“This doesn’t change anything – doesn’t change how I feel about you.” My eyes lifted to meet his as he continued. “I don’t care if the people around us never get it. If it comes down to just being you and me, then so be it.”
My heart felt heavy in my chest as I stared at him. We kissed and I stopped worrying about anything for that brief moment. Every bit of doubt floated away. After I released him he came around to help me out of the car. We paced toward the house and I kissed him one last time. Before I could put my key in the door, AJ stopped me. “No matter what happens from here, don’t ever forget what I just told you,” he said as he stared intently into my eyes. I wasn’t sure what he meant, but it didn’t sit well with me. I watched him walk back to the car and then he drove more slowly than usual down my street.
My parents were sitting on the couch in the living room holding one another watching ‘It’s a wonderful Life’. I knew they were curious as to why I’d returned home so quickly, but I really didn’t feel like talking about it. Not then. Not ever. My mother turned to look at me and saw my vacant expression. She was getting up from her seat, but I motioned for her to stay where she was. “I’m fine mom. I just need to lie down. Can we please talk about it later?” I asked breathlessly. She didn’t respond verbally, but her eyes told me that she understood, watching me as I thudded up the stairs.
I showered again just because I needed to relax. After throwing on a warm pair of pajamas I climbed into bed and turned on the television. My phone was on the nightstand and I checked it to see if I’d missed a call from AJ while I was in the bathroom. Nothing. I needed to know what happened when he went home…..if he even bothered to go back. His phone rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello?” I asked. The next second I heard the dial tone. I wasn’t sure what happened, so I tried again. The phone stopped ringing and then I heard a dial tone just like the first time. This wasn’t a mistake. My guess was that his parents had confiscated his cell phone to block communication between AJ and me.
There was still another week and a half of Christmas break left which meant that I wouldn’t even be able to see him at school. There was no way I could go that long without at least being able to talk to him. As I panicked I dialed his number for a third time. I was startled to hear that the voice on the other end of the phone wasn’t AJ’s.
“Yes,” Mr. Hahn said with a hint of irritation in his voice.
I hesitated. “I need to speak with AJ.”
“I’m afraid that’s not going to happen. My son won’t be in contact with you anymore, and you shouldn’t bother calling. His phone is now, and will continue to be in my possession.”
I didn’t know what to say. “You can’t keep us from being together. Whether you accept it or not, AJ loves me and there’s nothing you can do about it.” I was desperate to break his resolve even if only a little – enough to let me talk to AJ briefly.
“I’m sorry, but I won’t stand by while you ruin Anthony’s life. He’s going places and he doesn’t need you holding him back.”
AJ must have entered the room at that precise moment. It was hard to make out anything he was saying except for the long stream of curse words. Mr. Hahn was silent for a few seconds while AJ ranted wildly. And then……dial tone……again. I dropped the phone on the bed and tears began to roll down my face. This was possibly worse than the way my father had responded to AJ when they’d met. I couldn’t shake the impending sense of doom that was closing in on our relationship, and it didn’t feel like there was anything I could do about it.