I reluctantly turned to look at him. In all the drama that had taken place over the last month I’d forgotten how handsome he was. His dark skin still appealed to me and reminded me of a milk chocolate candy bar. I could almost taste it in my mouth as I looked over his face. It wasn’t in my plans to feel this way around him, but this wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.
“I’m glad you came.” He looked over my face slowly. “It’s strange not being able to call you when I want to. It always feels like something’s missing.”
There was no point in responding to his statement. I already knew that Antonio still loved me, but so much had transpired between us that I wasn’t sure of how strong that love was. If I was completely honest with myself, I did still harbor feelings for him as well, but they didn’t compare to my love for AJ. It was difficult to explain, even to myself and they’re my feelings.
As he stared at me, his smile faded and he dropped his gaze to the floor. Sadness filled his face as he thought to himself. I wanted to go to him and comfort him, but I wasn’t sure if that was a bad idea. As quickly as the mood came over him, it passed. He shook it off and asked, “So, have you heard from Charleston yet?”
I tried to focus on what he was saying. “Uh…..no, not yet, but it shouldn’t be much longer I hope. Are you getting excited about leaving for Blanchard?” I asked.
“Not really; it’s just gonna be another four years of school.”
I laughed at his response. “But you have to at least be looking forward to dorm life, right?”
There was another silent moment. “Umm…..I’m not gonna be living on campus.”
I was confused. “But…..I thought you had everything worked out already? What changed?”
He looked into my eyes and his expression was serious. “I didn’t change my mind about the apartment. I’ve already found a few places that I wanna check out.”
I had to close my mouth which was gaping open. “But….. Are you…..”
He interrupted my mindless babbling. “I just have a hunch that things between us aren’t completely over and I don’t want distance to be the problem.”
No words would come out of my mouth no matter how hard I tried to speak. My body stiffened as Antonio scooted closer to me on the couch. I didn’t even have time to react as he held my chin in his hand and pressed his soft, warm lips to mine. I wanted to back up, but part of me wanted to let him have his way. Needless to say that side of me won. I felt his tongue separate my lips and enter my mouth. Both of his hands were now holding my face lightly enough that if I wanted to, I could’ve moved, but there was no chance of that.
I had to be careful not to let things get too out of hand. After all, I’d opened Pandora’s Box, sexually speaking, and I didn’t want to do something that I’d regret later. He sucked my lower lip between his and then I had to pull away. The intensity was starting to get to me.
I stood to my feet and decided to cut my visit short. When I started walking toward the door to escape whatever was happening between us, he reached out and grabbed my hand, stopping me mid-stride. He stared at me intently as he spoke. “He doesn’t love you like I love you. And he never will. Don’t expect me not to fight for you.” He released my hand and I didn’t say another word. I walked to my car hastily as the feeling of guilt came upon me. Although Antonio had kissed me, I’d definitely let him.