected her to climb in the saddle right away. She had to get to know Gypsy first and let confidence squeeze out some of the fear.

Damn, he hoped she hadn’t changed her mind. He glanced at his watch. She was only five minutes late. Nothing to sweat over. He thought he’d given her good directions but he might’ve taken a turn or two for granted. There weren’t many landmarks out here.

He checked his phone to make sure she hadn’t called him to cancel, relieved to see he didn’t have a voice mail. It wouldn’t have shocked him if she’d had second thoughts, but she wouldn’t leave him dangling. A moment later he heard the truck, and through the aspens and spruces, saw flashes of chrome reflecting the sunlight.

Gypsy barely reacted. The mare was used to the sound of vehicles around the Sundance, but he stroked her neck, passing his calm energy to her. Then Nikki parked and climbed out of the truck in tight jeans and there went his composure. He was still fine on the outside, it was just his pulse that seemed to be headed for a finish line. Gypsy danced a bit to the side, but he held on to the reins and hoped Nikki hadn’t seen the nervous step.

She walked toward him, her gaze fixed on the mare, her hands restless until she buried them in her front pockets. “Hey.”

“You have any trouble finding the road?”

“Only one wrong turn.” She finally met his eyes. “FYI, it’s not a road.”

He smiled. “It’s gotten overgrown since I was here last. Gypsy and I rode over the grass a few times to make a trail for you.”

“She’s a bay,” Nikki said, stopping a fair distance away and eyeing the mare as if she were an opponent in a boxing match. “I did some checking online so I’d know what I was getting myself into.”

“Good for you doing your own research. The more you know what to expect, the better.” He could stare at her sexy pink mouth and almond-shaped eyes all day, so he turned back to Gypsy before he forgot what he was supposed to be doing. “She’s about the best tempered horse I know. Josh and I use her to give riding lessons to the guests. Come closer. She wants to meet you.”

Nikki seemed to favor close-fitting stretchy shirts with necklines that dipped just low enough to make a man itch. He’d seen her wear four different colors. Today’s was yellow. And with the deep breaths she was taking, he’d have to watch himself. It didn’t help that he’d spent too long in the shower wondering how those lips would feel....

“I have to admit, she does have a sweet face.” Nikki stepped closer. “You’re holding on to her, right?”

“I am. Honestly I don’t need to, but we’re gonna take our time, let you two get acquainted for a while.”

She nodded, eyes only for Gypsy. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.”

“As soon as you’re comfortable, you keep moving closer. Remember what I told you yesterday about a horse’s ears?”

“Yes, forward means friendly or curious. And I’m trying to keep my voice quiet and even.”

Trace smiled. “You’re doing fine.”

“Oh, the other thing I read was that quarter horses are good horses to use to teach someone to ride.”

“That’s partly true, I suppose, but more important, the horse should be used to beginners. Also important is that I know the horse well.” He pulled off his right glove. “You can get online and read for hours, but it comes down to whether you trust me or not.”

Her lips parted and she tore her gaze away from the mare to look at him. “I do,” she said softly.

They were only talking about a horse and riding lessons, for Christ’s sake. No reason for his chest to tighten. “Good.” Obviously he’d been looking into those pretty brown eyes too long. He switched his focus to Gypsy. “Makes it easier all the way around.”

“I’m coming closer now.”

He didn’t want to make her more nervous by watching her inch forward, but he’d never met anyone this scared of a horse before. She wasn’t faking like some of the guests had done to get his attention. Her face was pale and if he touched her hand he’d bet it would be ice-cold. She stopped after three steps.

“Nikki?” He moved away from Gypsy to get closer to Nikki, but the mare went with him making her retreat. “Sorry. My fault.” He tethered Gypsy to a shrub, then went to Nikki.

Her eyes locked on the loose tie. “Will that hold her?”

“She’ll stay right where she is. That really was my fault.” He pulled off his other glove before he reached for her. “What are you afraid will happen?”

“I—I’m not sure.” She frowned at his fingers wrapping around her upper arm. His thumb almost touched his middle finger. The sassy mouth and tempting curves made him forget how small she really was.

“I’m not going to force you to do anything, so you can relax.”

She smiled a little. “You’re treating me like Diablo. Letting me get used to your touch.”

“Something like that.”

Her lashes lifted and her eyes looked every bit as enticing as her body. “Why?”

“So we can approach Gypsy together.” He put an arm around her shoulders, and held her against his side. And then ordered himself to calm the hell down. Finding out he was getting hard wouldn’t ease her mind.

“Okay,” she said, her body stiff.

