A week or so after the email came through, there was another requesting my address so she could stop by. Thinking nothing of it, I sent it, and an hour later she was standing in the hallway outside my apartment door. It was completely innocent, although I’d already picked up on the fact that she had feelings for me. However, at that time, I couldn’t see past Sam enough to even explore the idea of being with anyone else. In fact, that’s basically how it was for an entire two years. For all that time, Kira was nothing but a good friend, a friend who slowly but surely helped me realize that I was a whole person even without Sam.
One day it was like a light bulb went off inside my head and I finally saw Kira – like for the first time. It was three summers ago, at the end of my junior year of college. I sprained my ankle pretty bad playing basketball with Karl and I was bummed about having to spend a good part of my summer on crutches. Kira called one day and said that she had a surprise if I could, and I quote, “hobble my crippled-self to the door to answer it”. She showed up with a box full of corny DVDs, boxed mac n’ cheese for days, and an assortment of Icy Hot products. She ignored the beautiful weather outside for three weeks straight so I wouldn’t feel so bad about being stuck indoors, only returning home to sleep at night. That was when she made the shift to the forefront of my mind, and Sam finally took a backseat.
“Any input, Anthony?” My father asked, snatching me from my inner thoughts.
Caught off guard, I sat up straight and cleared my throat. “Uh…no. I think you pretty much covered it all,” I replied, clueless as to a word he’d spoken in the last ten minutes. Judging by the look on his face, he knew I wasn’t paying attention.
“Well, if there aren’t any other issues that need to be brought to the table, we’ll conclude until next week.”
I was the first one out of my seat, headed for the door so that I could retreat to my office in peace.
“Anthony?” My father called out from behind.
With a heavy sigh, I turned and took a few steps in his direction, shoving my hands in my pockets when I stood before him. “Yes?”
My father met my stare with kindness in his eyes, but I ignored it – just like I’d ignored every other attempt he’d made to show me that he’s not the same man he was years ago – apparently losing the majority share of his company to Kira’s father was a humbling experience for him. My icy stare didn’t change.
“Congratulations, Son,” he said with an air of pride behind the words as he acknowledged that he knew of my engagement. “I would’ve loved to have been there.”
His lack of an invitation was completely intentional. As far as I was concerned, our rift was irreparable, so why pretend like we’re ever going to have the father/son relationship that he seemed to be after lately – for the past three or four years to be exact. The fact that he decided to change his demeanor toward me once word got to him that Sam and I were no longer together was another reason I refused to fall for the act. He’d already let me know that his love and approval for me was conditional.
“Thanks,” I replied with a quick, tight smile, and then turned to attempt an exit once more.
“Son?”
I sighed, but didn’t answer.
“Your mother and I would like to gift you and Kira a honeymoon – anywhere you’d like to go.”
I nodded. “Thank you for the offer, but…I’ve got it covered.”
His expression fell slack when I rejected him, but he didn’t try to stop me when I crossed the threshold, headed straight for my office. I sat in my chair, gazing out the window at nothing in particular. My father was such a non-factor that I didn’t even waste any energy revisiting our conversation after I was out of his presence. Terrell’s suggestion, on the other hand – the one about calling Sam, came back to mind. When memories of her crept into my private thoughts, I didn’t actively fight them at first. They were only brief flashes – one of her waking up beside me with the sun bathing her face as she smiled, another of her singing and dancing in the passenger seat of my car while I watched, and the last memory I had of her…her tear-streaked face as she passed through the doorway of my dorm room with her heart set on leaving me behind. The last one sobered me and I cleared my throat, deciding to call and see how Kira’s day was going so far.