“Ah, I see,” he shot back sarcastically.
I grabbed the pink hair tie that I use to keep my cards together and then put the game away. I leaned against my bed and picked at a loose thread on my rug while I thought.
“So….now that you’ve admitted that I’m one of the only friends you have – and you hit the lottery with that, by the way – tell me about Antonio.”
I smiled a little, but didn’t lift my eyes. “There’s not much to tell, but we were okay the last time we talked. I just eventually cut him off after awhile because I was ready to move forward.”
“How you feel knowing he’s living here?”
I shrugged. “Honestly? I feel bad for him. He’s a good guy, Terrell. Seriously. I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression that night at the store by hiding behind you,” I laughed, “but I just don’t feel like rehashing old stuff. You know? We didn’t break up because he did me wrong or anything like that; I was actually the one who messed things up. I just fell for AJ so hard that…..I didn’t think about anything I was doing when it came to him.” I smiled when nostalgia set in. “He got me into a lot of trouble…..mostly the fun kind.”
Terrell laughed.
“I just hope he’s not here still trying to hold on. I want him to be happy, too,” I concluded,.
Terrell was thoughtful for a few seconds. “I guess I get it – the holding on part. Seems pointless, but…..I get it,” he repeated.
I nodded and then glanced over at my phone.
“I’m gonna take off,” Terrell announced. “Told my grandma I’d call before she goes to bed.”
I stood to let him out. When I was alone again, I paced over to my bed and sat, eyeing my phone once again. Curiosity was eating me alive, wondering what, after all this time, Antonio had to say.
“You have one unheard message. First message,” the automated voice announced just before I heard Antonio on the other end.
“Hey, whassup. I was just…..” he paused and reworded his statement. “You were on my mind and I know school just started up, sooooo I thought I’d check and see how it was going. If you’re busy, I get it. It’s cool. Call or text back when you get time. Or….don’t. I’d understand that, too.”
Hearing how uncertain he sounded made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. I still felt terribly guilty for what I’d done to him, but not about being with AJ. It took me a while to get to that point, but I didn’t anymore. I was pretty sure all Antonio wanted from me was to ask how I’d been, but I couldn’t allow myself to even entertain the idea. There was too much history there and too many memories – good and bad. Either way, I decided it’d be best to just act like he never called and not allow myself to look back. I sighed as I deleted the message and set the phone back down on the nightstand.
Chapter7
Sam
Deanna, Karl and I decided to carpool home for Thanksgiving. We were all pretty much broke, so we pitched in what money we had and rode back to Fairfax in my car. I wasn’t quite ready to drive long distances yet since the accident, so I willingly handed Karl the keys. I sat in the backseat and watched the passing scenery as I thought. Eventually, the landmarks became more familiar as well as the street names on the freeway exits.
I couldn’t wait to see AJ. His impromptu visit was the last time we’d been together which means it’d been over two months since I laid eyes on him in person. Our chat sessions definitely helped, but they were no replacement for the real deal. We already had plans to meet up later tonight once we’d both had a chance to see our families and to get settled in. To say that I was excited would be the understatement of the century.