“You’re short. I think you’re afraid the horse might lunge forward and overpower you.”

“Maybe. Yeah.”

“I still have a free hand to block her, but it won’t be necessary. Think this might help?” he asked, feeling her start to relax. “Two to one, plus I’m taller than Gypsy.”

“I was thinking a stool, but yes, this—”

The mare stepped closer. Nikki grabbed his hand and pulled his arm across her middle like a shield. Leaning into his side she tried to move them backward.

“You’re okay,” he said, his arms circling her protectively. Not wanting to lose ground, he slipped behind her, holding her against his chest, ignoring her death grip on his forearm. “Gypsy was probably curious, that’s all.”

She nodded, her gaze trained on the mare, her fingers digging deeper into his muscle. Her hair smelled like a beach drink, something with coconut and vanilla in it. The soft shiny strands caught on his roughened chin, though he’d shaved early this morning. He should’ve been more thoughtful and waited until just before he came to meet her. Taking another pleasant whiff, he vaguely reasoned that needing a razor didn’t play into any part of today’s—

Shit.

He froze in sheer panic, though he obviously wasn’t panicked enough. She was too short for her ass to be a strategic hit to his fly, but her lower back was doing a fine job. He had an erection the size of a national monument.

“Hey, you know...” He moved so that they weren’t touching, caught her shoulders when she lost her footing. “A stool is a good idea.” He couldn’t let her turn around and see him like this, let her think his motives for bringing her out here were anything but aboveboard. “I’ll get one and you can keep it in your truck for next time.”

Dammit all to hell. He rushed past her, afraid there wasn’t enough cold water in the whole state of Montana to cool him down.

* * *

“TRACE.” NIKKI UNDERSTOOD the problem. What she didn’t know was whether she should admit it or try to act as if she hadn’t noticed. If she came clean, she risked the chance that this innocent and very sweet overture on Trace’s part would turn into something that couldn’t be undone. Because she was turned on, too. How could she not be?

She knew what was under that brown T-shirt. And he had strong muscled arms that made her feel protected and safe—which was juvenile, because she knew better, from personal experience. A man could use his good looks and charm to make a woman believe promises he had no intention of honoring.

To be fair to Trace, he was slowly proving that maybe she’d been too quick to judge him. He had sides to him she hadn’t expected. In his own subtle way, Matt had tried to tell her there was more to Trace. But as much as she had grown to love her brother, when it came to men, she trusted her own instincts over anyone else’s. Right now, though, she was a little shaky in that department.

“Trace.”

“Yep.” He was keeping his back to her and stroking Gypsy’s neck.

Nikki had no desire to get in the mare’s space or to embarrass him, so she stayed back a few feet. “Thank you for taking time away from your work to do this for me. Gypsy, I want to thank you, too.”

He smiled at her over his shoulder, then frowned and leaned into the mare, his ear close to her muzzle. “What’s that?” He drew back, looking annoyed and glaring at poor Gypsy. “I’ve warned you about your manners.”

Nikki laughed. “Okay... What did she say?”

“‘Talk is cheap. Where’s my damn apple.’”

“You’re nuts.”

“Yeah, Gypsy said that, too.” He was still smiling when he moved to unfasten the saddlebag.

She knew he couldn’t still be hard or he’d be turned away, but she had to look. Not quite normal yet, though not nearly as impressive as five minutes ago. She almost sighed. Such a waste.

Gypsy had to know what was coming. Stretching her neck, she turned to watch him pull out her treat.

“I’m not sure why, but I’m surprised you feed her apples.”

“I don’t usually.” He shrugged. “Sometimes I let a guest give her one. I thought you might like to.”

“Um, I—I—” She ended in a soft whimper.

“Not now. I’d hoped we’d get a little further.” He gave the glossy red apple to Gypsy, who chomped down on it. Wow, she had big teeth. “Maybe next time,” he said. “You still game to try again?”

“Tomorrow?”

He shook his head. “Maybe the day after. I’ve got something going on in the morning and can’t predict when I’ll be done.”

She’d bet it had something to do with the guests, which shouldn’t matter to her. And it didn’t...not at all...

Now that she thought about it, he hadn’t flirted with her once. Not like he did at the bar. The hard-on didn’t count. It was a natural physical reaction and he’d run from it.

Huh.

“You know I don’t have to leave yet,” she said. “Unless you do.”

“No, I planned on us spending a couple hours out here. What time do you have to be at Sadie’s?”

“Around five.”

“You going straight there?”

She nodded. “I’m not hot and sweaty so I don’t need to go home first.”

He gazed up at the passing cloud cover, adjusting his hat to protect his eyes. “It feels nice in the shade.”

