I didn’t sleep at all that night. I lay there in absolute darkness and wept until the sun rose. My pillow was wet with tears, but I didn’t have the strength to lift my head and turn it over. I stared at my phone fervently hoping that some way, somehow, AJ would call. But he never did.
The entire day passed me by without me leaving the bed. Mom came in a couple of times to check on me, but I didn’t say one word to her even as she questioned me. I couldn’t have spoken one word even if I wanted to. My stomach was in knots and I had a tight feeling in my throat.
By nightfall, my parents had given up on pulling me out of my slump. There was nothing anyone could do……except for AJ Midnight came and sleep overtook me. It was only pure exhaustion, not peace that brought it on. The next day was a repeat of the first until my phone rang at around 3:00 in the afternoon. I didn’t even bother looking at the caller ID as I answered it halfway through the first ring. “AJ?” My tone was desperate.
There was silence on the other end for a moment. “No, it’s me.” Antonio’s voice on the other end startled me.
“Oh, sorry. I just thought…you…were A.J,” I replied quietly.
“It’s cool.” He cleared his throat. “I was thinking you might wanna hang out today. We can go out to eat first and then do whatever.”
I wasn’t in the mood to even leave my bed, let alone my house. “I don’t think so, Antonio. I’m not really feeling well right now,” I replied.
He was disappointed and his voice reflected that. “Alright then. I’ll just call you some other time.”
I don’t know what moved me, but I called out to him before he could hang up. “Wait. What time do you want to go?” I asked. Staring at the walls of my room was starting to make me crazy anyway. I didn’t feel like seeing anyone, but Antonio was a means to an end. He was my only way to escape. So, we agreed that he’d come pick me up at seven.
I was so unenthusiastic about leaving that I didn’t even start getting ready until a half hour before he was due to arrive. He rang the doorbell at exactly 7:00. I tried to pretend that I was eager so that I wouldn’t hurt his feelings, but I don’t know if he bought it. I’m not sure I really cared. He walked me to his truck and opened the door as he always had and I watched him walk around to the other side and climbed in next to me. It was strange sitting beside him like this because I hadn’t been in his car since we’d broken up.
He was obviously excited to be with me and I felt a little guilty for using him this way. I worked to improve my attitude as we drove so that I’d be in better spirits by the time we reached the restaurant. We pulled into the parking lot of the place he’d taken me the day we first spoke of our love for one another. I wasn’t entirely sure that this wasn’t the reason he chose this particular restaurant tonight. The waitress seated us in a secluded booth away from most of the other patrons. I sat down and tried to clear my head so that I could focus at least a small portion of my attention on him.
“What’s the matter? Something’s on your mind.” He was genuinely concerned about me.
“It’s nothing you’d want to hear about. I’ll be fine.” I couldn’t even make eye contact with him.
“It’s about AJ?” He asked. This was possibly the first time since AJ and I got together that Antonio had used his name. This caught my attention.
“Yeah.”
He reached across the table and touched my hand. “We can talk about it. It’s cool. I’m just here to listen.” I wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not.
“It’s just that we keep running into brick walls. My father hates him. His father hates me. No one seems to understand.” I looked at Antonio cautiously awaiting his response.