“Yes, it does.”

Silence stretched, and she didn’t understand why it suddenly seemed awkward between them. They’d moved past the embarrassing hard-on thing easily. Was he disappointed that she hadn’t made much progress with Gypsy? She really had, she thought, staring at the mare who seemed to be looking for another snack. Standing here with no wall separating her and the horse was progress. And she hadn’t had a single moment of pure dread, imagining evil lurking behind Gypsy’s soft chocolate-brown eyes. Maybe she should explain that to him.

“I meant to—”

“This is the—”

They looked at each other, not smiling, just staring. It figured they’d both speak at once. And now nothing.

“I’ll go first,” Trace said. “I want to get it off my chest. If I overstepped earlier, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t. It never crossed my mind that you had. Here I’m worrying that I disappointed you.”

“What?” His brows rose in disbelief. “You’re doing great. Ever think you’d get this close to a horse outside of a stall or corral?”

Nikki smiled. “I was going to point that out to you.”

“Don’t you worry, darlin’, I’m paying attention.”

Her mood deflated. “I really don’t like you calling me that.” She watched him frown and fidget with the brim of his Stetson. He called guests darlin’ all the time. Especially if he’d forgotten the woman’s name. She wouldn’t explain why it bothered her. But she refused to be part of the herd. He could figure it out for himself. Or not. As long as he stopped.

“I won’t do it anymore.”

“Okay, then we’re good.” She patted her pockets for her keys, then remembered she’d left them in the ignition.

“If you’re feeling edgy because of Wallace, we can wait on your lessons.”

“I don’t give a damn about the man, and you know it.” That he would say something so stupid pissed her off. Why was everyone trying to make her feel guilty for not caring? She had no reason to feel anything but contempt.

“Doesn’t matter if you care or not. He’s sick and dying right there in the house. The atmosphere changes. For everyone.” He kept looking at her, even when she glared back. “I bet the hands living in the bunkhouse who can’t stand him are affected. That’s the way it goes.”

“What do you know about it?”

“It’s been twelve years but I damn well remember what it was like when my dad died.”

“No, you don’t understand. Everyone loved your dad.” Nikki regretted her childish tone the second she heard her own voice. But Trace didn’t get it. People spoke Gavin McAllister’s name with reverence.

“He was a great man. The best man I’ve ever known,” Trace said, turning to pet Gypsy. “He was a fair employer. And a good father, though I might’ve argued that point a few times when I was fourteen and getting grounded every month.” He smiled a little. “But to say everyone loved him? That’s stretching it. Dad had some zero-tolerance rules about conduct on the ranch and if the line got crossed, there were no exceptions. Some guys didn’t see that as being fair. He’d had his share of getting flipped off behind his back. But once my dad was too sick to get out and work alongside the men, the whole mood around the place changed.

“Even my friends didn’t want to come over and play pool. For months Dad was confined to his bed, so nobody saw him. Just the family and the nurse who’d come out to check on him and bring pain meds. It’s not only about knowing he’s upstairs suffering, but looking around while you do everyday things and recognizing his absence. Lucy’s feeling it, so is Matt, I guarantee you. And that’s bound to affect you.”

Nikki hadn’t realized he’d switched from talking about his father to Wallace. She’d been too unsettled by the rawness in his voice and how his face had changed. Usually she was good at reading people. For all the gang-related funerals she’d attended, maybe she’d never seen loss up close, because right now, it felt as if she were staring it in the face. But after twelve years?

She was lucky she hated Wallace. If this is what loving and losing someone did to a person...

“Hey, I didn’t mean to freak you out.” Trace was back to being himself, but with a concerned frown aimed at her.

“You didn’t.”

“I’m trying to tell you that you don’t have to act tough around me, Nikki. I get it.”

“Act tough?” She scoffed. “I am tough. I’ve had to be. And no, you don’t get it.” She felt badly he’d spent those past few moments reliving his father’s illness. She did. But their situations were different and she didn’t like him thinking she was weak and needy.

“For the sake of argument, how about we agree that you can use me as a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on if the need arises.”

“Look, I’m sorry about your dad. You have such a great family and he was too young, but I’m fine. I am. I—” She totally lost her train of thought when she saw tenderness soften the lines bracketing his mouth. Why did she find it so hard to accept kindness? She didn’t doubt Trace’s sincerity, so why was she always unprepared for it? Looking past him, she stared at the cloudless blue sky, the snowcapped peaks of the Rockies. So much beauty. She should be finding peace inside, not panic, certainly not fear that her legs would give out. Oh, God...

Trace was quick, startling both the mare and her. He reached Nikki, and put his arms around her before she could tell him to stop. She was tempted to sag against his broad chest until the shakiness passed. For that same reason, she struggled to get away from him. Maybe that was the trouble with him. He made her weak. His kindness, the concerned looks and gentle touches chipped away at her defenses. Somehow he seemed to see past her facade and that was dangerous for her. How had he even known about her horse phobia? Matt hadn’t seen it.

“Come on, now. I’m not hurting you.” Trace loosened his hold. “I’m not even gonna kiss you.” He had that damn smile in his voice. “Of course if you want me to...”

She’d quit fighting him when he mentioned the kiss, but realized it only now. And then told herself it was better that she stay where she was so he couldn’t see her face. “Trace, I swear—”

“I’m just teasing you.” His short husky laugh skipped along her nerve endings. He began gently stroking her back, she imagined, much like how he’d been stroking Gypsy’s neck. “I have something to say but not while we’re looking at each other.” He rested his chin on top of her head. His heart pounded against the palm she laid on his chest. “Okay?”

It was probably a trick to spark her curiosity. “I don’t like my hands and arms trapped like this.”

“Put them around my waist. I don’t mind.”

She laughed. “Oh, Trace.”

“What?” He leaned back to look at her. “I’m serious. I have something to tell you.”

“All right. I’m listening.” She couldn’t seem to stay mad at him, which was irritating in itself. Another reason she should stay away from him, not be meeting him in secret. If there was another guy like him on the planet, she sure hadn’t met him.

His chest expanded on a sigh. “I’ve never told anyone this so I’d appreciate you not repeating it.”

“I won’t.” She slipped her arms free and slid them around him, pressing her cheek to his chest, feeling his strong steady heartbeat.

“One day my father and I were mending fences in the north pasture. I was pissed off that I had to work that particular afternoon because we were having a dance at school later, and any one of the hands could’ve been doing the work. But my dad, he had this thing about doing different projects with each son. Cole had had lots of one-on-one time with him when he was in high school and so had Jesse. Dad wanted to make sure we boys knew how to do everything on the ranch and felt it was a good way to spend individual time with us.

“Well, I bitched and moaned that I wouldn’t be ready in time to pick up my date, it was my first dance and I’d be too tired to enjoy it and on and on. Normally he would’ve let me go and we would’ve rescheduled. But I’d done that to him twice before so I could try out for varsity football. Then once he’d had to cancel.” Trace paused. “I reminded him of that and accused him of never having been that stubborn with Cole and Jesse. Not the day of their first dance. Why poor me?”

His sudden slide to sarcasm jolted her. She tried not to tense, especially since he was already holding her kind of tight, but she knew something bad was coming.

“He smiled at me, said ‘you’re right, son, this can wait for another time.’ He looked tired and there was no reason for him to work alone. I told him he should ride back to the house with me. He shook his head, told me to go, and I was still mad, checking my watch and my phone, too anxious to jump in the shower to care what he did.

“The next day, he and my mom sat all of us kids down. Jesse was home for the weekend from college. And they told us Dad had cancer. He’d taken too long to go see the doc. The late diagnosis meant he didn’t have much time left.” Trace swallowed. “We never did finish the fence line together. That afternoon in the north pasture was the last day he got his hands dirty. When he’d said there’d be another time, he’d lied. He knew he was too weak. He’d wanted to give me that last day and I was a total friggin’ self-centered a*shole.”

“Oh, God, Trace, don’t—” She tried to look at him but he wouldn’t let her. Unsure what emotion she’d find in his face, she let him have his dignity and just hugged him. “I hope you’re not still holding on to that argument. From what I’ve heard about your dad, he would never want that for you.”

“Wanna know what I regret the most? I never brought it up. It ate at me yet I pretended the argument never happened. Hell, it wasn’t an argument, it was me mouthing off. I was so ashamed and stupid. That damn McAllister pride that kept him from seeing the doctor kept me from telling him I—” His voice broke. “Talk about stupid. I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

Nikki knew why. He’d given her a piece of himself so she’d feel comfortable confiding in him. What an incredible gift. Her eyes were moist, and she blinked like crazy when he leaned back, threading his fingers through her hair. She finally looked up at him, and found his tender smile almost more than she could take.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“I didn’t do anything.”

She just smiled back, amazed at how familiar his face had become. His green eyes had darkened and his mouth looked firm and soft at the same time. “I don’t suppose one kiss would hurt,” she said, her heart pounding. “Do you?”

His brief hesitation surprised her, then he slowly lowered his head, and she pushed up onto her toes to meet him halfway.